singlelife Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 If you like a guy and you hear from your gf that he's a dog or a jerk does that make you not date him. Or do you just go on what you feel and date the guy.
tigressA Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I will at least hear them out and then look for signs from the guy that validate what she's told me. I first rejected a guy I ended up dating for almost 2 years because a close friend of mine told me he had a really inappropriate/offensive sense of humor, and that on one occasion he had deliberately repeated something in front of another girl who was personally, deeply offended by it. Overall he was good in the relationship, but his sense of humor did end up being a point of contention more than once.
Star Gazer Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 It would depend on the girlfriend and my relationship with her. If we were closer to acquaintances, and her own choice in men was "off," I honestly might not take her seriously.
Crazy Magnet Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I've found that asking more than one person about a man's reputation yields a better and more complete picture. However, if a close friend came to me with concerns I would listen to her, then ask around, then see if I noticed any of the same things. If I did I would bail.
Intricategirl Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 Depends on the GF in question. We've got a weird dynamic, but I'm still friends with a guy I used to date. Recently, I was at the bar with him and his new girlfriend, and she tried fixing me up with a gay man. He was giving me his number for an art connection (one of my jobs is as an artist), and she was thinking, "SCORE!" lol So, I won't be trusting her. Other than that, it totally depends. I had one guy that I was dating. 3 different girls told me not to. One was because she wanted to date him again (I dropped her, because she continues to stalk me to this day- over a year after I've split up with the guy). One was because she didn't like his sense of humor. One was because she said, "You deserve better than how he's treating you." One was interested in herself. One was not interested in the guy, therefore he wasn't right for anyone. One was interested in my emotional well-being. The same one that thought I deserved better said the same thing about my ex-husband. If she met a new guy and said it, I think I would probably drop him on the spot, because her past ability to see the situation and her desire to see me happy has earned her the right. It tells me she's probably seeing something bad that I'm missing. But that's not a privilege I give lightly.
tigressA Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 It would depend on the girlfriend and my relationship with her. If we were closer to acquaintances, and her own choice in men was "off," I honestly might not take her seriously. This doesn't matter to me. Regardless of how questionable my girlfriends' choice in men is, I still hear them out because they have been right-on in their opinions about my choices. There are many people out there who are, sadly for them, better at helping others than helping themselves.
Intricategirl Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 This doesn't matter to me. Regardless of how questionable my girlfriends' choice in men is, I still hear them out because they have been right-on in their opinions about my choices. There are many people out there who are, sadly for them, better at helping others than helping themselves. I agree with this. I've got one friend that has horrid taste in men. She's constantly getting in new, DEEEEEEP relationships where they are ready to move in with each other after 3 weeks. And she's done dating them in 4. But she's always given me decent advice about who I'm seeing by saying that we don't seem to be on the same page.
Kamille Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I can honestly say that my friend's opinion has zero effect on whether or not I will date a guy. But then, I tend to date outside of my circle. The one time my friends expressed concern about a guy I was seeing, they did so respectfully and absolutely respected my choice to stay with the guy even though they felt some concern. I also don't tend to gravitate towards men that I perceive to be players. I'm a pretty good judge of character, so my friends rarely feel they need to protect me from myself.
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