NG85 Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 For some reason the past week I've been really panicking about my ex. She still crept into my thoughts occasionally since the break up, but I felt I was getting better at moving on from it. But the past week I have dreams of her every night, either of us together or of us getting back together. I have no idea why this is happening, it never happened before in the 5 months we've been apart - I'm beginning to feel almost like I did right after the break up, depressed, irritable, confused... Here's a run-down of the break up: - Together for over 2 years, a lot of which was an LDR - Broke up 5 months ago mutually with no hard feelings, distance was really hard on us. We still spoke every once in a while like we were friends. There was a possibility of reconciliation - She got a new guy only about 3 weeks after we broke up, who lives on the other side of the country. So much for distance being a problem for her... - I immediately went NC after telling her what I thought of this, and how I felt it was unfair - NC for a month. During this time, though, she still reached out to me on Facebook, "liking" and commenting on almost everything I posted - After a month she contacts me on AIM. I call her a few days later, and we chat on webcam - Do LC for about 2 months, only speaking at most once a week - Decided to fade back a bit, went NC for another month - She contacted me on AIM again, then I called her on her birthday, then she called me before taking a vacation. - Went NC after that for a few weeks before texting her for something urgent and work-related - A few days later, I read more into NC when an ex is in a rebound. She IMed me yesterday, but I never answered, not knowing what I should be doing now I can't shake this feeling of guilt about not responding to her IM. We've been on friendly terms, and it made me feel a bit like an a-hole. Sure, it was a one-time thing, but I've been torn about LC vs. NC. Our conversations are very short, and are mostly small talk about our jobs or TV shows. Nothing deep at all. She has initiated contact every time except for about 3 times, so it shows she's reaching out to me. Also of note, 3 of these times she contacted me were when she was either visiting her new guy, or he was visiting her. Why contact me if you're with this awesome new boyfriend who can do no wrong? If she sends a text or calls, I let it go for a day or 2 before calling back. If she IMs me, well, I'm signed onto AIM so it'll look weird it if ignore her, so usually I respond but keep it short. What I've learned about rebounds is that the dumper will keep the dumpee around as an emotional tampon, so she can be emotionally attached to the old person, but be physical and less emotionally involved with the new person, helping them to ease in. Will being in this LC phase where our conversations are really superficial still cause me to be this emotional tampon?
Recommended Posts