turokturok5 Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 (edited) I started dating the girl of my dreams on leavers. I had liked her for so long and it had taken me 6 months to finally get to know her and ask her out. We only dated for 2 months but we had some really special times which i can't seem to forget. I would of started dating her sooner had i not suspected her and my friend had a "thing." Everyone including them told me it wasn't true and i ended up asking her out and we had some great times for 2 months untill she dumped me out of the blue, i was heartbroken. We've been split up 6 weeks and we have had nothing to do with eachother, i still have slight feelings for her but i don't think i could get back together with her, if she wanted to, because i couldn't trust her again. It appears what i suspected was true, that they did have a thing and that they probably had feelings for eachother while i was dating her. My friend became distant as soon as me and her were a couple, he stopped coming to group gatherings and was only interested in "guys nights," he stopped contact with my girlfriend and she was concerned as to why. After about a month and a half he came back into the equation, they began to talk again and she became distant from me and ended up dumping me. 6 weeks since then and im so lost. I was finally getting over it, realised she wasn't for me and was starting up sports and hanging out with mates and going to our "group" things, where she was too and she was always flirting with my best mate, it really hurt me but i didn't show it. They've become so close and my best mate admitted to me that she was going over his house and they had been going out places alone for a while, so im pretty certain they are going to date as they both show signs that they always did and still do have feelings for eachother. Exept my friend promises me they're not going to date as he doesn't have feelings for her and he'd hate it if she had feelings for him because he didn't feel the same, exept he continues to accept it when she invites herself over to his house. I've been going through different emotions. Lately i've had hatred for my ex and felt so betrayed by my best friend. I want NOTHING to do with my ex anymore as i feel she used me to get to him. And im pissed off at my friend for breaking the "bro code" and its annoying because ill be going overseas with him in 2 weeks and i don't want it to be awkward. The more i put the pieces together though, i realised my ex did me a favour by dumping me sooner than later as she had lingering feelings for my friend (although she didn't tell me) and i just don't understand why she said yes. I knew she liked him before i asked her out, he hooked up with a chick on leavers, i looked across at the girl i loved and she looked so upset, i was encouraged that she did like me by her friends and my friends so i asked her out anyway to get it off my chest and she said yes, i was really suprised and even said "wow i thought you liked my mate" and she just laughed and said he was a friend, little did i know it would end up hurting me. I never thought she loved me and i wanted out of our relationship - she just didn't want to be with me and i could tell, but i didn't want to lose her as i loved her. My mate on the other hand i don't get. I know he has feelings for her besides the fact he denies it, i respect that he put them aside for 2 months and watched me date the girl he liked. I felt so betrayed the first time he told me she was going to his house, but it's not my right to keep them apart if they like eachother. I have no idea what to do. I don't want to lose my best friend, i've known him for 10 years, but how can i look at him knowing hes doing all the things i wanted to with the one i loved, i still do have some feelings with her. I can't hang out with our group anymore, because "they" will be there, together. I want to let go but i don't know where to start. Edited March 17, 2011 by turokturok5
Bluebelle38 Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 Hi there I totally understand why you feel the way you do. You have been let down by two people you really cared about. I remember your thread about your best mate telling her he wasn't interested in meeting her for a coffee. I suppose you know now that he obviously was interested. He has every right to date who he wants, as does she, but it really is very low of him not to talk with you about what was going on. You were mad about this girl, but you were only together two months. That is not that long. Your pain will go when you accept that it wasn't meant to be. I've seen some posts on here by people that are still holding on to so much anger after 6 months/years. What does that achieve? it holds you back in your life while the ex is off moving on with theirs. You will meet other women, you will meet someone that wants a relationship with you. This woman did not feel what you did which is why it ended. Only you can know if it is worth salvaging your friendship. maybe the two of them will be a couple? Could you handle seeing that? You don't have to make a choice today or tomorrow. Just take some time out to work on yourself and realise that your life will go on and she wasn't the one for you. Chin up, you will get through this.
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