april315 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 My ex boyfriend and I broke up 4 years ago after dating for a year. Our relationship was really serious and really intense and I do believe he loved me. When we broke up, he ended it. we spent those 4 years apart with other people, mostly not talking to each other. Our relationship did not end well, but last summer we started communicating as friends again. In january, we talked all night and hooked up at a party. After that, we both went back to college and hardly spoke for two months. I tried initiating contact with him, but he was never too responsive. However, the next time I saw him (last week) we was extremely attentive, sat with me and seemed generally interested. Two days later, we hooked up again and had sex. Afterwards, he stayed with me all night and held me. We talked in the morning (not about the hookup) and he kissed me goodbye when he left. Now we are both back at college again, not talking again. However, for the first time since we broke up, he texted me to wish me a happy birthday. What do you think e wants? I am so thrown off by him because when we are together, he seems so into me, but when we are apart, we don't talk. I would say he just wants sex, but with our history and his attitude towards me I just can't believe that. I miss him so much and really want him back. What do you think I should do? Can I bridge hooking up to getting back together?
chris1987 Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I am guilty of this myself it is most likey about the sex. Easy to have sex with some one you know and loved then a stranger. Maybe it could grow in to more but if you don't see each other often then those feelings of ture love go away.
Author april315 Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 is there anything i can do to make it grow into something more?
SingVoice Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I want to ask you this seriously...what have you been doing the last 4 years? Pining after this guy? You should have gotten out there and dated and MOVED ON. This guy just wants sex. I'm sorry. But he does. And if he wanted more...don't you think he would have told you? Or tried to get ahold of you in the 4 years that you were apart? You need to just move on. I'm sorry to be harsh...I know its hard and confusing...but do you really want to let this guy use you for sex? Don't you want to be with someone who WANTS to be with you?? Go NC with him. Don't let him just use you whenever he feels like it. You are better than that.
Author april315 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 I did date other people and so did he... I guess I just never really moved on though. I didn't think about him really for most of our time apart and never even considered reconnecting, which is why it caught me so off guard when he started coming back around. I agree with most of what you say, I just wanted to let you know I haven't been pining over him for four years... but you are right. I don't KNOW for certain that he is only using me but it does seem that way and I have no reason to believe otherwise. I deleted him from my phone today... I guess now I just need to figure out how to get over him...
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