soverytired613 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 I'll try to paraphrase, this is a doozy (I'm bringing it back): Basically, a good friend (two years) ended up sleeping with me, going out to movies, dinner, sleeping over, etc for about 3 weeks before finally telling me she's had a boyfriend the whole time. It crushed me but I wasn't rude to her about it and said over the winter break, I want to know what happens. She asked if I thought she was a bad person, or if I was mad, and I said no, just upset. She said she was breaking up with him and going to see where things went with us when she got back. She then smiled and said that I was amazing for being so accepting. We kept in touch over the break for the most part. After the break, she's now single, but her dad got into legal trouble and she just wasn't emotionally okay, so I didn't ask her out, however, I wanted to be there for her, have her vent to me, etc. Well, I tried texting, chatting, calling, messaging, etc, and she would rarely if at all reply. Finally, after 2 weeks, she said I just want to be friends, so I said fine. I wasn't fine, but like any friend of mine, I would text something I thought was funny, or see how classes were going, anything...no replies ever. She finally sent another message saying stuff like "I don't want to lead you on or anything, sorry if I did," which is bull****, you don't sleep with a good friend for weeks and then wonder if you're leading them on. I lost my damned mind, and started texting like once a day, and sending her a facebook message once a week saying I'm sorry for anything I did to make you ignore me, etc. The first reply was sweet, but the more she ignored me, the crazier I became, and finally her response was a furious "leave me alone" message, saying how she didn't trust what my intentions were and we could not be friends anymore. Her and her friends then began making fun of me on her facebook wall and calling me a creeper, and she de-friended and blocked me from facebook and skype. Well, I (stupidly) asked one of her friends I had gotten close with, a guy mind you, I know girls gossip, what the hell is going on. He is a church leader, and he said he would not repeat anything I spoke to him about, so I figured I could trust him. Well, I blabbed our entire story, but I was not rude about any of it, nor did I say anything mean about her, he is her friend over mine after all. He seemed sympathetic and trying to help. The next day, I got a angry text from her to leave her friends alone, and what the hell was I thinking. So I told her to leave me alone and I'll do the same. I have not seen her in person since January 10th, and I have not spoken to her since February 8th, which is when I got the angry text. Now, I am not ignorant enough to blame myself entirely, she is the one who led me on for weeks and had a boyfriend, and then cut me off completely. However, I took it wayyyyy too far, had somewhat of a mental breakdown (due to my past ex cheating on me, I saw everything happening again and lost it, on top of that, my best friend's brother attempted suicide and it was a very emotional period for me, although I didn't mention that to her because it's simply an excuse for my behavior), and became a total lunatic and pushed my friend so far away that she wants no contact from me ever again. Is there any way to get my friend back, just on talking terms, even if I wait months / years to do so? I've heard both sides already, 1) why the hell do you want her back, she's a bitch, and 2) na, you're screwed, you messed up. I just figure more opinions never hurt. Despite everything, for whatever reason, my life has just been in shambles since the incident, and I feel as if it will only get better when we're at least on talking terms again. Please help, it still hurts every day, and I still dream about her every single night.
Rose T Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I think you're doing really well with NC, even though it hurts like hell at the moment. You know, this is the hardest part, trying to distance yourself from the rollercoaster, but I do think that you are moving in the right direction. The "shambles" really resulted from your relationship with her, the craziness in your life and the hurt is all wrapped up with that, so although it feels like getting her back would restore calm, I'm afraid I believe the opposite. As old Winnie says, when you're going through hell, keep going. Seriously. You can do better that this. You need this time and space to get your head round all kinds of things and NC with this girl is a really good place to be. Just keep going my friend.
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