ulsenheimerak Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Story: I moved to go to Pharmacy school back in august (which is killer hard on me) and my boyfriend never came to visit, or to meet my new friends, hardly called or texted.. I put in tons of effort to drive an hour and a half every weekend to see him (only to wait for him to finish the trucks he had to fix that weekend and explain to his friends and I how tired and grumpy he was) I was the only one calling again only to hear him explain how busy, exhausted, grumpy and stressed he was.. I understand people go through hard patches in their life and I love him like crazy when hes not in his ruts.. but, I initiated a break up after 2 and a half years because he didn't act like he was interested in a relationship and seemed like he needed to be on his own for a while..then he proceeded to say he also wanted to break up because he "didn't know where he was going in life and was feeling depressed, wanted to be single had too much on his plate with work, being about to be kicked out of college, wanting to move halfway across the U.S. being broke.. etc" :/ We both said we care about each other and still love each other, but I know I need to stand on my own two feet for a while and he needs to figure out how to take care of his life before he can take care of a girlfriend too. Idk if we gave up too easily on each other, if it was totally a one sided relationship, if i was putting too much pressure on the relationship to make it unrealistic or what, I feel like I should have just been happy enough with the fact that he was faithful and respectful (which seems to be a huge deal these days). Mutual break ups are SO weird.. I've never had one before- Its like.. you know there's potential there because there was no huge fight, no begging no pleading.. nothing, just confusion, distance and time. No one has the upper hand and neither know where to step next.. who should talk to the other first. Neither gave a clean cut (I just initiated it) and from our break up conversation, neither of us know whether its gonna be for good or not? Should I contact him if I want to, or should I wait for him to contact me, would it be confusing (I'm not even so sure if I would want to?).. Since the "he should approach you/ No contact" thing is typically for the person broken up with, and neither of us were that person. I'm not that hurt, just lonely and I told him I do hope him and I can work out one day when he's ready for a relationship, and he agreed.. so I don't want to completely cut him out? I would love to have him pursue me, it would feel good for once? he said not to be afraid to call if I need/want to, and I said the same to him. Its like I sometimes I want him back.. but I also wonder if I just really want to feel like someone actually wants me for once..
yessy21 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 in my opinion. Dont call him. give him space. let him remember u as a great girl. one day... im not saying now or later.... he will contact u. and u will be so happy with ur own life that u wont even notice hes there.
Author ulsenheimerak Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 I like that.. very positive (: I'm just glad it was a mutual decision.. it could have been a lot worse and heated. maybe I should just leave it alone while we have ended on a good note. We haven't talked for 4 days, neither of us have even tried. (minus a good night text that he has been sending every night since we first met simply saying "good night, sweet dreams and hope you had a good day." habit.. I respond too with nearly the same thing, but thats it... I guess that will eventually have to end too. Not sure why he wants to keep that up but yeah.
Rose T Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Story: I moved to go to Pharmacy school back in august (which is killer hard on me) and my boyfriend never came to visit, or to meet my new friends, hardly called or texted.. I put in tons of effort to drive an hour and a half every weekend to see him (only to wait for him to finish the trucks he had to fix that weekend and explain to his friends and I how tired and grumpy he was) I was the only one calling again only to hear him explain how busy, exhausted, grumpy and stressed he was.. Hi Ulsen! Thanks for your story, well I think you did the right thing. It doesn't sound as if he made any effort from your first paragraph. What's the point of being in a one-sided relationship? You can do so much better. Honestly, there's more to a good relationship than faithfulness and respect. You deserve someone who's going to put as much energy as you are into the relationship, no matter what their personal circumstances. Hope you meet someone nice at Pharmacy school and don't feel bad if the nighttime text messages start to phase out. You should look forward now. Your ex had his chance and you can be happy that you tried to make it work.
Author ulsenheimerak Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 Feels good to have other people's input and a positive light when I'm feeling clouded about things. Hopefully it doesn't get any harder, it just feels so strange that its really over. I'm not really sure how to feel about it.. sometimes I'm sad and others I couldn't care less (is that because reality hasn't set in.. or am I really taking this that lightly because I know how unfair the relationship got?) and its a little scary because I haven't really been single in almost 7 years (woah, I just counted) I've always had someone else right there to swoop in, but this time I don't, so I'm being forced to be totally independent for the first time in a long time.. hopefully I can find someone in pharmacy school who is on the same path as I am and is optimistic about life..
nana841121 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 You feel strange, because there is an void in this relationship that keeps calling you to fill in. we are raised up by dramatic series which caused us to relate breakup with big fight or whatever similar. mutual breakup makes you feel you are in a limbo. up in the air. if he really loves u, he should fight to get you back.
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