Cee Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 My BF is an introvert who led a quiet existence before he met me. Now, he's sucked into a whirlwind of activity - parties, outings, trips, etc. He says he likes it, especially since he wanted to make more friends. It's been so much fun. However, he's getting increasingly tired. Not only does he spend time with me, but also in group socializing. Last night, the BF got irritable with me and now I'm in a funk. We kissed and made up so to speak, but I feel like there's a potential problem. Last night I suggested that he needed to go to his "man cave." But he's not assertive about needing time to himself. He doesn't say he wants to be alone. Should I suggest we spend less time together even though he hasn't asked for that? I hope some introverts weigh in on this. I want to be sensitive to my boyfriend. Thanks.
tigressA Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Suggesting you spend less time together when it's something he hasn't asked for will likely lead to him thinking you want to distance yourself from him/the relationship even though it's not true. What I would do is tell him that he has seemed tired out lately from all your socializing, and remind him that while you love spending time with him, you also want him to feel comfortable telling you when he wants some space and that you won't be upset with him for it. He could just be afraid you'll think he doesn't want to be around you. If he still doesn't assert a need for alone time, you can assume that the need is either nonexistent or that he's still uncomfortable with telling you for whatever reason. If he gets irritable with you again, gently yet firmly remind him that you're not a mind-reader and that if he really wants alone time, he should tell you.
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