shawn923 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Hi all, ive been posting here for awhile, and just last night decided to put my foot down and go full NC with my ex girlfriend who dumped me... were both go to the same college, shes 20 im 22. she dumped me about 2 months ago because i was insecure... i thought it was minor but she wasnt having it. anywho, i pretty much made every mistake possible last 2 months, begged her back, cried, shower her with gifts, and they all failed... she just said "i dont give second chances" even though i thought i was pretty minor problem i could fix. i ended up asking her about the relationship over the weekend and she still was giving me the same answer. "i dont give second chances"... when i ask why, when i can change, she NEVER has an answer... so thats pretty much where our last convo left off. So last night, i erased her off fb, which was a big part of our relationship. and in school i see her randomly A LOT, so im gonna walk the other way and do my best to totally avoid her... SO, am i doing everything right so far? what exactly should be my NEXT step? what should i or shouldn't i expect? Is there anyway this is salvageable?
WTRanger Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 You can keep trying to sift through this turd that was your relationship, but at this point all you are going to do is get sh*t on your hands. There's nothing left to find. She told you twice. Not once, but twice, that she doesn't do second chances. So what about that makes you think that any of it is still salvageable? That's like asking for a refund at a stripclub, next to the "No Refunds" sign. She knows you can't change over night, no one can. You haven't changed since she broke up with you. You are still the insecure, can give cling wrap a lesson or two, thick-skull ex she broke up with. She's got a good head on her shoulders to know that any "change" is just a surface change, and right as rain in a few months you two will be back fighting and breaking up again over the same reason. It's been told to you many times in your many other threads, no one on LS can give you exact steps. All of our situations are different on some level. We can only give you general directions, it's up to your ass to follow and figure out the specifics. So, insert blanket NC statement here. Think about us not holding your hand through every step of the way as your first step towards building maturity, self-reliance, and thinking for yourself. As said before. We can give you directions, but it's up to you to follow and interpret them. Yes, you will get lost. Learn from your mistake, then it no longer becomes a mistake. It becomes a life lesson learned. You are the driver in your life. We're just the nagging in-laws in the backseat.
confusio Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 You shouldn't expect anything but closure. It`s not easy, but try to get the best of the breakup, learn how to fix your insecurity. I lost quite a few girlfriend because I was insecure and its hard to break, but you are still very young, and you are still in school! Enjoy the fact that you can meet girls at school. There is no rush to start dating, but the more you will socialize the easiest it will be to get over her and gain some confidence. Also, try to keep some dignity, even if you did all the mistake. Avoiding her is good, but do it in a way where it not so obvious. That way you show her that you are not changing your life for her and it make you look more secure. Maybe there is a tiny chance that she will miss you, but I wouldnt count on that and I would focus in moving on.
Layzie89 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 You can keep trying to sift through this turd that was your relationship, but at this point all you are going to do is get sh*t on your hands. There's nothing left to find. She told you twice. Not once, but twice, that she doesn't do second chances. So what about that makes you think that any of it is still salvageable? That's like asking for a refund at a stripclub, next to the "No Refunds" sign. She knows you can't change over night, no one can. You haven't changed since she broke up with you. You are still the insecure, can give cling wrap a lesson or two, thick-skull ex she broke up with. She's got a good head on her shoulders to know that any "change" is just a surface change, and right as rain in a few months you two will be back fighting and breaking up again over the same reason. It's been told to you many times in your many other threads, no one on LS can give you exact steps. All of our situations are different on some level. We can only give you general directions, it's up to your ass to follow and figure out the specifics. So, insert blanket NC statement here. Think about us not holding your hand through every step of the way as your first step towards building maturity, self-reliance, and thinking for yourself. As said before. We can give you directions, but it's up to you to follow and interpret them. Yes, you will get lost. Learn from your mistake, then it no longer becomes a mistake. It becomes a life lesson learned. You are the driver in your life. We're just the nagging in-laws in the backseat. Thank you Ranger. I was beginning to feel like I was the only one that felt this way about this kid. Shawn, when you see each other at school, you don't have to AVOID her. Sure, if you know she'll be walking down Hallway A at a certain time, take Hallway B. But If you're both in Hallway A and you see her from a distance...you don't have to go out of your way to move like jump into the nearest bathroom or turn around and walk the other way...we use the term avoid loosely...if you happen to pass each other in the hallway jst don't even look at her. If you do look at her, jst nod, smile and keep walking No need to wave. Definitely don't stop to talk. If she stops to ask you something jst say 'Hey I can't talk right now I'm really busy' smile, and walk away. For some reason I can picture you spotting her from a distance and you dashing to get out of her walkway for the sake of avoidance..which she see's and starts laughing. lol
Author shawn923 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 UPDATE: i totally avoided her so far today... until i was in the lunchroom, and she walked into there cuz she musta left class late. as soon as i saw her we made eye contact for like a split second then i went back to my laptop... as she was sittin down across the room, i was packing up and leaving... i left the lunch room immediately and went to class early NOW... AS SOON as i get to class, SHE texts me! Saying "As soon as I come you leave".... ive yet to reply. it happend literally 10 mins ago. what to think of this???
Layzie89 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 DUDE...this is what you WANT!!! She's noticing that you're doing YOU right now..that you're no longer trying to talk to her or be around her and she's wondering why. DO NOT RESPOND TO THAT TEXT. RIght now, the ball is in your court man. Don't fall for her text!
Author shawn923 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 DUDE...this is what you WANT!!! She's noticing that you're doing YOU right now..that you're no longer trying to talk to her or be around her and she's wondering why. DO NOT RESPOND TO THAT TEXT. RIght now, the ball is in your court man. Don't fall for her text! I thought so too! Im not gonna respond to it... I have basketball practice in about a hour. and she may go in the gym to workout just cuz she knows im there... shes done it before. so ill ignore her there as well... but ill keep updating it, cuz im gonna need this advice lol!
Stilicho Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 haha, nice. this is pretty much exactly whats been happening with me n my ex, but today, after 1 1/2 months of her crumbs, i have went full NC with her, and said my full goodbyes to her.
Author shawn923 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 UPDATE: she just text AGAIN... Saying "ok dont answer" SO im still not gonna reply am i on the right track?
2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 (edited) UPDATE: she just text AGAIN... Saying "ok dont answer" SO im still not gonna reply am i on the right track? Until she's begging you then NO! She is just looking for a response, when she gets it she'll run with it and you'll be left deflated again. Ignore it until she has something constructive to say. If she pulls you up on it just say i've nothing really to say about that, if she asks why you're ignoring her. She won't like it one little itty bit as you've been her cushion for so long. She may hate you but then at least you know where you stand with her, but you shouldn't really care how she feels about you or anything at this time. 2011 Edited March 16, 2011 by 2011
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