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Do I have to be honest on my next relationships?

WiltingReese

By WiltingReese
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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WiltingReese Member

WiltingReese

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I just broke up with my cheating ex BF. He had an affair for 5 months with my friend.

However, I went very low and retaliated by having a ONS with a stranger. This happened while having my ex fooled into thinking I forgave him when all I had in mind was revenge.

 

This is cheating too but I felt so used that I couldn't think straight.

 

Anyway part from what happened, is this something the next new boyfriend deserves to know? Should I tell them about what I did or never reveal this?

 

Has anyone really had a revenge affair or ONS?

ReturnToSender Established Member

ReturnToSender

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If hes your ex then it wasnt cheating. You dont owe him any details on who you sleep with, and if you tell him then yeah, its just a way of twisting with him on an emotional level, but its not like you went behind his back. When people break up..they are single, we dont owe loyalty to our ex's.

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WiltingReese Member

WiltingReese

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He was still my bf when I did. I broke it off afterwards.

ReturnToSender Established Member

ReturnToSender

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Oooh okay. Okay, I just reread your question and realize youre asking if you should reveal all of this to your next boyfriend, I misunderstood, thinking you were wondering if you should tell your ex.

 

Well...personally I wouldnt, but it would be a good heads up to the next guy that thats how you handle issues, by fighting fire with fire. Fair warning, no guy will look favorably on you for that...yes it was bad that your ex cheated on you, but how you handled it isnt exactly anything to be proud of.

TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

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I wouldn't share it. I think some people can understand your anger and hurt that led to your response, but some cannot. Also, there is no positive reason to share this fact. Why would you want to?

 

How did revenge feel?

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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In a casual relationship I would not volunteer the information. But if you get serious then I believe he would have a right to know. Also do not lie if asked.

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WiltingReese Member

WiltingReese

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Why would you want to?
As a child, I've always felt honesty, intergrity and being straight forward is important in any type of relationship whether it's a romantic relationship, open relationship, casual, platonic type or friendship.

It grosses me out when people can't seem to follow basic rules. As for my now ex BF why couldn't he tell me the relationship wasn't working out or that confess when he started having a crush on my friend. I'm sure it started out as flirting at first.

The nerves:mad:.... Well if he cheated why couldn't he have told me about it in my face? Who knows, maybe I might have reconsider it a bit.

But no he decided to keep the affair until and was the typically only sorry he got caught cheater. This completely angers me and I gave everything for a POS (piece of ****).

How did revenge feel?
In regarding to my then BF, I felt so good. It's the feeling as satisfaction and a way of saying I can seek pleasure elsewhere too you bastard, you MF.

However, I now still feel used and dirty. The worst part was that as I was doing this, I didn't even felt any physical attraction towards the guy.

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WiltingReese Member

WiltingReese

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Also do not lie if asked.
I will not lie about my past if asked. I might now sound hypocritical but I can't stand liars or cheaters.
Woman In Blue Established Member

Woman In Blue

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I just broke up with my cheating ex BF. He had an affair for 5 months with my friend.

However, I went very low and retaliated by having a ONS with a stranger. This happened while having my ex fooled into thinking I forgave him when all I had in mind was revenge.

LOL. I laughed when I read this. He deserves anything he got. I'd hardly call it cheating, so quit kicking yourself for it. It was more like a "sting." He sounds like a complete d*ick, either way.

 

And no, you don't have to tell anyone every single detail of every thing you've ever done in your past.

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WiltingReese Member

WiltingReese

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LOL. I laughed when I read this. He deserves anything he got.
It's sad that because of one bastard, I'll now have a hard time trusting a new BF. I might now have to be careful what type of man I'll become involve with. This is will take some time.

I hate my ex BF. I really hate him. I hate what he did. As for my so called friend, may she rot in hell.

Jack & Coke Established Member

Jack & Coke

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If you guys are serious then I'd advise full disclosure. It'd be horriible if it somehow came out way down the road. Easier to get it out of the way early.

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WiltingReese Member

WiltingReese

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If you guys are serious then I'd advise full disclosure. It'd be horriible if it somehow came out way down the road. Easier to get it out of the way early.
I'm not with him anymore. He kept begging me like the dog he is but I simply said get lost. The only reason I was staying with him is so that I can have get even.

 

Since he is my ex b/f so therefore, there is no need for full disclosure.

Edited by WiltingReese
Yelle Member

Yelle

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I just broke up with my cheating ex BF. He had an affair for 5 months with my friend.

However, I went very low and retaliated by having a ONS with a stranger. This happened while having my ex fooled into thinking I forgave him when all I had in mind was revenge.

 

This is cheating too but I felt so used that I couldn't think straight.

 

Anyway part from what happened, is this something the next new boyfriend deserves to know? Should I tell them about what I did or never reveal this?

 

Has anyone really had a revenge affair or ONS?

 

 

I had a ONS before. I didn't really talk about my experience unless he asked specific questions.

 

If you are exclusive with someone and he asked specifically, then be honest, otherwise do not volunteer any details. If you are dating, it is unnecessary to share anything. This will be a secret of your own.

PerpetualMotion Established Member

PerpetualMotion

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In a casual relationship I would not volunteer the information. But if you get serious then I believe he would have a right to know. Also do not lie if asked.

This.

 

The ONS part wouldn't bother me much, if at all. The fact that you cheated, even if it was out of revenge, would though.

 

If someone told me that they once revenge-cheated on an ex-bf and I sensed she really regretted doing it, she could actually be scoring some points with me with that revelation. It would definitely bother me a bit, but I would also appreciate her honesty and most likely see it as a mistake she made and learned from it.

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