Getting dumped so she could date my best mate, feel so lost :(

[roman_pavluchenko]

I really liked this girl. My best mate knew i liked her and encouraged me to ask her out and told me she really liked me too and all her friends said this too. We were on leavers together and the only thing holding me back was the fact that i thought she liked my best mate. She was always touching him, hanging around him, talking to him etc etc. My mate got upset that i thought she liked him and that i wasn't going to ask her out. So one night i was drunk and got pissed off, i was sick of holding back so i just let it out, took her aside and told her how i felt and we started dating. For the rest of leavers my mate seemed upset/distant and for the 2 months i was dating her he didn't come out in a group with us anymore. She dumped me after 2 months out of the blue saying she didn't feel the same anymore.

 

It appears i was right. My mate suddenly became a lot more sociable, he started coming out in a group, he started talking to her again, a lot more though, things went to normal, she was always around him/touching him/talking to him a lot again, only this time i wasn't part of the equation. I was talking to my mate today and he said something about me and this other girl in the group, so i was "what about you and my ex eh?" and he said he was confused, because he doesn't want her to like him as he doesn't like her, but she is going to his house tomorrow. He continued to mention that he would've gone out with her had i not dated her and i mentioned the "bro code" and he replied with "isn't there a certain amount of time before its okay to date your mates ex?" So i was right, he liked her before we even started dating and she had feelings for him, yet she still said yes to me. I knew she wasn't all there during our relationship as she never wanted to do things alone, she always wanted to do things in a group.

 

We've been broken up 6 weeks and now my best mate and my ex, who i still have feelings for are dating, i think they always had feelings for eachother which is why i don't understand that she said yes to me. Already they've gone a lot further than i did with her - shes going to his house, they'll be with eachohter alone. I came to the conclusion that she isn't for me and was getting over it, but this has really set me back. How can i hang out in our group when they'll be there all over eachother? How can i hang out with my best mate when i know he is sleeping with the one i love. My life is completely ****ed and i don't know what to do.

[smudge21]

You need time away from them both, especially this 'best mate' of yours. Hang out in another group or even get away with another friend. Either way, hanging around with them is out and being on your own at a time like this will only make you think about it all more and more, and you'll never get past it.

 

What happened to you sucks big time and it's hard to know really what to say. Keep posting on here though as there's plenty of people who have been through similar and will help you through this.

 

At the moment this girl is still on that pedestal you've put her on (we all do it) and it will take time to get her off it. Follow the no contact rules and stay clear, even on any social websites. Stay strong, things do always get better.