Breayanna Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Just one month past a break up and wondering if I would have made a better decision regarding this guy if I had waited longer before becoming sexual with him. Does anyone have a ball park guideline on how long to date before deciding to be sexual? I am thinking I would have been more objective regarding the red flags I saw in the relationship if I had remained platonic longer.
Ginger Beer Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 I am a virgin and although I was with a girl not long back, we didn't have sex. At the time I thought she was ''the one'' but I'm glad now that I didn't have sex with her. I am 22, I think it depends on the individuals, it's important to me though. I would wait however long it took before I am certain the girl is the right one and it just feels right.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Waiting to have sex with him isnt going to make you any more level headed when you still WANT to be attached to him. Its the desire for the attachment that makes you see past the red flags. But to see the flags, you have to know what youre looking for. So you can withhold sex all you want, it doesnt mean he cant fool you until he gets what he wants. There are plenty of ways to tell if a guy is truly interested in you, or if he just wants sex. but a guy needs to know that you are truly attracted to him to invest in you, so you have to balance. Theres plenty of threads here in the dating forum that will show you the red flags you need to look for. They are usually pretty obvious.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 I would agree with Ginger Beer, it really depends on the circumstances. I got into an argument with a poster here, who said that she would dump the guy if they didn't have sex by the third date. I am one who advocates waiting 2-3 months before having sex. We came to the same conclusion: I was incompatible with a girl like her, and she was incompatible with a guy like me. You need someone who's on the same page as you sexually.
Knittress Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Even if you do everything right there's still no guarantee against heartbreak. Wait until you have a reasonable suspicion that he likes your mind just as much as your body, and then take that leap of faith. He could be a liar and you get crushed. He could be the most amazing man ever... and it still doesn't work out.
Recommended Posts