Teknoe Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 (edited) Guys can be sometimes dense. So any 3rd party/female perspective especially helps a lot. This past Saturday I was at a wedding. Toward the end of the evening, two girls called me out by name. I felt bad because I, for the life of me, could not make out who these two ladies were. It turns out they came to a play I was in last December, and they were the friends of my friend, Amber (I then recalled speaking very briefly with them both after the show). One of them, Tiffany, seemed a smidge extra friendly, more than normal. She made a lot of eye contact, smiled a lot, and her shoulders were squared to mine. I also noticed she made it a point to strike up a chat with me before she had to leave the restaurant. Our mutual friend Amber invited her to my show back in December. I am decently close to Amber. Later that night I texted Amber to tell her I ran into her friends at the wedding tonight. I was a bit shocked when she replied, "Yeah, Tiffany told me she ran into you tonight!" I thought to myself, "wow, that was a fast report on Tiffany's part..." I didn't think TOO MUCH of it, overall, though. Could just be a friendly girl right? Then the very next day, I visited my friend's church. Her name is Linda. She also attended last night's wedding. I texted Linda that morning we should hang out after service, because she was visiting and would be leaving town Monday. So after service Linda tells me "Oh by the way, Tiffany will be joining us. She's coming with a guy friend. But don't worry, they're not together." (Linda and Tiffany are friends obviously.) I found it slightly to moderately peculiar though that my friend Linda would emphasize Tiffany and her guy friend are not a couple. We were at a coffee shop waiting for Tiff and her guy friend. When they came, again Tiff sent me a very positive/receptive vibe. She could only stay about 20 minutes though because she had an engagement later that evening. I found it odd that she could only stay 20 minutes, yet still made it a point to come hang out with me and Linda. I'm not a female expert, but I know when a girl makes herself available to you, that can't be a bad sign. But the kicker came later Sunday night. I got a FaceBook add with a special message from her. It said "Hey ___, it was nice having a conversation with you after hearing a lot about you. I'll see you at the next play? :)" I rarely get special msg's along with my FB add requests. But the part that struck me was "hearing about you a lot." We do have a lot of mutual friends before we met. Still, I find it odd I never heard about her, but she's heard a lot about me. Seems to be positive things, because she is definitely receptive and clearly putting herself out there for me to notice. The question isn't "is she interested" because I think she clearly is, but judging purely by what I've written so far, the question is -- "how interested would you say she is?" Low, curious, moderate, heavy? Maybe I'm wrong though and she's just super friendly. But she doesn't strike me as a particularly gregarious person. What do you guys think? I always think you can tell who likes you by who makes themselves available to be around/with you. So far, she really has done that. It's as though she wanted me to take notice of her as a potential this past weekend. Finally, if you were me, how would you proceed with this girl? Do you take it slow and see how she continues to interact with you? BTW, I think she's cool. Not crazy about her but definitely intrigued because it's nice for a change for a girl to show me interest, rather than the other way around. She's not a 9 or 10, but neither am I. She's not bad. Not the kind of girl I fall for at first sight though, but I like her receptiveness to me and I'd definitely be open if she continues to press the issue. Knowing all this, how would you proceed with this girl if you were me? (for the record, I plan to do nothing. My play is coming up in a month and I'm sure she'll contact me at some point regarding that. I don't want to move too fast like I've done in the past. Gotta be chill, maintain some mystery and not be a pushover. If she really likes me, she'll come to me after all, and continue to make herself noticeable to me). Edited March 15, 2011 by Teknoe
ShatteredReality Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 Don't play it too cool. A girl will only make herself available for too long before she figures you aren't interested and thinks "Well I tried...". It doesn't matter the level of her interest right now...because that's fluid. That can change in a matter of one night with either you or someone else. Ask her out. If you want to date her, ask her to dinner and a movie or bowling or something. Make the date for a week out, then, if things go well, go from there. Make another date another week out with a next day call/text of "Had fun!!" or some such thing. If smothering girls is your past problem don't do that...but certainly don't just sit back and do NOTHING.
Author Teknoe Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 Don't play it too cool. A girl will only make herself available for too long before she figures you aren't interested and thinks "Well I tried...". It doesn't matter the level of her interest right now...because that's fluid. That can change in a matter of one night with either you or someone else. Ask her out. If you want to date her, ask her to dinner and a movie or bowling or something. Make the date for a week out, then, if things go well, go from there. Make another date another week out with a next day call/text of "Had fun!!" or some such thing. If smothering girls is your past problem don't do that...but certainly don't just sit back and do NOTHING. Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, my problem with past girls is I tend to over-communicate, so I come across as too easy, no challenge, always available. Sometimes I get too sentimental for my own good. I guess I'll casually exchange emails with her for now. Keep things light, but ask questions about her. Anyone else with any feedback?
Recommended Posts