lappy1979 Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 Back a couple of months ago we had a party at our house and had a bunch of friends over for a party before my wife deployed. It was a good party with a bunch of friends and thought it was a good time. My so called friend is married too with two kids and the same with me have 2 kids. But come to find out last week from someone who saw something weird that night. One of our friends saw them kiss on the back porch after i had passed out in my bed My so called friend is married too with two kids and the same with me have 2 kids. After I found out and let his wife know too we started to interrogate and investigate ourselves. We went back and looked at the phone records from that night and after he left there were over 80 texts back and forth and a 30 min phone call. Come to find out he sent a pic of his junk too her and there was conversation of hooking up while there were deployed as he was sent to deploy to the same country as her. After all the sides of the story came out, she keeps telling me that she wouldnt have doing anything else. I find this hard to believe if she could kiss someone else while i was in the same house, it makes me think that i wasnt here that she would have done more **** if i wasnt here or the opputnity was there. What makes this all so bad is i am his boss at work, so i cant work with him anymore. So not only am i treated like a piece of crap, i have to tell all my bosses at work why i cant work there anymore or there is going to serious problems. Not only is my relationship messed up but my work life and not to mention we are all friends with all my other friends so i dont have any to talk to about this. Right now i know i should leave her and move on, but i think about losing my kids and them later in life thinking i left them.
spice4life Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 First of all, you don't have to change jobs for anyone. You are the boss so he is the one who should be worried. Secondly, the military frowns upon extrmarital affairs and they both are at risk of getting the boot. So technically you have the upper hand here. No worries.
Bryanp Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Your wife is a real piece of work. She gets caught kissing in your home and your friends see what happens while you were sleeping. The fact that she then texted the guy and he sent her sexual pictures and with her talking back and forth how they should hook up says it all. If the roles had been reversed I doubt she would have been so accepting as you. I agree with you that if you were not at home they certainly would have hooked up. It seems pretty clear that she has no respect for you or your marriage. This is so blatant that I would not be surprised if she has cheated on you in the past as well. I simply do not know how you could ever trust her. I would suggest seeing an attorney just to understand your options. You may also wish to consider having paternity tests done as well. I wish you luck.
theobserver Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 You are fine here my friend. Having seen this happen in the military life many times you will not be looked down on. Do what needs to be done have him dealt with and divorce your wife. Believe me your friends and anyone else will not look down on you at all especially if you keep your head high and get your life back in order after she is kicked to the curve. This woman is poison, this is not something I will forgive she is a disgrace. I feel the that guys wife too but glad she knows what's up I hope she divorces but that's her choice. After you have healed get back out there and after much testing find a good partner one willing to be a good stepmother too. Be civil with your ex too if she wants to continue involvement with the kids.
Author lappy1979 Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 You are fine here my friend. Having seen this happen in the military life many times you will not be looked down on. Do what needs to be done have him dealt with and divorce your wife. Believe me your friends and anyone else will not look down on you at all especially if you keep your head high and get your life back in order after she is kicked to the curve. This woman is poison, this is not something I will forgive she is a disgrace. I feel the that guys wife too but glad she knows what's up I hope she divorces but that's her choice. After you have healed get back out there and after much testing find a good partner one willing to be a good stepmother too. Be civil with your ex too if she wants to continue involvement with the kids. If we got divorced it would be probably joint custody and if I have too move for my job she would probably get custody of them. its hard to prove a unfit mother, and cheating is not considered that unless it adversely affects the kids, which it hasnt since to this point.
imagine Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Get your ducks in a row and expose both him and her. There must be consequences. Expose to the children in an age appropriate way. This behaviour should never be acceptable. Reject it! If you are responsible for an unhappy marriage -fix that too. Priority -adultery first, then the marriage (you do not sound sufficiently shocked that she may be leaving you, am I wrong?) Check out the marriage builder site regarding your marriage improvements, whether for this marriage or the next.
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