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Posted

I often browse self-improvement websites to find pick-me-up boosts for self-confidence, gain understanding of my insecurities, yadda, yadda, yadda, most of the time the ones I find just offer a little help, but rarely something that just really clicks. This one e-book here, on the other hand, was an absolute gem and I thought I'd share it with you guys in case anyone else might benefit from it:

http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/hcontent.htm

 

They also have an amazing article on how to deal with loneliness and rejection in dating which I found super motivating and eye opening:

http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/c-rejct.htm

 

Hope someone finds them helpful :)

Posted

WTF?!

 

My school hosts those websites.

 

Thanks for the links, I'll check them out.

  • Author
Posted

Haha! I didn't even realize it was a university site at first, how strange;I just stumbled upon it.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

IcyBabe,

 

I really want to thank you for the article you posted. I've always wondered why when I meet a woman, things always start out great but when I sense a potential for a relationship, my happy, funny, attractive side goes into hiding and all of a sudden I'm this "guy" that tries too hard.

 

It's because I have think about the future with that person. How were going to date, break up etc etc. In my mind I turn this person into someone special when I really shouldn't be. It then makes me real anxious to be around that person, always constantly trying to think of ways to impress them.

 

Just learning about this has lifted a lot from my shoulders. I'm going to ask this girl out to come out with me and my friends on Saturday. If she says no, then I'll just imagine shes nothing special and carry on with my life

 

Again, Thank you.

  • Author
Posted

You're so welcome, I'm glad it was able to help you too! I agree that the concept of admitting that our happiness does not rely on this potential significant other, or anyone else for that matter is outstanding advice. I found so many eye opening things on that website, sometimes I felt like they were taking the words right out of my mouth.

I do the same thing you do in trying to be that "perfect girl" that I think a potential date is looking for, it's sometimes an automatic thing and it's so frustrating. You should really check this chapter about external and internal control, it's a great one for that specific trait:

http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h61asses.htm

http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h62sourc.htm

http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/h63barri.htm

Posted

I'm reading the articles from the links you shared and they are really helping me understand what I'm going through. Every bit of knowledge I can get is a blessing for me right now. Thank you for sharing. :)

Posted

+ one. Thank you! Great articles, and made me feel better too, needed to be reminded of a few of the basics :cool:

Posted

Thanks for the links. I have been trying to make peace with myself about some things. And it has been difficult. Sometimes you just need some reminders and pointers on what to do.

Posted

Excellent find; I'm gonna give this book a read once exams are over.

Posted

Thanks I ordered the book

  • 1 month later...
Posted

So I finally asked the girl out! She said yes and then didn't pick up her phone when I called :)

 

Back to the gym to get some of the confidence back :cool:

 

Oh and time to re-read the articles posted by icybabe

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