bslchump Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 I have all of my loose ends tied up to move home. All I need to do is say the word and I'll be out of here in a week, so why am I hesitating? I think it's because I know I'll probably never see her again. It's because once I leave, she has the greenlight to fully replace me. Even with all of the family drama ill have to deal with once I get home, at least I'll be around PEOPLE. I won't be sitting in an empty apartment all day. I always feel better when Im not forced to think about her or talk to her, so leaving should be this great, awesome thing, right? If you could all give me some reasons to nudge myself out the door, it'd be much appreciated
Renard99 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 You need it for yourself mate! As you say, you'll be around people and not sitting in an empty apartment. It's something I'm doing now and it sucks. The place no longer feels 'alive' and as 'vibrant' as it was when it was shared it and I think that is reflected in the way you feel. I also think that you and me both need to realise that we will probably never see or speak to our Ex ever again regardless of what we do. I know mine's moving on, throwing herself into her future and becoming the person she has always wanted to be. Regardless of whether I was around or not, her feelings for me have gone, why would she look back? It's a harsh reality and it will continue to to hurt but I think moving out would be a symbolic jump in your own healing and I think one that'd be worth taking. Hopefully, one day soon, I will copy your actions!
Author bslchump Posted March 20, 2011 Author Posted March 20, 2011 Its down to counting days now. That's how soon until I'll be gone. Yet every morning I wake up more bummed out than the last. I'm trying to think of good, healthy reasons why I would want to stay and there just aren't ANY. So I can see her? Bad. So I can constantly be reminded of my life with her? Bad. So I can be around all of our old belongings together? Bad. When I think of reasons I should go back, they are ALL good. I get to see the friends and family who have helped me with all this? Good. I'll have 50 times more good, healthy distractions that I do now? Good. I'll finally be able to shut away everything about her without her randomly coming by the apartment? Good. So after all of this logical thought, I still am sad to be leaving. She hasn't said anything about coming to say goodbye, but I don't think I should even if she wants to. She doesn't deserve comfortable closure on this subject. I don't forgive her and we are not on good terms. I guess no matter how upset it makes me, I will be leaving. Let's hope the good feelings kick in when I am home.
Recommended Posts