eerie_reverie Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 I have decided that I don't want to stay in the city I'm living in. I actually mostly love it here, but I am far away from family and friends and my commute is killing me and I just don't see the point of being so goddam lonely all the time anymore. Not to mention, it's $300 a pop every time I want to see my family, and I spend all my vacation time making sure my kid brother has some clue who I am. Here's my dilemma. With where I'm at in my career, I would be able to apply for a different grade of jobs than the one I have now if I finished aqcuiring some professional designations. More importantly, I'd be able to land a job in a slightly different sector, that I'm more interested in. From this perspective, it makes sense to put moving on hold until I've got ALL my ducks in a row. However, an aggressive estimate for how long it would take me to finish everything, is 1,200 hours. That's almost a full year if I work 25 hours a week (in addition to my full-time job), and that ETA could only change for the worse if things don't go exactly according to plan (for example, if I fail any of the tests I have to take on the first sitting, a reasonably-likely occurrence, that would push back the plan at least 6 months.) I'm 25 years old. My twenties are slipping away as I work myself to a pulp. My personal life is non-existent, but if I'm moving, I feel like it's pointless to invest too much into it. What would you do? 1. Move now to a position comparable to mine in the city I plan to settle down in and hope that once I accomplish all of the above (at a more reasonable pace) I land the job I'm imagining 2. Work ass off for another 1-2 years, then move to a much better job 3. Forget about moving and invest in a personal life here
Kamille Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 I'm currently on plan #2, living in a city that's both far away from my family and my bf, acquiring credentials in my dream job. I fully understand how lonely it can feel, and the temptation to throw the job away. But then, it's just such a great job (when I'm not too stressed out or overworked). I'm probably putting my life on hold for 3-4 years, minimum. So, obviously, to me spending a year or two to get qualifications for a field you love doesn't sound like that much of a long time; it sounds like a worthy investment for a better future. That being said, you are young and there is plenty of time to build the career that you want. What are the opportunities in your imagined field in the city where you want to move? Is there any way you could eventually get the same training in that city?
runner Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 1 - 2 years isn't that long. having been intensely focused and super busy with my current project, the last 3 years have gone by in a blink- which is quite scarey actually. i'd go with number 2; keep your eye on that long-term ball and find some fun things to do in the meanwhile. if you even have number 2 as an option, i'm assuming the task worth your while on some level. PS, -i think option 1 sounds complicated, and i would rather invest in real plan than just 'hope'. and as tempting as it is to just move, it might not be worth it if you ultimately feel like you just moved sideways. -if you honestly feel like your personal future is not in the city you're in now, it's very difficult to change that feeling, even after a string of good days. PPS, -25 is nowhere near "old"; my twenties sucked balls and i'm glad to be out of that struggle. my 30's are way more fabulous so far.
Author eerie_reverie Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 I'm currently on plan #2, living in a city that's both far away from my family and my bf, acquiring credentials in my dream job. I fully understand how lonely it can feel, and the temptation to throw the job away. But then, it's just such a great job (when I'm not too stressed out or overworked). I'm probably putting my life on hold for 3-4 years, minimum. So, obviously, to me spending a year or two to get qualifications for a field you love doesn't sound like that much of a long time; it sounds like a worthy investment for a better future. That being said, you are young and there is plenty of time to build the career that you want. What are the opportunities in your imagined field in the city where you want to move? Is there any way you could eventually get the same training in that city? Thanks for responding Kamille, I always respect your advice. There are plenty of similar opportunities to the city I'm moving to. The job I have now is great, but it's nothing special in terms of the experience I am getting. It's also nothing close to my dream job, but at this point, given how hard I've been working at THIS career, it's pretty safe to say I've abandoned those dreams, at least for the time being. The primary reason for not moving now is to maximize how much money I'll be making 5ish years from now, and so I don't have to switch jobs twice to get into the field I want once I aqcuire my professional designations (which I'd be working on regardless of employer or location). Another reason is that I work for a company that treats its people really well, so I don't want to make an impulse decision to leave, only to find out I had it really good. If it weren't for location, I could see myself being a lifer here (as many people are, which I am told is not so common these days). My parents, even though they would like me to be closer, have been encouraging me to stay where I am. I think my dad is attempting to live vicariously through me, and as things have been going really well for me at my company, he thinks I should stay for as long as I need to to beef up my resume, and then land his dream job in the financial sector making s!htloads of money. However, that's HIS dream, and it's easy for him to dole out that advice when he travels 5 minutes to work and has all his family but me still living in the house. MY dream has never been waking up at 4:30, driving an hour through traffic or snow to an insurance company where I spend 9 hours obsessing over minute calculations to come home to an empty apartment with a clogged bathtub, squirrels in the walls, and an evening of studying a subject I don't even particularly enjoy ahead of me. My life REALLY sucks atm. Of course, I could lay off the work and go have some fun, but that's only going to prolong how long I have to stay here.
Author eerie_reverie Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 1 - 2 years isn't that long. having been intensely focused and super busy with my current project, the last 3 years have gone by in a blink- which is quite scarey actually. i'd go with number 2; keep your eye on that long-term ball and find some fun things to do in the meanwhile. if you even have number 2 as an option, i'm assuming the task worth your while on some level. PS, -i think option 1 sounds complicated, and i would rather invest in real plan than just 'hope'. and as tempting as it is to just move, it might not be worth it if you ultimately feel like you just moved sideways. -if you honestly feel like your personal future is not in the city you're in now, it's very difficult to change that feeling, even after a string of good days. PPS, -25 is nowhere near "old"; my twenties sucked balls and i'm glad to be out of that struggle. my 30's are way more fabulous so far. That is my biggest concern. I have worked so hard and so methodically at improving my life the 3 years after college, I don't want to throw that away on impulse. May I ask whether you're a guy or a girl? I think it's easier for men to put things on hold as there's not as great an issue of their clocks ticking. Given that I really want to get married and have children, isn't it dumb to wait to seriously start dating until I'm almost 30?
runner Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 That is my biggest concern. I have worked so hard and so methodically at improving my life the 3 years after college, I don't want to throw that away on impulse. May I ask whether you're a guy or a girl? I think it's easier for men to put things on hold as there's not as great an issue of their clocks ticking. Given that I really want to get married and have children, isn't it dumb to wait to seriously start dating until I'm almost 30? i am of the male variety. and point taken on the bio clock issue (altho i admit to feeling a bit of that myself these days). but in your case, if it comes down to nesting opportunity vs. building a career, i'd still consider the latter to be the safer bet. i also don't think need to wait for anything as far as dating is concerned- if you're lucky you'll partner up with someone who also sees himself possibly moving in a year or two. being that we're living in an increasingly mobile world, perhpas your prosepects aren't completely hopeless. maybe you'd feel better about your present situation if you moved to a better apartment; somewhere closer to work ?
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