me get my girl back!! don't think NC will work. Solid appreciated.

[hunk]

First of all, this site has been my support for about a week, and i want to thank you guys for being such a group of caring, thoughtful mature people.

 

Ok, where to start here...

 

Basically me and my ex were quite friendly before we started dating, i guess we were friends. She was extremely attracted to me but i didn't really see it and blew her off constantly. I was a dickhead basically. Anyway, we ended up hooking up one night and started seeing eachother, then started dating a few months later. This girl is literally the best woman i have ever met. She is like no other girl i've ever met in my life, and i've had quite a "fruitful" sexual past. She's everything i'm looking for, has the exact same goals as me, exact same opinions on things, same values, just everything works. No drama, nothing phases her, she's extremely laidback and sees things for what they are. Our relationship was effortless. We were like best friends who had heaps of sex. She told me she was in love with me and said it was like nothing she's ever felt before. I need to stress that i never smothered her, i treated her exactly how i'd want to be treated and in a way that meant we had as much fun as we could while i was still protective/caring towards her. I admit at times i treated her more like a friend, but this was the way she portrayed herself, she was always saying she hated "soppiness" etc. I am more of a dominant, outgoing personality type with alot of hobbies, interests passions etc while she is quite shy, reserved and doesn't have many (if any) passions or interests.

 

Gradually she started going off sex. She kept saying it hurt, which i was fine with until about a month of this when i suggested she see a doctor. She ignored it and we basically would go periods of 3-4 weeks at a time having sex about once. No other forms of intimacy whatsoever. This made me distant around her at times because i value sex extremely highly in a healthy relationship, and it made me feel like she wasn't attracted into me as much anymore. I was reluctant to bring it up because it seemed shallow. Typically, this just made it worse by me becoming complacent around her. (Not making much effort to make her feel good, show her much attention etc). We eventually had a talk about it and she said she was losing feelings for me. I finally explained myself and how it was stupid of me to let it get to this point, and she agreed that it was unfair for me not to be having my needs met but she wanted to have a break. I talked her out of it and convinced her things would be different, when in hindsight i was foolish to blame everything on myself and should've seen the request for the "break" for what it really was..

 

Of course, nothing changed. She didn't make effort to show that she cared about my feelings and needs, and me being stubborn just ensured me staying in the same complacent mindset, which just put us back in the same position as before. Being young, (20) and probably too laidback we kind of just skirted around the issue and just let things get worse and worse, to the point where she insisted on a week long break, saying "nothing's changed", and then inevitably we broke up afterwards. She told me she hopes we can still be friends etc.. It's a horrible feeling because it was literally our inability to communicate properly (both our first serious relationship) that culminated in her just going off me gradually and the fact that i did nothing about it sickens me..

 

The problem is, she's not like other girls in the sense that she thinks with her heart. She's very submissive and softly spoken, and severely lacks confidence, which makes me think she's been over the relationship for a long time, but was just too timid and worried to end it. She's very much logical, and i can just picture her thinking "well, i don't feel the same anymore, why waste our time, time to move on" and that's the end of it. She's sort of got the "i don't need men" attitude about her. I honestly can't even picture her being upset right now, never mind texting me or playing mind games. Whereas I recognize the uniqueness of our relationship and see it as something that's not going to come along too often, and that it's worth saving. I find it hard to believe someone can lose all feelings for their first love aswell..

 

Our 2 year relationship culminated in her getting into my car, saying "I think you already know.." and me replying with "yeah, that's sweet. see you around"

 

I sent her a message the night after saying it was stupid and immature to leave it like that, and i basically just told her i wish things turned out differently. I told her the things i wanted to tell her when we were dating but was always too pissed off to say, just the things i admired and respected about her etc. (she's from a family that doesn't show her much appreciation and like i said before she doesn't have much self worth/confidence) I didn't ask/imply i wanted her back whatsoever, just expressed my regret a relationship with such potential had to end like this.

She wrote back saying "that was so nice" etc and that she's sorry for putting me through this and that she hopes we can still be close and for me to talk to her when i'm ready.

 

I've started NC. I'm going to stick it out because i understand how these things work, however i'm just worried that it won't really have an effect on her. I was the one who instigated the closure with that message, i instigated basically everything in the relationship, (ironically not the break up), and i really can't see her making much effort to get into contact with me at any point. She said "take as long as you need, but i'm ready to talk when you are" Which just makes me think she's just over it and not stressing. We're in the same circle of friends and will inevitably see eachother often, i've got no desire to be friends with her as i dont believe in befriending exes. I don't know what to do, i'm thinking about her constantly. I can't even picture her getting along with any other type of guy, to be honest..

 

Any advice here would be deeply, deeply appreciated, i can't think of anywhere else i can get guidance because i feel like my situation is a unique one...

Thanks guys.

[hunk]

sorry about the title, makes it look like i'm very much illiterate.. Meant to say "HELP me get my girl back.. Solid ADVICE appreciated"

[Layzie89]

Interesting read hunk, welcome to LS.

 

You haven't mentioned anything about the possibility of a third party on her side interfering with the relationship which is nice. At least you know this isn't a case of GIGS or anything like that, so you should feel a little bit more at ease. phew!

 

I know, the fact of the matter is still that you two aren't together anymore and it hurts, god damn it hurts. By the sound of it, seems like this breakup is still fresh, still raw. You gotta remind yourself that man...it's a good thing you've decided to go NC as it will give you both the time and space to think about the relationship...each of your faults, as well as strong points. Give it a few weeks NC...allow her to miss you a little. (which, if you are her first love coming out of a two year relationship theres no doubt she will)

 

Sometimes the best thing we can do is do nothing. It's better to do nothing then to keep trying and keep trying...all the while just pushing them further and further away. At least by doing nothing you're eliminating your chances of further error.

 

You seem like you got a good head on your shoulders...just keep calm for the time being. Focus on yourself for now...love you, fall in love with you every day. Your ex seems like a very cool, reasonable girl. Not like many of us LSer's who have rotten, cruel, bitter tasting ex's who ripped our heart out and took a dumb in our open chests. So, you know, you're in a much better position then most of us man. Continue NC, don't fall for the breadcrumbs, and if you happen to talk/bump into her...no relationship talk! Light, fluffy, genuine smile, short and sweet, walk away.

 

keep us updated

[hunk]

Thanks Layzie, your post definitely confirmed to me that i'm doing the right thing by going NC. I'm concerned because we're not talking about an argument or cheating or anything here, and in some ways i wish we were because at least it meant she still had feelings towards me. She's said (before we broke up) she can't help the way she feels, and that some days she really misses me and others she feels like it's best she's not in a relationship. I just hate being in this position. It's proven to me now that women really deep down think with their hearts, because if she had addressed our problems before like i wanted to (logical, reasonable thing to do) then it wouldnt've come to this.

 

I'm just really doubting if it's possible for someone to regain their initial feelings and interest for someone once they've come to the conclusion that they're no long interested...

[betterdeal]

If there's one thing I'be learnt in the past year, it is that not speaking from the heart and not listening to the ones you love achieves absolutely nothing. Nothing.

 

Simple questions and statements can help a couple grow through difficult periods enormously. Using the basic idea of speaking from your own perspective about your own desires and feelings, we can get over so many hurdles.

 

I'm concerned that we're not having sex.

I'd like to have sex more often

Is there another problem you'd like to talk about?

Is there something about me that annoys you?

 

Said in the spirit of genuine expression and genuine enquiry, these sorts of things are good communication. It may end up you both decide to split up anyway, but you won't have had that period of sulking and withdrawing from each other, and you'll have more peace of mind as to what differences you have and so why you decided to let go and move on.

[hunk]

you're completely right betterdeal. Deep down i feel i've always known this, i was just too immaturely self centered and could only concentrate on the fact i wasn't getting sex. I'm ashamed of myself for being too timid to speak what i always wanted. The thing is, is it too late now? She's gone and i can't just send her a message saying i know what i did wrong etc, because it's already got so bad that she's lost her feelings for me, and i feel it'd just push her away even more.

 

I feel like i've just lost the best person i'll ever meet, and it wasn't over fights or disagreements or incompatibility but a stupid, immature inability to just talk to eachother.

[betterdeal]

Tricky stuff. I think you're thinking about it wrong, because you're still unsure about the effect of what you say or do. When you are ready to say and do what you want to and are not afraid of the consequences, that is when you will be ready to start a relationship with someone (could be her or someone else) on a solid base of honesty, trust, communication, dependability, fun and love.

 

You live, love and learn

[hunk]

I'm 100% ready to have a healthy relationship with her, i'm aware entirely of the faults that were in our relationship and i've accepted and see them for what they are and why they occurred. I would explain this to her but as i said, i feel like it's just too late now. She's had so long to slowly lose her feelings for me.

[betterdeal]

I think it's too soon for you and you're projecting that onto her. I think that because you keep talking about her feelings, not yours. This is understandable - we all know that at heart we are good people, so when something is wrong someone else must be at fault.

[Bateman]

As unique as you think your situation is, mine is very similar. Only differences is that we dated for a year and this was not her first relationship. She got to a point where she lost feelings for me and left me. I stayed in contact with her which killed me because I was still in love. Then finally told her how I felt and have been NC for 1 1/2 now. I kind of shut down like you did, and she ended it eventually. Now there;s pretty much nothing else to do other than move on. But I can't stand the feeling like she has already moved on, although I would have no idea.

 

It's a two-way street though. You may be ready for a new relationship but it does not matter to her. She's lost her feelings which makes it much harder to get her back. If there's nothing there, then there's nothing there. You can only try to live a life without her at this point. But never say never...

[pieturli]

First of all, this site has been my support for about a week, and i want to thank you guys for being such a group of caring, thoughtful mature people.

 

Ok, where to start here...

 

Basically me and my ex were quite friendly before we started dating, i guess we were friends. She was extremely attracted to me but i didn't really see it and blew her off constantly. I was a dickhead basically. Anyway, we ended up hooking up one night and started seeing eachother, then started dating a few months later. This girl is literally the best woman i have ever met. She is like no other girl i've ever met in my life, and i've had quite a "fruitful" sexual past. She's everything i'm looking for, has the exact same goals as me, exact same opinions on things, same values, just everything works. No drama, nothing phases her, she's extremely laidback and sees things for what they are. Our relationship was effortless. We were like best friends who had heaps of sex. She told me she was in love with me and said it was like nothing she's ever felt before. I need to stress that i never smothered her, i treated her exactly how i'd want to be treated and in a way that meant we had as much fun as we could while i was still protective/caring towards her. I admit at times i treated her more like a friend, but this was the way she portrayed herself, she was always saying she hated "soppiness" etc. I am more of a dominant, outgoing personality type with alot of hobbies, interests passions etc while she is quite shy, reserved and doesn't have many (if any) passions or interests.

 

Gradually she started going off sex. She kept saying it hurt, which i was fine with until about a month of this when i suggested she see a doctor. She ignored it and we basically would go periods of 3-4 weeks at a time having sex about once. No other forms of intimacy whatsoever. This made me distant around her at times because i value sex extremely highly in a healthy relationship, and it made me feel like she wasn't attracted into me as much anymore. I was reluctant to bring it up because it seemed shallow. Typically, this just made it worse by me becoming complacent around her. (Not making much effort to make her feel good, show her much attention etc). We eventually had a talk about it and she said she was losing feelings for me. I finally explained myself and how it was stupid of me to let it get to this point, and she agreed that it was unfair for me not to be having my needs met but she wanted to have a break. I talked her out of it and convinced her things would be different, when in hindsight i was foolish to blame everything on myself and should've seen the request for the "break" for what it really was..

 

Of course, nothing changed. She didn't make effort to show that she cared about my feelings and needs, and me being stubborn just ensured me staying in the same complacent mindset, which just put us back in the same position as before. Being young, (20) and probably too laidback we kind of just skirted around the issue and just let things get worse and worse, to the point where she insisted on a week long break, saying "nothing's changed", and then inevitably we broke up afterwards. She told me she hopes we can still be friends etc.. It's a horrible feeling because it was literally our inability to communicate properly (both our first serious relationship) that culminated in her just going off me gradually and the fact that i did nothing about it sickens me..

 

The problem is, she's not like other girls in the sense that she thinks with her heart. She's very submissive and softly spoken, and severely lacks confidence, which makes me think she's been over the relationship for a long time, but was just too timid and worried to end it. She's very much logical, and i can just picture her thinking "well, i don't feel the same anymore, why waste our time, time to move on" and that's the end of it. She's sort of got the "i don't need men" attitude about her. I honestly can't even picture her being upset right now, never mind texting me or playing mind games. Whereas I recognize the uniqueness of our relationship and see it as something that's not going to come along too often, and that it's worth saving. I find it hard to believe someone can lose all feelings for their first love aswell..

 

Our 2 year relationship culminated in her getting into my car, saying "I think you already know.." and me replying with "yeah, that's sweet. see you around"

 

I sent her a message the night after saying it was stupid and immature to leave it like that, and i basically just told her i wish things turned out differently. I told her the things i wanted to tell her when we were dating but was always too pissed off to say, just the things i admired and respected about her etc. (she's from a family that doesn't show her much appreciation and like i said before she doesn't have much self worth/confidence) I didn't ask/imply i wanted her back whatsoever, just expressed my regret a relationship with such potential had to end like this.

She wrote back saying "that was so nice" etc and that she's sorry for putting me through this and that she hopes we can still be close and for me to talk to her when i'm ready.

 

I've started NC. I'm going to stick it out because i understand how these things work, however i'm just worried that it won't really have an effect on her. I was the one who instigated the closure with that message, i instigated basically everything in the relationship, (ironically not the break up), and i really can't see her making much effort to get into contact with me at any point. She said "take as long as you need, but i'm ready to talk when you are" Which just makes me think she's just over it and not stressing. We're in the same circle of friends and will inevitably see eachother often, i've got no desire to be friends with her as i dont believe in befriending exes. I don't know what to do, i'm thinking about her constantly. I can't even picture her getting along with any other type of guy, to be honest..

 

Any advice here would be deeply, deeply appreciated, i can't think of anywhere else i can get guidance because i feel like my situation is a unique one...

Thanks guys.

 

My ex also lost her feelings for me. It's tough, but you'll get through the breakup. My ex has recently contacted me and is regretting her decision to break up with me, but thats a whole other kettle of fish so no point getting into that.

 

But as I said, my ex also said that here feelings towards me had waned, we had a short break to give her time to think, we then got back together because she wanted to try again, didnt work, and she left. I felt like a metric ton of ****. But belive me, you will feel better. I know you don't believe me because I didn't believe it myself when I first got dumped, but I've been feeling good, even before my ex contacted me and said she missed me.

 

Just offerin some kind words:)

[hunk]

Thanks for the kind words guys. Pieturli, how and when did your ex start to contact you? did she say she missed you and that her feelings were returning because of absence? I'm having a hard time coming to terms with her literally not having any feelings for me after such a positive and promising initial relationship. I guess the best thing is to just leave it completely, if it was meant to be she'll realise (probably after a few months of partying and whatever) we had something good and worth trying again.

Any advice on how to handle being around her? we're in the same group of friends and will be going out for drinks etc often, so it's not like i can just ignore her

[IfiKnewThen]

If there's one thing I'be learnt in the past year, it is that not speaking from the heart and not listening to the ones you love achieves absolutely nothing. Nothing.

 

Simple questions and statements can help a couple grow through difficult periods enormously. Using the basic idea of speaking from your own perspective about your own desires and feelings, we can get over so many hurdles.

 

I'm concerned that we're not having sex.

I'd like to have sex more often

Is there another problem you'd like to talk about?

Is there something about me that annoys you?

 

Said in the spirit of genuine expression and genuine enquiry, these sorts of things are good communication. It may end up you both decide to split up anyway, but you won't have had that period of sulking and withdrawing from each other, and you'll have more peace of mind as to what differences you have and so why you decided to let go and move on.

 

this is so true, imo. i would open up dialog again. and make it straight forward and mature. i know everyone say N/C, but i am a firm believer in try all you can and then go N/C. i am not speaking of stalking. subtract the s and it's called talking.

[Eddie Edirol]

Women generally dont move backwards Hunk, especially when they lose feelings for you. Youre situation is pretty common actually. All you can do now is leave her be and make sure her and your friends dont see you sulking about it. Stick to NC like youre doing and make sure after you heal, that whatever mistakes you think you made, you dont do it again. if you think you know why she lost feelings for you (other than the sex problem I assume) hopefully you can use that knowledge.

 

Do you think possibly that since you hurt her during sex, that was the beginning of the turnoff for her? Maybe it started there and went downhill?

[hunk]

I definitely think it was a contributor. I'm almost certain actually, she went off sex and consequently i just kept shutting down because there wasn't any attempt by either of us to fix the problem. i guess you really don't know what you've got until it's gone. should i just go back to basics, and just be the person she fell in love with? not making any direct attempts to get back with her or anything, it's just i feel we're going to be around eachother quite alot, we have extremely compatible personalities and maybe if i just be myself without fully befriending her those old feelings might come back after time.. thoughts?

[betterdeal]

Why not just be yourself for the sake of it? She wants space, and you could do with some too. There are three entities here: you, her and the relationship you have with each other. Respect all three and all three will benefit from that.

[Eddie Edirol]

I definitely think it was a contributor. I'm almost certain actually, she went off sex and consequently i just kept shutting down because there wasn't any attempt by either of us to fix the problem. i guess you really don't know what you've got until it's gone. should i just go back to basics, and just be the person she fell in love with? not making any direct attempts to get back with her or anything, it's just i feel we're going to be around eachother quite alot, we have extremely compatible personalities and maybe if i just be myself without fully befriending her those old feelings might come back after time.. thoughts?

 

 

heres how you make yourself more attractive...

 

You act like you dont want/need her.

You are having a better time without her

you visibly look and act more attractive

you dont need to talk to her, and if you do, you blow her off to talk to someone else.

When youre popular, and other women want you, you make yourself more attractive in general.

 

I re-iterate this: you most likely wont get her back, women dont move backwards, especially when they can remember what repluses them about you.

[hunk]

Thanks for the advice Eddie. This is going to sound kind of bad, but i literally already am/do all of those things you listed.. I'm naturally sort of a dick around girls, i never really show much emotion/care towards them and am very sociable. I have a bit of a reputation, not that that's something to be proud of i guess. I'm above average in the looks department, work out seriously 5 days a week and have been for the past 3 years (have done many paid model shoots) and i admit in the least conceded/vain way that i receive ALOT of attention from women. I surf every day, DJ at a local club every week, am part of an MMA gym, write music, have many many interests/hobbies and i believe i really have alot of qualities that women are drawn to.. I don't have much time to dwell on her, but when i come home and am by myself i just get hit with that horrible sense of loneliness and i end up thinking where she is etc..

I don't think i'll have a problem blowing her off etc because our personalities are quite different, i'm very loud/dominant and she's quite shy. I guess i need to make her jealous without making it look like i'm really trying.

 

I don't want to sound like a bigheaded moron here and correct me if i sound wrong, but i really don't think it's a matter of her thinking "the grass is greener", i'm almost positive she just became bored and tired of putting up with my complacency, and eventually just started losing feelings because i wouldn't show mine to her. I didn't smother her, we never argued about things and i can't really think of things i did to turn her off me. Things literally only started going downhill when the sex stopped. She's too shy to say to me "i feel like things are getting boring, get your **** together", and would've been holding it inside her hoping for things to get better, but they didn't and she just fell out of love.

 

I'm going NC for the long haul, i already regret sending her that message the day after the breakup even though it was probably necessary. It's been 6 days so far. Thank you to everyone so far for the advice, anymore advice/thoughts appreciated. i'll keep you posted. I want her back and i'm going to get her.

[betterdeal]

Why don't you like opening up emotionally?

[hunk]

I can open up emotionally, it's just in this situation and in my current position i don't think it's gonna get me anywhere. I should've opened up emotionally when the relationship started getting boring, but it's too late for that now. I've learnt the lesson and am dealing with the repercussions eh..

[betterdeal]

Sure, we all can. The point is, you didn't.

 

When you find yourself saying, "would / should / could have", immediately recognise all that really means is "didn't". Then decide that what you "will / can do" as a result.

 

Understanding why you didn't (and taking corrective measures, seeking advice - like you are now - and plain old practice) is how you grow as a person.

 

So ask yourself, why didn't you?

[pieturli]

Thanks for the kind words guys. Pieturli, how and when did your ex start to contact you? did she say she missed you and that her feelings were returning because of absence? I'm having a hard time coming to terms with her literally not having any feelings for me after such a positive and promising initial relationship. I guess the best thing is to just leave it completely, if it was meant to be she'll realise (probably after a few months of partying and whatever) we had something good and worth trying again.

Any advice on how to handle being around her? we're in the same group of friends and will be going out for drinks etc often, so it's not like i can just ignore her

 

Ouch I haven't had to see my ex that much, but I'd say just try to be cool. If you don't feel too much like talking to her, then don't. I went completely NC, with the exception of a merry christmas text to her, and getting one back, so I don't think I'm in too much of a place to comment:P

 

As for my ex contacting me? Well she just texted me after a long period of not talking just to see how I was, we chatted for a long time and after said chat, she told me that she missed me. My situation with my ex has definitely not worked itself out yet, so it's hard to say for sure what its all about. She told me that she is very confused, about how I felt like nothing more than a very close friend when we broke up, and now suddenly she misses me as a boyfriend. So my situation is way wide open right now, nothing is certain:P

 

The fact that you have to see her in groups makes your situation different from mine, I was able to go no contact fairly easily. NC is tough at first, but it really works. When in NC, you are slowly getting over her, and if she has indeed made a mistake, NC is when she will start missing you. So its kind of a double whammy, takes out two flies with one swat:D If she starts to miss you, you can talk and see what happens. If she doesn't, your still moving on the whole time. Win-win:D

 

Anyhoo, I understand that having to see her because you share friends is going to be difficult, but I would suggest trying to keep the contact to a minimum. I would also try to slowly put away the thoughts of getting back together, trust me its for the best. It's not going to happen immediately, I know I still pined after her for a while, but then I noticed that I was thinking about her less and less. You will get over her, and eventually, maybe even be friends with her again, if thats what you both want. Personally I consider that a breakup is 100% dealt with once you can be on friendly terms with your ex. I think the notion that you should eternally hate your ex is incredibly childish (except if there was violence or something like that, obviously).

 

Phew that was longer than I had planned. Anyways, I hope it helped a little!

[hunk]

Thanks so much for that pieturli. Awesome input. I'm seeing her this saturday at a party and i plan to acknowledge her but just keep conversation to a minimum and concentrate on being around other groups. When looking at our relationship in hindsight, i really do think she will/is missing me. We had a particularly unique connection and when i really think about it she isn't the type to just move on so fast, given her personality. That being said i agree completely with your suggestion to just let go of all hope, and for the time being that's what i'm doing. If it was meant to happen, she will realise and things will work themselves out, without any influence from me. I'm going camping with an old FWB and some others next weekend which should be fun...

[hunk]

I sent her this message the day after we broke up (no contact whatsoever since), any thoughts? I've got mixed feelings about it but all in all i'm glad i sent it because it shows I cared about her but i'm not throwing away any dignity, and coupled with this no contact it might help her think about/miss me rather than if we'd just left it with an awkward "see you around".

 

****,

I don’t wanna leave things how we have so far because it doesn’t feel right. I'm not trying to change your mind about anything or beg or whinge or any of that **** at all, and I wanna call you but I respect your space. I just feel like there's things i never really got to tell you that I feel like i need to, regardless of us being done. There's no point venting to the boys cos theyre idiots, and I’d rather you know what im thinking. We both know it was obvious why things weren't working, (i knew things were getting boring but i kept ignoring it) so don’t think I wasn’t aware of it or was cool with it or anything.

I want you to know how much you mean to me. you're a special girl and I don't think you get told that enough. You take everything in stride and see everything for what it’s worth, and that’s what I admire and adore about you. You've got one of the biggest and kindest hearts i've ever met in anyone. I think deep down you probably already know this, and if you didn't then i hope you believe me.

I valued us so much and i was always proud to have you so close to me, I wont even say that we were good together cos it sort of goes without saying.

You know all i want is to have fun, i don't want any serious heavy depressing **** and arguments, we’re young and it’s just pointless and a waste of good time. Basically that's why it’s hard to blow off something like this, cos i know that we’re so good together, I haven’t felt a connection to anyone like the one I have with you before. It feels like such minor stuff led to this happening, and that we could've easily overcome it if we'd just talked about it before it got to this. Like I said I’m not trying to guilt you or anything, i just need to tell you all this because it's a **** feeling just keeping it in. I’ve been in your position and its the worst having someone trying to convince you things when you’re over it, you probably can’t help see it like this but trust me that’s not what I want. I don’t mind/expect you to write back cos I’m not really asking you anything, I just needed to get all this off my chest for myself. Xx

[pieturli]

Thanks so much for that pieturli. Awesome input. I'm seeing her this saturday at a party and i plan to acknowledge her but just keep conversation to a minimum and concentrate on being around other groups. When looking at our relationship in hindsight, i really do think she will/is missing me. We had a particularly unique connection and when i really think about it she isn't the type to just move on so fast, given her personality. That being said i agree completely with your suggestion to just let go of all hope, and for the time being that's what i'm doing. If it was meant to happen, she will realise and things will work themselves out, without any influence from me. I'm going camping with an old FWB and some others next weekend which should be fun...

 

That I definitely think is the best option:) Desperately trying to win her back doesn't work, so moving on is the best thing to do, and if she starts to miss you, she'll let you know:)