Slysteal Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 Well here is my story, may be long but please bare with me. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. We started seeing each other in high school while I was a senior and her a junior. I stayed in the area going to community college and she stayed in high school where our relationship would take a turn. She graduated, and was offered a full ride for sports into a far away school. Over 5 hours in a plane, so we have tried the long distance thing and the first semester was extremely tough, and we both agree that we rely on texting way too much. When we fight, fights are prolonged because of this stupid texting we do. But we made it through till thanksgiving where she became very hard to talk to and very negative about alot of things. We were on the verge of breaking up before thanksgiving and suprised me at home. Being angry about the whole situation before, I didn't know how to react. So i took it slow, and the weekend went by so fast she left super early. After leaving she said "You know even if we were broken up and i was in your situation I would have been ecstatic to see you". Winter break comes along and it was going good until I stupidly put other things in front of her like my family, (During Christmas time) and pushing her away stupidly. We resolved that issue 2 weeks prior to her leaving for school for the next semester. In the month of February I started school, also playing a sport and 6 classes taking up most of my time. I go to school at 8 and come home at 6 and study right away. One night of the week im at school for 12 hours straight. She doesn't realize the amount of work I am putting into school, and the amount of talking decreased substantially. One week I was diagnosed with the stomach flu, missing a game and many practices. I was in the bathroom the whole day and did not have the energy or patience to talk with anyone. I could tell I was being short and distant from her but she never asked me why are you not talking to me as much? She started the same thing as me not texting me before a practice saying hey i love you or calling me before bed as usual. THe only reason we brought up the situation was when I brought it up and **** hit the fan. I accused her of seeing someone else and she blew up and we both said things we did not mean. Two days passed and she ended it with me and I was able to stay strong for almost a week and a half. I knew she comes home soon, and figured out she comes home this thursday. I really want this to work and I have such a positive light when it comes to this relationship knowing it will work. I sent her a letter expressing my feelings and a journey CD going along with it. I called her yesterday morning saying that she needs to check her mailbox. She did not call back and I texted her saying, are you just going to ignore me now? And we texted back for almost 6 hours with me calling almost every hour in between with no answer. I asked her why dont you pick up the phone? And she says that everytime we talk on the phone I give in, I want to stay strong, I know this wont work. The only thing that has ever made her negative is her friends at home or her parents who don't know the whole story. Basically she broke up with me because we never talk anymore and there is no more relationship. Even though we both still love and miss each other. She comes home on Thursday. What i am trying to get at is...Should I surprise her when she comes home with flowers? Both times she has come home I haven't been able to surprise her and actually show how much I care and this time I want to make it right. I know if we actually talk in person we can resolve this issue but I feel she is being so immature about it all and is taking the easy way out. Any criticism or advice is helpful.
creighton0123 Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 Text messaging is the death of relationships. Put down the cell phone. Stop texting that which needs to be said over a verbal conversation. If you want to be with her, you can try to surprise her. I'd suggest something less cliche than chocolates or flowers, though. You should do something with her that is unique and private for you - to show her that you want to communicate and be open.
folieadeux Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 ^^ Agreed...texting sucks...try not to ever talk about serious issues that way if at all possible. The pair of you have alot going on right now and can just be taking out your frustrations out on one another because you miss each other...only you'll be able to tell. I agree with Creighton, if you want to surprise her...definitely shoot for something that is unique to the pair of you and that will really mean something special.
Author Slysteal Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 Thanks for the replies. I am trying to stay super positive about the whole thing but I still have that doubt of rejection in my mind. Hopefully she doesn't let the shield around her heart speak for her actions and lets her heart do the work. Thanks for the ideas. Since we talked about going to the zoo before I bought her a stuffed animal of an elephant.
Author Slysteal Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 After a month of waiting and 2 weeks of replaying how this suprise would go, I definitely did not think it would go like this. She arrived at home around 9 and I told her sister to tell her to come outside, and she told her sister that she knew I was outside and wouldn't come outside. I am in shock.
folieadeux Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Sorry to hear about that...but she took the cowardly way out. If she didn't want to be in the relationship anymore, it's common courtesy to just own up and end things and not play stupid games. I'd definitely not waste any more time on this.
Author Slysteal Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 Thanks for the help folideaux. Now I just don't know what to do my heart still cries out her name and I want to bury it but I cannot. I feel like I still must do more to fight for this relationship. She said she sent me a valentines day card and I never got it until this Tuesday. It said things such as: 'i can't think straight without you'. 'We have grown so much together and although last week was hard we made it through so the only way we can go now is up'. 'Even though I live across the country I can't comprehend what I would be without you'. What has changed her thinking so drastically, I am in shock my girlfriend of almost three years can simply say im not coming outside to see him. Has she been full of lies this whole time or has it been someone else and she just can't bare to see me?
folieadeux Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Should could be seeing someone else, she could have just changed her mind...it could be any number of things. I realize you're hurting right now and that some sort of closure either way is what you're seeking but sometimes, you just don't get it...and it isn't worth stressing yourself out trying to get it either. What she did was just downright inexcusable. After waiting upwards of a month to see her, she can't even go outside her own door to acknowledge your existence? Dude, I'm mad for you. That should be all the fuel you need to just let this one go.
Author Slysteal Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 You are right. I need to get mad about the situation instead of letting this take control of me. Thank you so much folideaux
folieadeux Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 No problem, I hope you're doing better today. No one deserves to be treated this way and I'm sorry you have to go through this.
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