Missing him while he's with someone else

[sunshinebaby]

Hi. I joined this community bc I really need some good advice. My friends always say, move on. He shouldn't be treating you like this. But I love him so much and just wish he could show me that back.

 

Let me start off by saying me and Dustin had been dating for almost 1 and a half years. I made him a facebook during christmas time (so it would say i was in a relationship with Dustin, how ironic) and he started using it to connect with old friends from highschool. he's 23. So he started messaging this girl and all of the sudden his password changed- but I didn't bring it up bc i felt it would be weird. But it did upset me.

 

We had been arguing a lot lately and I would sometimes threaten to break up with him and tell him we were too different to be together. (Him, more of a going out person and me more of a stay in for one on one time person) but he would come back with we're too good to break up. I would die without you, blah blah. Anyway we would make up.

 

But then one day it got to the point where he suggested space and i said space, that's just breaking up. lets make it final.

 

I really regretted it and tried to get back with him all week. we cried he asked me to leave we had intimate sex once then he said we shouldn't've..

 

But it was really hard for me to just stop talking to him. We talked 24/7 while I was in class and him at work, too. So I tried talking to him, even made him meet me at the bar once. But it was awkward and I left.

 

Soon I tried to give him that space he said he needed. (he had said he didn't feel capable of being intimate at the moment) and then sunday i cracked and started panicking bc he wouldn't respond.. then he said mean things like we have no associations with each other and he had no desire to be with me.

 

I texted him once more bc I was drunk.. and after that I have not talked to him since. It's been almost two weeks. Now I go on Facebook and find that he has been in a relationship with that girl he was messaging on facebook exactly one week after we broke up.

 

I love him so much and I keep praying that he'll miss me and realize this new chick isn't for him.. but it's so hard to keep strong sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I'm being too optimistic.. I even went to a psychic and she said he would try getting back with me and my summer would be filled with love and happiness and I took that to mean we would get back together. It gave me hope. Now today I find out that he's been in a relationship with her.. I just really need help.. Sorry it's so long

[agirlhere]

Hi. I joined this community bc I really need some good advice. My friends always say, move on. He shouldn't be treating you like this. But I love him so much and just wish he could show me that back.

 

Let me start off by saying me and Dustin had been dating for almost 1 and a half years. I made him a facebook during christmas time (so it would say i was in a relationship with Dustin, how ironic) and he started using it to connect with old friends from highschool. he's 23. So he started messaging this girl and all of the sudden his password changed- but I didn't bring it up bc i felt it would be weird. But it did upset me.

 

We had been arguing a lot lately and I would sometimes threaten to break up with him and tell him we were too different to be together. (Him, more of a going out person and me more of a stay in for one on one time person) but he would come back with we're too good to break up. I would die without you, blah blah. Anyway we would make up.

 

But then one day it got to the point where he suggested space and i said space, that's just breaking up. lets make it final.

 

I really regretted it and tried to get back with him all week. we cried he asked me to leave we had intimate sex once then he said we shouldn't've..

 

But it was really hard for me to just stop talking to him. We talked 24/7 while I was in class and him at work, too. So I tried talking to him, even made him meet me at the bar once. But it was awkward and I left.

 

Soon I tried to give him that space he said he needed. (he had said he didn't feel capable of being intimate at the moment) and then sunday i cracked and started panicking bc he wouldn't respond.. then he said mean things like we have no associations with each other and he had no desire to be with me.

 

I texted him once more bc I was drunk.. and after that I have not talked to him since. It's been almost two weeks. Now I go on Facebook and find that he has been in a relationship with that girl he was messaging on facebook exactly one week after we broke up.

 

I love him so much and I keep praying that he'll miss me and realize this new chick isn't for him.. but it's so hard to keep strong sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I'm being too optimistic.. I even went to a psychic and she said he would try getting back with me and my summer would be filled with love and happiness and I took that to mean we would get back together. It gave me hope. Now today I find out that he's been in a relationship with her.. I just really need help.. Sorry it's so long

 

Please dont wait around for him, and I am telling you this because I did that. I waited. He did come back, but because of the hurt he caused me with the break up (Though I swore to myself if he just came back I would forgive him and get over it so we could move forward together)

It is not possible to be hurt like that, and move ahead healthily with the person who hurt you. You need to heal completely....NO CONTACT.

If he comes back down the road, you will be in a good place. If he does not come back...you will be in a good place.

If you guys even tried to get back together before you have healed and dealt with this, I promise you the relationship will not work. Please listen to me. I took the man back because I loved him dearly....we fell apart 6 months later because I was not healed and I carried resentment, hurt and insecurities forward. trust me...do not wait...move forward and find your happy place, only then will you be able to have a good relationship with anyone...maybe even him again at that point.

Good luck, I know it hurts!

[sunshinebaby]

Well you see we've never broken up before like this. Right now we're not speaking or texting or anything- but I do see his and her updates on Facebook... I truly believe that if we got back together our relationship would be stronger and better than ever. I am so willing to work with him- it's just the fact of getting him to realize that. I don't want to come across as desperate anymore but at the same time I don't want him playing daddy with some girl and a kid who isn't even his.