Jondwnr Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 "The story of me and Lyndi" So we were dating 11 months and broke up with my feb 11 2011. *I cheated on her in December and we got past that that night. Then a week before the superbowl she found her friend who was borderline gay and she knew for 4 years, she told me she never liked him and who was out of her life since the summer. She was spending days with him and she claims she is her bestfriend now and one night she stayed at his house and didn't let neither her parents or me know she stayed. The next day her mom texts me and asked if I know where she is at? I say no, then that morning she finally texts me saying sorry and I called her and she was crying up a storm and I was just shrugging off her tears cause I was mad. So later that day I forgive her and I call her up like I usually do at night and she says she is with "him" again and that she coincidentally saw him at the library. So I get mad again, but I don't make a big deal about it. Now it's the Saturday before the superbowl and I'm hanging with my friend at the mall and she texts me and I get annoyed with her cause I'm trying to spend time with my friend and eventually we argue and I say I'm going to get girls numbers and I don't talk to her until that Monday. So she told me beforehand she was going to his house to watch the superbowl and she wanted me to go but I said I'd rather watch the superbowl with my friends. And I don't think about talking to her cause I was watching the game and drinking all day. So it's the Thursday after the superbowl feb 11. I finally change my relationship status to "in a relationship" and she texts me and asks y I did that. I said I know u wanted me to before and I didnt want people to know my business but I don't care now I love u. And then she says I have doubts about us, and I am supposed to miss u? Cause I haven't this week. She also says she is dealing with a lot with her mom nagging her and her grandfather dying in her house and she has bills she can't pay cause they have been giving her 1 day a week. So I get all emotional and crazy for 3 weeks up until about a week ago. During the craziness, I cried on the phone to her and begged and pleaded saying I would change. I told her all the plans I had for us and she said she needed time to think and during that time she was would hangout with that guy and eventually she said she was done with me and I found out she is going out with him. i was talking to her mom about everything and her mom reported back to her cause her mom wants me back in her life, and then she would get pissed at me. I was told her boyfriend was a bad guy and does drugs and sells them so i got him to sell me drugs but she said i don't care he said he is gonna stop smoking for me and he doesn't deal. And she doesn't do drugs and hates them herself. And cause of the tension in her house she moves to his house for a week or so. Then she says she doesnt want to lose me and wants to he friends so I give her an ultimatum saying either marry me or I'm gone from ur life and she has until Sunday to give me an answer. And during this period she moves out of his house and back into her moms house. *We meet up at the mall to hangout first like old times but, she felt distant and not interested so after we hung-out I decided I didn't want her answer so I gave her a kiss on her head said "see you around" and walked away from her car. After about 2 minutes of walking I look back and she is walking towered me all sad. So I walk back to her car and talk things over and she wouldn't give me an answer about marriage but we ended up making out, she said she was done with the other guy, because he proposed then left for over a week and still hasn't contacted her and he always randomly leaves. So we go back in the mall and have a good time shopping. We go back to her house which is an hour away from mine and I stay there for 4 days. She felt distant again so I had a talk with her and then after that she was happy and fun-loving like usual. Then she went back to being distant after a day and I talk with her again and she says she doesn't love me and she doesn't know y she brought me to her house. So the next day I'm all Mopey at her house and eventually started crying in a separate room and she says I broke her heart and she needs to fix it and she doesn't know if we will get together, she doesn't know the future. So she drops me off home and I whisper in her ear "remember me" and gave her the ticket stub of our first date Which was remember me. The next day I apologize for crying and starting things with her mother, cause her mom was pissed for what she did to me again. So 5 days go by and I don't really have contact with her and I see on the Internet that she and that guy are saying "I love u forever" and things like that. So I call up her mom once again and explain what happened and then my ex texts me and says y did u start things again? I say I'm sorry and I wanna be there for her I won't intrude in her life again. So then the other guys mother comments and says leave my Daughter in law alone. So I realize they are engaged. *I thought she loved me and wanted to marry me. Makes no sense to me, I'm so confused. Now this past weekend I hangout with her cousin and her boyfriend cause they asked me to and I haven't had contact with her for 5 days and she says y r u hanging with her and she's done with her cousin now. And I go to pick up my remaining things from her house and she had hatred in her eyes and basically pushed me out of her house. And I text her later to see y she was so mad and she says twice, "I don't have to explain anything to u" and eventually says she will stay out of my life forever. She was having a party in her house and made the whole house mad at her because of what she did, and she was sounding jealous. She had a fight with her mom because she pushed me out of her house and now she moved her things into his house. I texted the next day saying I know she wanted me in her life and she said she was a little to hard on me the other day. This situation is so confusing and I still love her and want her back and I've read so many things to get her back and idk what will happen.
sweetblubrry Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 Anyone who gets engaged in that amount of time has no common sense, responsibility, and its not with reality. That is insane. Trust me you are better off. It hurts now but do you really want to deal with all that drama? No girl is worth that drama. This sounds like it would be a pattern... she sounds very immature. You don't want to deal with it, trust me. It is better to just cut your losses and move on.
Author Jondwnr Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 Thanks, idk what's up with her, she went crazy I think?
sweetblubrry Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 Most people do not change... she was most likely like this before. People are on their best behavior at the beginning of relationshps. And then their true colors show eventually.
Author Jondwnr Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 In this case I don't think it's true, because all her family is saying they don't know her anymore since she broke up with me went with him.
MaxChartreuse Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 (edited) Jon, I just randomly stumbled on this webpage and after reading your story, I felt compelled to create and account and reply. I know it hurts really hard right now, but it gets only better. Trust me, I've been there. This girl (and I'm sorry to say this) is extremely immature in how she handles her feelings and relationships. It's obvious she's very insecure and that's not the type of girl you want as your wife. You want someone who'll stand with you, not someone you'll have to drag along the rest of your lives because she's unstable and will never mature to your level. Break ups like these only make you stronger and wiser for the person who truly deserves you. And this girl, no matter how much you liked her, is NOT a good quality person. Let that bisexual loser get her. You deserve far better. You may not want to believe me right now, but you probably are not ready to be married right now. Let alone be married to a girl like that. You should be treated with love and respect. Mentally draining relationships are NOT worth your time Jon. I really think you should learn more about yourself before even considering getting into any kind of 'long term' serious relationship. I'm guessing you're younger than 25 and there's nothing wrong with that, but there IS something wrong with trying to get married BEFORE 25. You really should work on having a solid career before even considering having a serious girlfriend (whom you plan on marrying). For most of us, by the time we're 25, we're STILL working on trying to get a good career going. Why screw up that chance and marry so young? Put it this way, you get married before 25 (i.e. before you're making pretty decent income), she gets pregnant, you work 3 jobs, she then cheats on you and divorces you, then you're stuck for the next 18 years paying her alimony. No girl after her will want to date you because you'll be so damn poor and depressed. Money/Success talks. The more successful you are, the more options you'll have. You'll be able to choose from the best looking, sweetest girls out there. Why invest your time in this unstable bitch? For the time being, you should dabble in a little bit of Leykis 101 and get to know yourself a little more first before committing to marrying someone at such a young age. http://www.tenetsofleykis.com/ Good luck Jon! Don't make the same mistakes I did... Edited March 15, 2011 by MaxChartreuse
sniffys Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 disgusting and misleading information on that website, kudos to your advertising endeavors (not). imo, gtfo here.
MaxChartreuse Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 (edited) Jon, I'm not here to advertise (as Sniffy claims I am). That's the only website that I could find that succinctly describes the basics...bottom line is, this girl that screwed you over wasn't worth your time and effort. Get your career started and established, then you'll have your pick from all the best girls out there...don't get married young unless you want to live in poverty. Edited March 15, 2011 by MaxChartreuse
Renewed Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 Sorry but it sounds like you are the one that brought half of this drama onto your self. You were with her for 11 months and didnt update your profile to in a relationship because you didn't want people in your business, then one day had a change of heart. Sounded like you knew someone wanted your girl so you then wanted everyone to know. And you cheated on her. Doesn't sound like you guys got over it like you thought you did. I'm not defending her, but the relationship that you had didn't sound like best. Who care's about the other guy, if he sells or does drugs. She is with him now. Who care's if she is engaged. She was hurt because you cheated and didn't want to change your status on facebook (i;m assuming) There is an old saying "you never miss you water till the wells runs dry, never want your baby until she says goodbye"
Author Jondwnr Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 You are partially right about me, but i was changing the status cause i realized i fell in love with her and it was close to valentines day and i wasnt jealous of this guy at all. And the reason i brought up the drugs and stuff because him and his mom has done worse things like stealing from the church and my exs family is a christian family and dont appove of him because of those reasons and im afriad he is or will corrupt her and if that does happen, that will change how i feel about her cause she is a good person.
Chi townD Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 You are partially right about me, but i was changing the status cause i realized i fell in love with her and it was close to valentines day and i wasnt jealous of this guy at all. And the reason i brought up the drugs and stuff because him and his mom has done worse things like stealing from the church and my exs family is a christian family and dont appove of him because of those reasons and im afriad he is or will corrupt her and if that does happen, that will change how i feel about her cause she is a good person. If she falls for that, that's her problem not yours. She ended it with you and I think you should count your blessings. I would strongly recommend NC. Delete her phone number, change yours, delete her FB page. I strongly believe she'll try to contact you again. Ignore it. Get on with your life.
Author Jondwnr Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 If she does contact me, it will be a blessing. I do believe she was the one, and some of her family thought so as well. But if she does contact me with asking forgiveness or wants me back i will accept her but it wont be right away i would i would have to really think and make her sweat it out like i did. And then talk with her about things, but dont think she wants me back what do i know? Im new to this.
Renewed Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Read your last post. Sounds childish a bit. Playing games is not how you get people to stay, it only continues the cycle. You said you would making her sweat if she wanted to get back, that sounds silly, if you want her back and she wants you back then you guys have some communicating to do. Don't be planning on how you would get her back for what she has done. With that said. I doubt she would want you back right now. She is in another relationship and everything is new. I'm sure you remember what everything felt like when it was new between you two. I suggest you learn from your mistakes and move one. NC is the way to go for sure in this situation.
Author Jondwnr Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 I didnt mean to make it sound like a game, i meant i would really have to think about everything and not rush it. The way it is going her relationship is gonna fail and i think she kknows, cause her life is terrible right now and she is kicking everyone out of it. But im hating that she is hurting. Ive only had contact with her twice in 11 days and once is when she was mad/jealous.
PegNosePete Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 *I cheated on her in December *I thought she loved me and wanted to marry me. Makes no sense to me Makes no sense to me either. Why would you cheat on someone you want to marry? Move on dude, its a train wreck.
betterdeal Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 I find it amazing just how far the idea of "the one" has permeated our culture. If there is a "one" then finding that 1 in 3,000,000,000 people is very lucky indeed. That so many people seem to find their one, makes me believe it's utter popycock. Love is something that grows, is nurtured, develops between people. As time goes by, we become closer to each other, overcome more hurdles with each other's help, have good times and laughs and intimacy, and grow as people, together. It is the in delicate flames of affection and trust that burn so brightly that we find love.
Author Jondwnr Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 It was an accident. I didnt want to cheat or had it planned out. It was just a mistake that i wish didnt happen.
Duckduckgoose Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 I find it amazing just how far the idea of "the one" has permeated our culture. If there is a "one" then finding that 1 in 3,000,000,000 people is very lucky indeed. That so many people seem to find their one, makes me believe it's utter popycock. Love is something that grows, is nurtured, develops between people. As time goes by, we become closer to each other, overcome more hurdles with each other's help, have good times and laughs and intimacy, and grow as people, together. It is the in delicate flames of affection and trust that burn so brightly that we find love. THIS. I didn't believe in true love before I got married, and I really don't believe in it now that I am divorcing. Love stems from feelings but takes a lot of effort to maintain. It doesn't just "happen". Of course I know people that do believe in the "one", their "soulmate", and "true love". I really hope these people never divorce.
PegNosePete Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I find it amazing just how far the idea of "the one" has permeated our culture. If there is a "one" then finding that 1 in 3,000,000,000 people is very lucky indeed. That so many people seem to find their one, makes me believe it's utter popycock. Ah you're thinking about it on a linear timescale. It depends how you define "the one". If you define the one as "the one you will spend the rest of your life with" then it's not surprising that many people meet the one. It comes from the definition. Of course every person who spends the rest of their life with another, will have met that person at some point in the past. Therefore meeting "the one" always happens by definition.
Author Jondwnr Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 Yeah and i feel she was "the one" for that reason. Its not like im saying this because she tossed me to the curb. I was thinking about this for a month or so before she did.
betterdeal Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 (edited) Ah you're thinking about it on a linear timescale. It depends how you define "the one". Linear timescale? There are 3 billion women on Earth right now. If one is the one, then the chances I meet her are 3,000,000,000 to 1. If you define the one as "the one you will spend the rest of your life with" then it's not surprising that many people meet the one. It comes from the definition. Of course every person who spends the rest of their life with another, will have met that person at some point in the past. Therefore meeting "the one" always happens by definition. Yes, and if I define it as most people mean it, as in there's a special other half out there, made for you, to make you complete, it's nonsense. If I take your definition, if I bone someone tonight and make sure I park the car on the train tracks whilst we're humping in the back then she'll be the one I spend the rest of my life with. If I have a 15 year relationship with one woman who dies peacefully in her sleep, and then have another 15 year relationship with another woman after a suitable period of mourning, who's the fake one, the one that I didn't *really* love? Edited March 17, 2011 by betterdeal
PegNosePete Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 Yes, and if I define it as most people mean it, as in there's a special other half out there, made for you, to make you complete, it's nonsense. Well I can agree that the way "most people" mean it is a load of BS! One person apparently chosen at random that you are meant to spend your life searching for? It would never happen. But looking at the time line in both directions it is possible to define "the one" in such a way that satisfies "most people" and disbelievers like us If I have a 15 year relationship with one woman who dies peacefully in her sleep, and then have another 15 year relationship with another woman after a suitable period of mourning, who's the fake one, the one that I didn't *really* love? Well then in that case you have two one's
FreeNow Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I find it amazing just how far the idea of "the one" has permeated our culture. If there is a "one" then finding that 1 in 3,000,000,000 people is very lucky indeed. That so many people seem to find their one, makes me believe it's utter popycock. Love is something that grows, is nurtured, develops between people. As time goes by, we become closer to each other, overcome more hurdles with each other's help, have good times and laughs and intimacy, and grow as people, together. It is the in delicate flames of affection and trust that burn so brightly that we find love. ^^^ This should be a damned sticky on LS! ^^^ If I have a 15 year relationship with one woman who dies peacefully in her sleep, and then have another 15 year relationship with another woman after a suitable period of mourning, who's the fake one, the one that I didn't *really* love? So very wise! I've deeply loved more than one woman. Each differently as they were individuals. This whole idea of "the One" is complete rubbish. Having raised/helped raise nieces and nephews, other people's children, my own children, and dealing with grandchildren... Sometimes, insecure children (and some troubled adults) are told "there is someone out there for everyone" in a well meaning way of comforting them. This is translated as there is "One" out there for me. It's not reality, it doesn't prove to be true in life. There is always someone out there with which one has the potential to build a loving relationship. It's a potential to build; not magical thinking. It's a fantasy and diminishes the true worth of love between people that have endured. It didn't happen magically, they worked at it, consciously or subconsciously, and are to be held in esteem for their efforts. Evidence given in support of "the One" can't separate cause and effect. It's flawed logic.
geegirl Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 It was an accident. I didnt want to cheat or had it planned out. It was just a mistake that i wish didnt happen. It burns me when people rationalize their reason for cheating. "I didn't want to cheat" -- but you did. You always have a conscious choice to say no. You chose to cheat. It was an accident? Your dick slipped into something it wasn't supposed to slip in by accident. Again, conscious choice to say no and be faithful to your supposed "the one". Cheapens the meaning of what "the one" means. I don't believe in it but if you cheat on someone you claim is the "one" for you, then cheating is not treatment worthy for someone placed in such high regard. Just before you are whispering sweet nothings and wondering what's under her blouse, you have more than enough time to avoid the accident, avoid a mistake, think with your brain and tell yourself you will not go down that path. I'm sorry, but people cheat and then raise their hands and say, "Ooops, but I didn't want to do it." Who said it...popycock sounds about right.
Author Jondwnr Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 There was no sex involved, it was a makeout. And i do wish i could take it back. Cause i am a great guy that isnt me at all.
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