Imajerk17 Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 (edited) That is about the worst possible place you can go. You know that there are other places, right? Why not approach women on the street, in the grocery store, in the bookstore... Far less competition that way. Edited March 15, 2011 by Imajerk17
carhill Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 There's a reasonable but not overwhelming expectation that a woman not in the company of a man in a bar/club has a good chance of being single. Less clear in everyday places and events. Also, LS anecdotes indicate that women have widely varied opinions about being cold-approached in everyday location due to 'timing', predominantly that they may not feel 'receptive' in such circumstances.
Author Imajerk17 Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 There's a reasonable but not overwhelming expectation that a woman not in the company of a man in a bar/club has a good chance of being single. Less clear in everyday places and events. Also, LS anecdotes indicate that women have widely varied opinions about being cold-approached in everyday location due to 'timing', predominantly that they may not feel 'receptive' in such circumstances. Women like being cold-approached during the day, more than in a bar. The guy just has to do it well. As guys, we need to be different. We can't be doing what every other guy is doing and expect better results.
angielove Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 I would say the availability and accessibility of alcohol is the main reason.
Disillusioned Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 I would say the availability and accessibility of alcohol is the main reason. What you said.
alphamale Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 So why do so many guys go to bars to meet women there? . because there is alcohol = fake confidence = loosening of morals & inhibitions = hooking up
fishtaco Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 Bars give people a chance to hang out and associate with each other in a party mood. Grocery stores and even the gym don't give you that. People go in, do stuff, and get out. Very little chance to socialize. This is also why people tend to hook up at schools and work. It's some place where you stay for significant amount of time, to do some sort of activity together. What's even better than bars? Parties. It has all the same elements. With the added benefit that women's guards will be lower, because they are with friends, and their friends. But parties don't always happen. Bars are open every night. This is why I feel one of the must-do's for men to increase their chances is to be social with everyone. Not only does it allow you to practice your platonic social skills, which is the foundation that dating social skills are based on, it also increases your chances of getting invited to parties.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 A good reason: Drunk women. Not that I'd ever take advantage of a drunk woman sexually. But a lot of creepy guys go there, to pick up drunk women and take them home with them. The decent guys...erm, well, they don't tend to stand out. You have to be kind of an outgoing annoying extrovert, with a party attitude and a fun personality, to be a success story there. And even then, you're not even sure if the number you get is real. I don't understand it either. All the cool chicks hang out at the library, or the art museums, or the coffee houses. 1
Euclid Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 I don't, I think its a horrid place to look for a real relationship. Mind you I have been single for 2 years.
mogul Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 I don't get why everyone is bashing clubs. Is it because you don't have success there? Contrary to popular belief, most of the women at clubs are just there to have fun with their friends and are all educated with decent careers. Everyone is there just to have a good time. If you have half a personality, you shouldn't have problems meeting a girl there. I don't see why everyone says it is so hard. I don't go to clubs/bar with the sole intention of picking girls up or getting numbers, it just happens.
Author Imajerk17 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 I met a woman tonight in the supermarket. We had a nice few-minute conversation and I got her number. Here's the thing..I didn't have to buy anyone--including myself--a drink. (Yeah I know, I'm cheap.) I didn't have to deal with loud environments with rude drunk people. And it probably made a more memorable impression on the girl. 1
USMCHokie Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 I met a woman tonight in the supermarket. We had a nice few-minute conversation and I got her number. Here's the thing..I didn't have to buy anyone--including myself--a drink. (Yeah I know, I'm cheap.) I didn't have to deal with loud environments with rude drunk people. And it probably made a more memorable impression on the girl. Most success comes when you don't come with an agenda or expectation. Women can somehow sense when guys are in a predatory mode (e.g., in clubs) and raise the defenses.
baguette Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 So Saturday night rolls around and you and your buddies want to socialize, have some fun and go out. Where else can you go besides a bar (or club) and have that same opportunity? I find it way easier to talk to girls in a bar because they are usually in a good mood and expect guys to approach them. I think of bars as a place to "practice" my socializing skills that I'll some day use to court the real deal somewhere else.
Els Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Ha, I always wondered how anyone starts a relationship in a bar anyway. Not sure if this constitutes the majority, but the few bars I've been in were extremely noisy, to the point of the me and my friends/bf needing to shout to be heard. Fun in a way, but I'm really not sure how you even start getting to know someone when you can barely hear each other... or is it some sort of security blanket when the need for any sort of decent conversation is removed? ONS, on the other hand, probably doesn't need any talking, and people do tend to be less inhibited after alcohol consumption. To put it mildly, that is.
mogul Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Honestly, its strictly physical attraction that gets you in the door at clubs/bars. That, and if you're not socially awkward and can come up with a few clever lines, you're solid. Get the number and figure out their personality at a later time to see if you're a match.
Author Imajerk17 Posted March 16, 2011 Author Posted March 16, 2011 It's too much work for me. Fun sometimes tho.
ReturnToSender Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 I met my ex in a bar.... All the same, to me a bar isnt exactly the place to meet someone, just to hang out with friends really. After wed been together awhile, I overheard him telling someone how we met and said he went out that night just looking for a hook up when he met me. How everytime we went on a date hed try to get me in his apt but I wouldnt go, so he was forced to get to know me and the rest is history. So, even the one guy I did meet in a bar was only interested in a hook up. So even though that worked out for awhile, I still dont think a bar is the place to meet anyone. I see having met him a once in a lifetime shot in the dark sort of thing.
GivenUp0083 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Liquid courage? I back this argument. Maybe some people go to bars to drink and have fun with friends, then in the moment they decide to approach women....you know, like an unplanned decision. Also, there's been stories, and personal friends of mine, who actually did meet their SO or husband/wife in a bar....crazy right?
irc333 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Find some social activity group like an outdoors group, dinner and a movie group, or <insert your favorite hobby and go to that group> Plenty of those out there. So Saturday night rolls around and you and your buddies want to socialize, have some fun and go out. Where else can you go besides a bar (or club) and have that same opportunity? I find it way easier to talk to girls in a bar because they are usually in a good mood and expect guys to approach them. I think of bars as a place to "practice" my socializing skills that I'll some day use to court the real deal somewhere else.
GivenUp0083 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Find some social activity group like an outdoors group, dinner and a movie group, or <insert your favorite hobby and go to that group> Plenty of those out there. You should take your OWN ADVICE then, Online Dating Profile Stalker Boy!
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 I don't get why everyone is bashing clubs. Is it because you don't have success there? Contrary to popular belief, most of the women at clubs are just there to have fun with their friends and are all educated with decent careers. Everyone is there just to have a good time. If you have half a personality, you shouldn't have problems meeting a girl there. I don't see why everyone says it is so hard. I don't go to clubs/bar with the sole intention of picking girls up or getting numbers, it just happens. It's not about how difficult it is... I mean its pretty easy to meet women in a bar. The problem is that the quality drops drastically. Women you meet in bars are not worth dating. Everytime I'm single I always forget that for a bit and go out to give it a shot. Last April in fact I met this woman who was very pretty, seemed smart, interesting... ect. We talked for 2 hours, danced... then we were kissing for about 15 minutes when her friend comes over and literally pulls us apart. Turns out this "lady" is a married mother of 2, who is out of town for her grandmothers funeral.
ReturnToSender Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 It's not about how difficult it is... I mean its pretty easy to meet women in a bar. The problem is that the quality drops drastically. Women you meet in bars are not worth dating. Everytime I'm single I always forget that for a bit and go out to give it a shot. Last April in fact I met this woman who was very pretty, seemed smart, interesting... ect. We talked for 2 hours, danced... then we were kissing for about 15 minutes when her friend comes over and literally pulls us apart. Turns out this "lady" is a married mother of 2, who is out of town for her grandmothers funeral. I dont think its so much the quality of the women (or men) but the quality of the connection. I hardly think that just because someone is in a bar makes them worthless for dating... What I do think is that when someone goes out, they are not looking for or expecting any sort of decent connection to happen. Like in your example, if you met a woman at the supermarket you took a liking to and struck up conversation, would you end up kissing on her for 15min by the zucchini? Probably not. Personally, that both of you decided to do that shows that neither of you really placed much quality on the connection you had. Now if you had been in deep convo and getting to know each other when her friend came over, then I could see your point about this woman... Anyway, between the atmosphere and the drink, expecting anything more than a good time in a bar is setting yourself up for disappointment. Of course anything can happen, but I wouldnt bet on it.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 I dont think its so much the quality of the women (or men) but the quality of the connection. I hardly think that just because someone is in a bar makes them worthless for dating... What I do think is that when someone goes out, they are not looking for or expecting any sort of decent connection to happen. Like in your example, if you met a woman at the supermarket you took a liking to and struck up conversation, would you end up kissing on her for 15min by the zucchini? Probably not. Personally, that both of you decided to do that shows that neither of you really placed much quality on the connection you had. Now if you had been in deep convo and getting to know each other when her friend came over, then I could see your point about this woman... Anyway, between the atmosphere and the drink, expecting anything more than a good time in a bar is setting yourself up for disappointment. Of course anything can happen, but I wouldnt bet on it. I think the point of my story sailed over your head. She wasn't quality at all. Doesn't matter if I met her in a supermarket or a nightclub. A good number of the women in bars are just tramps. The guys tend towards terrible as well. When I go to bars I'm just there to kick it with my friends... maybe sing karaoke so bad they turn off my mic... stuff like that. Meeting women there is a joke... and in fact barflys like that can put you off women as a whole. November I noticed this guys GF take off with one of the bar regulars for about 20 minutes. They both came back and the guy was bragging to us later that he got a BJ in his car and her number.
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