sunrise28 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 My situation is complicated but I will try to sum it up. I've been with my partner for 2 1/2 years now. I'm also mum of 2 girls. He lives with his ex wife and can't sell their house because it is in negative equity. So Who knows when we will be together fully. He and his ex are divorced now and he proposed to me on my birthday 2009. We text everyday, msn most evenings, and tell eachother we love eachother everyday. Problem: I have never been happy/ok that he and his ex are living together. though I have reached to the depths of my soul to tolerate things, because I love him for him and he says he wants all of us (me and the girls). Logic tells me , why propose if he didn't. I have only been to his house under 10 times, due to the fact the atmosphere stinks when I, he and his ex are together. She told me early on in the relationship that they are just flat mates, though she does feel she has lost her best friend. I understand this to an extent, but cannot understand that why she has such animosity towards me. Especially as she is the one who ended their relationship. I have been very tolerant and put up with a bad atmoshere each time I have gone there. So I told him I shall not be going there again when she is at home. I respect it is her home too, but I feel like piggy in the middle with them both. If I'm honest I resent not being able to take the children there too. I don't want to subject them to seeing someone they don't need to know. For fear of confusing them. Which he understands completely. At the moment my partner has depression too. I had to take him to my local GP because he couldn't do it alone. Again I understand this ( as I have had depression in the oast). Oh I don't know, My gut says I should get out, but I am so torn because I love him for him,and he says he loves me. His family still love the ex too and keep in contact with her (they have no children between them). a huge part of me wnats to walk away, but i am scared I will make a huge mistake, because I do want to spend the rest of my life with this person. I just don't know when that will be. What do I do? Please help
folieadeux Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 Sounds like the only issue you're having is him living with his ex. I'm sure you've been asked this simple question a ton of times before, but is there any way either of them can get out of the house? I don't blame you one bit for feeling and acting as you have...no need to put you nor your kids in an awkward situation. This honestly would be a dealbreaker for me, but you've stuck it out for so long, so I'll suggest something different to you. Has your partner tried to contact his lender to help? Applied for an unsecured loan from the bank? Renting out the house (if at all possible) is also another option worth looking into, especially seeing as they both still currently reside there. Not sure what your partner has tried, so I'm just throwing suggestions out there without knowing any real specifics of the situation.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 Just so you know, his ex has animosity towards you because he has moved on, and when youre over there, you represent him smacking his ex-wife in the face that he's moved on. He probably moved on before she did, and that is hard to take especially when she dumped him. So you shouldnt worry about her.
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