Eternal Sunshine Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I met a great guy in real life (rather than online which has been my previous resource for meeting men). He is a friend of a friend and everyone likes him. I am not crazy about him (yet) but at the same time like him enough to want to keep seeing him. Intellectually and conversationally we connect incredibly well, better than I did with anyone. He is 30 (so 2 years younger than me), very stable and with good manners. Really treats me like a lady. He is cute but not "I want to rip his clothes off" cute (this of course is subjective). Before him, I had a brief fling with my brother's tennis coach and former ATP tour player that just ended. This guy was exciting and I was very drawn to him but alas, he just wants to play around and I think I got too emotional and scared him off, or my body wasn't toned enough or something. But this engineer guy I am seeing, I find myself not timing his texts (like I normally do), not freaking out when he re-schedules the date (like I normally do) and generally feeling a bit more detached from it all. I am not sure if it's normal but historically for me, I get a bit crazy when I really like the guy. I also have a quick first date this week with a guy that I had a crush on 10 years ago - who reconnected with me out of the blue. I am sure most of you know who I am by now and I have made some steps to improve my life. I finally found a therapist that comes highly recommended and am seeing her next week. Other than that, I took up some hobbies like salsa dancing and swimming as well as reading up in depth on the current economic situation and how we got here. I am basically trying to make myself a more well rounded individual, rather than have all my free time revolve around men and dating. This came as recommendation from my very dear and very astute friend
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 (edited) Heh, it's funny I just got the good morning text from the engineer guy. He wrote "I can't believe how normal you are. It's just strange to meet a normal, intelligent, ambitious and beautiful girl these days." As everyone on LS knows, I am much closer to being bats*it insane than to being normal. It's just strange - the perception of people sometimes. This guy hasn't seen my emotional side yet...at all. P.S. As for my ex - I left LS the day we broke up. I ended up lying in bed heart broken for about 3 days but it took me less than 2 weeks to fully move on from him. I didn't even need to do NC. We are still in casual contact and get along well as friends. I have even emotionally supported him when he got fired from his job recently. He hasn't dated anyone since and is in treatment fro clinical depression. He is much bigger mess than me and I am pretty happy not be entangled with him any longer. Edited March 14, 2011 by Eternal Sunshine
fishtaco Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 So you're multi dating! That means you're evil! Just kidding. When you lose interest completely, you can always do the fade out. And I'm not being sarcastic either. Really this is how it goes. Multi date, and when interest is lost, they get dropped. And, sometimes, you get dropped.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 So you're multi dating! That means you're evil! Just kidding. When you lose interest completely, you can always do the fade out. And I'm not being sarcastic either. Really this is how it goes. Multi date, and when interest is lost, they get dropped. And, sometimes, you get dropped. Yeah! I am not exclusive with anyone, so it's all good. I can't tell if the engineer guy is not exciting enough due to lack of drama. I still think he is good for me. You know how different people bring out different sides of you? Well, he brings out my rational and logical side - this is not a bad thing. And, I am multi-dating real life, with no help of the intraweb!
fishtaco Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 Yeah! I am not exclusive with anyone, so it's all good. I can't tell if the engineer guy is not exciting enough due to lack of drama. I still think he is good for me. You know how different people bring out different sides of you? Well, he brings out my rational and logical side - this is not a bad thing. And, I am multi-dating real life, with no help of the intraweb! Cool. I would have advised you to multi date both of them anyway. Good for you isn't good enough. There needs to be chemistry. At least that's what I think. Of course it is possible to develop the spark later (it has happened to me before, mediocre at first, then bam!), so don't write him off yet. But don't date him just because he's "good for you". We're not talking about health food or something.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 15, 2011 Author Posted March 15, 2011 Cool. I would have advised you to multi date both of them anyway. Good for you isn't good enough. There needs to be chemistry. At least that's what I think. Of course it is possible to develop the spark later (it has happened to me before, mediocre at first, then bam!), so don't write him off yet. But don't date him just because he's "good for you". We're not talking about health food or something. I know. It wouldn't be fair to him to lead him on. At this point, I still think that developing more of spark is a possibility. When and if I am sure that it's not - I will break it off. I am trying to treat others how I want to be treated nowdays too.
fishtaco Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 I know. It wouldn't be fair to him to lead him on. At this point, I still think that developing more of spark is a possibility. When and if I am sure that it's not - I will break it off. I am trying to treat others how I want to be treated nowdays too. And that's plenty good enough. See people? multi daters aren't evil.
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