primer Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Do you think some people are intentional moochers? Like - Do they think to themselves "I need to find somebody that will support me and my children"? In the last few years I know of a few people that left their spouses looking for an easier life. Do they actually think to themselves "he cannot spoil me so I need to find someone that will"? I find it hard to believe that people would actually think that way. Maybe I am just naive.
carhill Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Yes, there are some people like this. Some express the perspective in actions only and some express it in both in words and actions. Where words and actions contradict, I accept actions as their truth. In my own case, I have heard direct words from women as to what men 'owe' them, whether that be 'friends' or 'lovers' or 'spouses'. I accept those words as their truth. The difficult ones are the submarines. They project one demeanor but actually have a completely different perspective under the surface. Those are the true manipulators. Beware of those, gender irrelevant.
Lilmisus Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I said this on another thread like a week or so ago about a Maury episode I saw recently, one that had to do with cheating. This 20-some year old chick wanted to test her 50-some year old, rich husband and see if he was cheating on her. Although he told the lie detector tests "No" he actually had been cheating on her. His two 20-some year old daughters were there as well saying that she was only with him for his money and demanding that she take the same test and see if she was cheating on him (since they thought so). When she took the test and was asked if she had cheated on him she bluntly told them "Yes" and when they asked if she was only with him for his money she said "Yes" again. When they asked if she loved him, she openly confessed not to be in love with him. Apparently, they're thing was that as long as they knew who the other was having sex with, then it was okay, it was when they didn't tell each other then it was wrong. Also, it was they're "arrangement" almost that he was her sugar daddy and she was his young arm candy. As long as he spent all his money on her and could have any of it, she didn't care. So to answer your question, yes. There are definitely people out there who are mooches/gold diggers. I even know a few people who are openly gold diggers. It's horrible, but hey, it's their lives.
musemaj11 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 As chris rock said, when a man sees something he likes, he thinks "what can I do to have that?" But when a woman sees something she likes, she thinks "who can I get to have that?"
810 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 Do you think some people are intentional moochers? Like - Do they think to themselves "I need to find somebody that will support me and my children"? In the last few years I know of a few people that left their spouses looking for an easier life. Do they actually think to themselves "he cannot spoil me so I need to find someone that will"? I find it hard to believe that people would actually think that way. Maybe I am just naive. I used to be friends with this one girl. She would hit guys up for things she couldn't afford. Many times she told me that she went shopping with them and asked them to pay for the stuffs in cash so she can return the stuffs later. I felt really bad for the guys she dated. One of the guys she dated called me and said that he really loved her but was unable to afford her anymore. It was a really sad situation for him. I also had a friend whose boyfriend didn't lift a finger in their relationship. She was their main provider and took care of every thing from cleaning their house to paying bills to cook meals. I looked at her situation and asked myself if there is a boundary one draws when they are in love. I used to question about lots of things that seemed unfair to people and then I realized that it takes two to tangle. If a guy knows that he has to spend to be with her then I don't think he should call her a gold digger because he is willingly to do so. It goes the same for females who slaves themselves to support their men willingly. To me, one shouldn't complain on the things one choose to do. There are no victims in willingness and the maturity is measured by the responsibility ones hold. and I learned not to care how people behave in their relationships anymore because I don't compare my relationship with theirs. lolz
810 Posted March 16, 2011 Posted March 16, 2011 As chris rock said, when a man sees something he likes, he thinks "what can I do to have that?" But when a woman sees something she likes, she thinks "who can I get to have that?" so musemaj, what's your story?
musemaj11 Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 (edited) I grew up living with five females. The experience taught me enough to underrstand that there is two types of women: 1. Women who are gold diggers. 2. Women who are not attractive enough to be gold diggers. I blame social conditioning for this though rather than genetic. Edited March 17, 2011 by musemaj11
ReturnToSender Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 Five females are not representative of women as a whole... Culturally speaking, its so common to see Caribbean women working 3 jobs, taking care of the house, the kids, the cooking, the cleaning, and her man is making a dent on the couch waiting for her to call him to dinner. Not all are like that, its just a very common sight, and the golddigger mentality is far and few between if at all. But yeah, there are a lot of women who just see guys as providers or seek men out to take care of them and/or their kids or want to "upgrade" to a more comfortable life, but thats definitely not all women. And its not looks that drives a woman either way...goodness Ive seen some women who look so tore up and still find a way to get guys to pay their way, and Ive seen some very beautiful women who are so independent they scare guys with their "I dont need a man" attitude. Ive seen men mooch off thier woman, and also men who dont want their woman to work and just take care of the home because he wants to provide everything else he feels like hes not man enough if he doesnt provide everything they need to survive financially. There are all types out there...
MarlyStar Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I grew up living with five females. The experience taught me enough to underrstand that there is two types of women: 1. Women who are gold diggers. 2. Women who are not attractive enough to be gold diggers. I blame social conditioning for this though rather than genetic. What nonsense. And then there are women who have enough of their own money that they don't care about how much a man has because no one is going to support them. They just want the man to make enough to support himself because she is not going to support him. I'm the one who wants a prenupt, and if he made 10 times what I earn, I'd still want the prenupt. If I won the lottery, it still wouldn't buy me the three things I want most in life. Money is nothing but money. There are lots of men who prowl for women for money. The world is full of losers and con men and addicts and sociopaths and the lazy. How anyone would get to age 25 and think immorality and exploitation is the purview of only one gender is a mystery to me.
ReturnToSender Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 If I won the lottery, it still wouldn't buy me the three things I want most in life. Money is nothing but money. Truth...except for me there are only two things I would die happy to have, and money cant provide them.
Star Gazer Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I grew up living with five females. The experience taught me enough to underrstand that there is two types of women: 1. Women who are gold diggers. 2. Women who are not attractive enough to be gold diggers. I blame social conditioning for this though rather than genetic. The five million women you grew up with are not representative of the other 3.75 billion women living on this planet.
MarlyStar Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 There is almost no statement you can make about either gender that is absolutely true. All men have an X and Y chromosone. (nope, some have 2 Xs and a sex change operation) All women have 2 X chromosones. (nope, some have 2 Xs and a Y, some have one and a half X). All men have penises. (nope, again not true, some genetically, some surgically, some because of penile cancer/accidents, some for other reasons do not have penises) All men love sex. (again nope) All women have periods, want babies, are looking for a man to support them, etc... (nope, and nope, and nope and nope) There are no universal statements about any demographic.
810 Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 I grew up living with five females. The experience taught me enough to underrstand that there is two types of women: 1. Women who are gold diggers. 2. Women who are not attractive enough to be gold diggers. I blame social conditioning for this though rather than genetic. no, musemaj, what's your story?
2sure Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 As chris rock said, when a man sees something he likes, he thinks "what can I do to have that?" But when a woman sees something she likes, she thinks "who can I get to have that?" Wow. Basically...thats it. I cannot deny it. I am older now, more "feminist" possibly, and currently jaded so I no longer apply the ideas to relationships but...it pretty much sums up the previous 20 years of my life. I wish I just read that instead of done all that self reflection!
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