purplehouse Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 This guy i've been dating/getting to know (which is happening very slowly) is attractive and we get along well. I just don't know if he is someone i can see myself being with in the long term....And sadly some of that is based on a few things that i've got to know about him since we met. should i continue and see what happens or is it wrong to do this when i am pretty sure that he is not my type long term??
welikeincrowds Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 It's not wrong at all, you just have to be vocal about it. What's wrong is misleading someone into believing that you are interested in establishing a relationship when you aren't and never were. EDIT: And by vocal about it, I don't necessarily mean "You know, a**hole, I don't see you as long term material." It behooves you to be a little diplomatic about it.
somedude81 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Of course I would. Now why would you not? What's wrong with a Mr. Rightnow?
ConflictedGuy27 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 you do realize the point of "getting to know someone" is just that, to get to know them; i.e. learn about them so you can make a decision... it's not "sad" that you've found information about the guy, it's actually the POINT of getting to know someone. do you continue? the answer to that question is really easy. just answer the following: have you seen enough?? if so, end it. if not, continue. it's really that simple.
spackle Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 how do you know he's not long term? Crystal ball?
blackmagik Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I say you date him and enjoy yourself. Maybe you will find qualities that you like later.
East7 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Sometimes you may date someone without long-term expectations, enjoy sex without strings etc..but when you know that person better you may have more desire to a LTR. There a plenty of LTR that begin like this. Anyway, if there is a major deal-breaker or major flaw you can't overlook, it is better not to date this person at all and wait for the right one.
Intricategirl Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 It depends. I had one guy that I dated after a fairly traumatic event. Even apart from that, I knew he was still getting over his last girlfriend, had some significant issues, and that we were not headed in the same direction. We were, in essence, each other's rebounds. He's a good friend even still, and we talk regularly. Would I do it again? Almost certainly not. I'm looking for a LTR and was even then, but there were very specific reasons why he in particular was the best fling I could have had. He saved me years of therapy, I showed him he's fit to be in a relationship, neither of us fell in love, and we can walk away from it friends. I don't think I could be that lucky again.
USMCHokie Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I used to think that there was no point to a relationship if there was no long term prospects, but I have since changed my tune...if there's something that would inevitably break a relationship at some point in the future, then I'd cross that bridge when (and if) I get to it. Otherwise, I'll just enjoy the moment. Life's a continuum with relationships that come and go...there's no sense prematurely ending one along that path of life if it would bring some sort of happiness for however long it was meant to... But maybe this viewpoint is just a reflection of where I am at this point in my life...
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