Mme. Chaucer Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I sense jealousy from the OP....who cares what other women do? If she's so stupid, you sound like you'd never be interested in her, so why does it matter what she falls for? I think you're just upset that a guy you don't have much respect for is getting laid and you aren't. I do too. This OP is extremely concerned with the sexual activities (as he perceives them, anyway) of women who have no connection with him whatsoever. I suspect that he wants to be in the position of the "PUA" guys, having the upper hand with all the "slutty" girls. Why?
betterdeal Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 One night stands are 99.9999% of the time more effort that they're worth. You don't know each other's bodies, what buttons to press, what will bring on the vinegar strokes, where you are, the number for a cab firm to get home, whether you spent *that* much cash, what the hell was that smell in her bedroom, and more likely than not she'll not even know where the penis is.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I suspect that he wants to be in the position of the "PUA" guys, having the upper hand with all the "slutty" girls. Why? because even a slutty bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
sally4sara Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 So here is my question. Is my BullSh** detector just that much better than most women? Is there just a small minority of women who are just partly retarded? Or do they actually want a guy to just hump and dump? They're in a bar - she has consumed alcohol. Some people just should not drink and drive OR meet new people for how incapacitated they become. The rest is the same thing that happens when your friend introduces you to the new person they are dating or a new friend they are jazzed about. YOU see the flaws they over look because you are more removed from the end goal. I run into this too. A friend introduces me to their new interest and I end up wondering "WTF are they doing with this person"? Are you trying to pretend you've never had this happen with one of your guy friends where you just can't see what they dig about their new girl? Lots of people out there selling BS whether they took a course on it or not.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 (edited) OP, one big assumption you've carried throughout the discussion is that she didn't mean to leave with that guy. you're assuming she fell for some hokey trap. I'm offering that believing such is an assumption that neither matters nor is one you should waste your time pondering. they left together because they liked each other and they were a match. maybe a match for one hour, one night or one lifetime, but who cares either way, right? they had fun, so good for them. some have mentioned this may have been a ONS situation, maybe it was, but my point remains. it takes two to tango, now doesn't it? study attraction and do a better job than he, if you're jealous. If you're not, then why care so much what other people do? Edited March 14, 2011 by ConflictedGuy27
runner Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 One night stands are 99.9999% of the time more effort that they're worth. You don't know each other's bodies, what buttons to press, what will bring on the vinegar strokes, where you are, the number for a cab firm to get home, whether you spent *that* much cash, what the hell was that smell in her bedroom, and more likely than not she'll not even know where the penis is. while i agree that ONSs can be crappy in their lack of deep satisfaction, it really isn't all that hard to get into. it's pretty easy if you're just looking to scratch an itch.
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 You watched her go home with him? Unless you followed them to his or her home, and played fly on the wall in the bedroom, you have no idea what happened when that girl (and presumably her friend, unless she left her friend sitting alone in the bar like a lemon - which I'm sure would mean the end of that friendship) left the bar in the company of the guy. They might have gone to a club, a party...whatever else, or to one of the girl's homes...and the guy might have ended the night going home alone without having had sex. It's hardly unusual for women to meet up with guys, go clubbing with them but not have sex with them at the end of it. That's just socialising with the opposite sex, and it's part of a night out. Now I guess it's over to you to add on to your anecdote whatever arms and legs are necessary to add credibility to the assumptions you made about how this girl ended her evening. Actually, I have no idea where she and her friend went. I assume she took the guy with her. I don't think it really matters. The point is that she really just blew off my friend who is genuinely quality and had a very good approach in favor of a guy that was on several levels demeaning. It was pretty frustrating for my friend. He says this is very common in bars. I've never really tried to pick up women in that environment... so I can't really say how it works.
GivenUp0083 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I do too. This OP is extremely concerned with the sexual activities (as he perceives them, anyway) of women who have no connection with him whatsoever. I suspect that he wants to be in the position of the "PUA" guys, having the upper hand with all the "slutty" girls. Why? Exactly. I'm not as loose and confident in the sack with a chick that I'm having sex with for the first time because I don't know her well and I don't know what she likes. Usually if I'm hooking up with a random I'm pretty drunk and sex just isn't that good for me. Plus, there are so many things that could go wrong... She could rob you when you're sleeping. She could have an STD She could have a vengeful boyfriend that catches you You could get her pregnant She could be someone you run into later in life (awkward) She could be a lot less attractive in the morning (we all are) She could be clingy and stalk you afterward She could get hungover/sick and puke in your bed All of the above are things I've heard of first hand that have happened to people....thank god none of them happened to me.
betterdeal Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 while i agree that ONSs can be crappy in their lack of deep satisfaction, it really isn't all that hard to get into. it's pretty easy if you're just looking to scratch an itch. Sure, each to their own. I wasn't being entirely serious, btw. Most women can find a penis eventually.
betterdeal Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Actually, I have no idea where she and her friend went. I assume she took the guy with her. I don't think it really matters. The point is that she really just blew off my friend who is genuinely quality and had a very good approach in favor of a guy that was on several levels demeaning. Why don't you date your friend then if he's such a good catch?
betterdeal Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 It was pretty frustrating for my friend. He says this is very common in bars. I've never really tried to pick up women in that environment... so I can't really say how it works. Most quick pick-ups I have had have involved little or no talking. Eye contact, watch them dancing, lunge-snog, hug, toilets / woods at end of field / upstairs to someone's bedroom / back of car, then back to the dancefloor / party / living room / tent. Like other's have said, sometimes people feel frisky and want sex and they have it.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Most quick pick-ups I have had have involved little or no talking. Eye contact, watch them dancing, lunge-snog, hug, toilets / woods at end of field / upstairs to someone's bedroom / back of car, then back to the dancefloor / party / living room / tent. Like other's have said, sometimes people feel frisky and want sex and they have it. Yes they do!
Taramere Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Actually, I have no idea where she and her friend went. I assume she took the guy with her. I don't think it really matters. The point is that she really just blew off my friend who is genuinely quality and had a very good approach in favor of a guy that was on several levels demeaning. It was pretty frustrating for my friend. He says this is very common in bars. I've never really tried to pick up women in that environment... so I can't really say how it works. I watched about 30 seconds of the Mystery video, and couldn't be bothered listening to any more. I can imagine being in a bar, being cornered by somebody rambling on like that and listening out of politeness. If he started to get insulting, that would be a good opportunity to get out of the conversation. He just came across as a rambling bore with a host of issues. As for why your friend continually loses out to other men...well, if the moment another man cuts in and starts talking to the woman he just sits back and lets it happen, then he'll lose out every time. That's when being Mr Nice really doesn't pay off because it looks apathetic. If he tells the guy "nice isn't she? That's why I'm talking to her. Now f*ck off" as a guy I was talking to once did to a notorious local sleazebag, then that's going to score him major points. However, for a man to do that he has to be read for the risk of a) the woman saying "actually I want to talk to this guy, so why don't you f*ck off" b) a confrontation developing. I can understand that a lot of men would find that annoying and be of the view that women aren't worth taking those risks for. Which is fair enough, but I think given a choice between the two most women are going to opt for the guy who wants her enough to face off the competition. So is the problem here that the woman is too stupid to see that your friend was the better man, or is it that your friend is somebody who will rapidly back down from any competition presented by other men? You say this happens to him a lot when he goes out. If he's going to back down immediately every time, then he's a nice guy - but he's not a very bold one, and that'll go against him.
Imajerk17 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 (edited) I'm not a fan of bars for meeting women. That said, untouchable, I'm curious how the interaction between J and this girl really went. A nice logical conversation just doesn't cut it in a bar. There's too much noise and too many aggro guys trying to cut in. An approach like this will get shut down. Did he touch her at all? The couple times I have had success meeting women at bars, I was more aggressive. I had my hands on the girl and I "made friends" with the girl's friends. It was fun, but as a way to meet women regularly, it felt a little sketchy to me too personally. Edited March 14, 2011 by Imajerk17
Jynxx Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 while i agree that ONSs can be crappy in their lack of deep satisfaction, it really isn't all that hard to get into. it's pretty easy if you're just looking to scratch an itch. 1.For women it isn't. 2.For moviestars or rockstars it isn't. 3.For people blessed with a georgeous body it isn't. 4.For people who instinctively know how to do it (pua's call these "naturals"), it isn't. For others, it's extremely tough. Let me put it this way: if every guy was born with the skills towards women that some men (group 4) have, then the whole pua scene wouldn't exist because there would be no need for it. Think about it: would a guy who knew how to behave around women and knew how to make them attracted to him spend hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars reading ebooks or sitting in seminars? Seems to me like many people lucky enough to be born a "natural" like to bring down people who need to work extremely hard to get the same results they do. That would be the same as a kid from rich parents mocking people who need to work 2 jobs in order to pay for their college education.
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 I watched about 30 seconds of the Mystery video, and couldn't be bothered listening to any more. I can imagine being in a bar, being cornered by somebody rambling on like that and listening out of politeness. If he started to get insulting, that would be a good opportunity to get out of the conversation. He just came across as a rambling bore with a host of issues. As for why your friend continually loses out to other men...well, if the moment another man cuts in and starts talking to the woman he just sits back and lets it happen, then he'll lose out every time. That's when being Mr Nice really doesn't pay off because it looks apathetic. If he tells the guy "nice isn't she? That's why I'm talking to her. Now f*ck off" as a guy I was talking to once did to a notorious local sleazebag, then that's going to score him major points. However, for a man to do that he has to be read for the risk of a) the woman saying "actually I want to talk to this guy, so why don't you f*ck off" b) a confrontation developing. I can understand that a lot of men would find that annoying and be of the view that women aren't worth taking those risks for. Which is fair enough, but I think given a choice between the two most women are going to opt for the guy who wants her enough to face off the competition. So is the problem here that the woman is too stupid to see that your friend was the better man, or is it that your friend is somebody who will rapidly back down from any competition presented by other men? You say this happens to him a lot when he goes out. If he's going to back down immediately every time, then he's a nice guy - but he's not a very bold one, and that'll go against him. I didn't watch the video at all, I just pulled the first thing off youtube that illustrated my point. The guy is a clown! I like your suggestion and I will pass it along to him. Chances are he won't take it though, because he is still bitter with me for getting us jumped by a bunch of guys late last year. Rather than go into the whole long story suffice it to say sometimes being confrontational has its drawbacks. I pick enough fights myself... I don't need women starting them for me. My GF keeps bugging me to take her out to a club, since she has never been to one. She is good looking enough that I know I will wind up in a fight. Ugh! Honestly it isn't about how into a woman you might be... it has much more to do with how much you like to hit people. It seems stupid to just go for the most aggressive guy out there. I can understand wanting a guy that will stick up for you... but not after 10 minutes of knowing you.
sally4sara Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 My GF keeps bugging me to take her out to a club, since she has never been to one. She is good looking enough that I know I will wind up in a fight. Ugh! I have never understood this. What is going to happen if you DON'T get in a fight? She going to HAVE to go home with them instead of you?
Taramere Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I didn't watch the video at all, I just pulled the first thing off youtube that illustrated my point. The guy is a clown! I like your suggestion and I will pass it along to him. Chances are he won't take it though, because he is still bitter with me for getting us jumped by a bunch of guys late last year. Rather than go into the whole long story suffice it to say sometimes being confrontational has its drawbacks. I pick enough fights myself... I don't need women starting them for me. My GF keeps bugging me to take her out to a club, since she has never been to one. She is good looking enough that I know I will wind up in a fight. Ugh! Honestly it isn't about how into a woman you might be... it has much more to do with how much you like to hit people. It seems stupid to just go for the most aggressive guy out there. I can understand wanting a guy that will stick up for you... but not after 10 minutes of knowing you. Well it's not really about whether the man is prepared to stick up for the woman. It's more about how he deals with other men behaving disrespectfully towards him.....because there's no doubt that it's disrespectful behaviour to cut in like that. A less confrontational approach for your friend would be to catch the woman's eye and make a mocking face in the guy's direction. A sort of "poor you, what a douche" look. If she responds with an "I know" sort of look, then your friend could say something like "I know she's nice, but she's with me. Happy hunting elsewhere, though" Which is more jokey and less confrontational.
Woggle Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Are they getting quality women? There are women who do their little moves and can have a man be putty in their hands but you have to ask yourself in either case if they are the kind of people you want. Let the game players have their fun and seek out quality partners. Also you should not be afraid to take your girlfriend out. I take my wife out all the time and if a man is dumb enough to hit on her right in front of her husband telling him to get lost is enough.
Emilia Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 My GF keeps bugging me to take her out to a club, since she has never been to one. She is good looking enough that I know I will wind up in a fight. Ugh! when I'm out with someone I'm seeing I know how to prevent any kind of confrontation: I only chat with the bartender and other men in our group, not with complete strangers. Surely your gf won't allow other men to chat her up? there should be no fights
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 I sense jealousy from the OP....who cares what other women do? If she's so stupid, you sound like you'd never be interested in her, so why does it matter what she falls for? I think you're just upset that a guy you don't have much respect for is getting laid and you aren't. I would bet money that I get laid more than that guy. I'm actually getting laid too much... but that is for another thread. I'm only going to say this once and never comment on it again. It bugs me a bit because the guy is very opposite of me, and reminds me of the sleezeball my xGF was cheating on me with last year. I do too. This OP is extremely concerned with the sexual activities (as he perceives them, anyway) of women who have no connection with him whatsoever. I suspect that he wants to be in the position of the "PUA" guys, having the upper hand with all the "slutty" girls. Why? With your vast knowledge of psychology and omniscience why don't you tell me why? I've had about 12 relationships in the last 13 years... during which time I have not spent more than 3 months in a row single. My friends tell me I always jump in too fast... but it's just how I do things. Am I jealous of PUA guys? Not really. I'm just consistently amazed that their stupid stuff works. Most don't really have backbone.
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 when I'm out with someone I'm seeing I know how to prevent any kind of confrontation: I only chat with the bartender and other men in our group, not with complete strangers. Surely your gf won't allow other men to chat her up? there should be no fights At bars that is exactly how she acts. She is used to bar style environments and can handle herself very well. A dance club on the other hand is a different story. I've seen guys pull guns. I had a guy try to shove me out of the way to dance with my GF(now x)... all kinds of crap. I think I just need to research and find the right club. My xGF that loved the clubs was AA and the clubs she preferred were rife with thug types. I'm just going to say... I think I can speak for most normal men and say I appreciate a woman than can be outgoing without being flirty.
threebyfate Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I'm sitting here a bit aghast that situations turn into physical fights with any confrontation. What kind of clubs do you guys frequent and what do you say to escalate the situation to physicality? The guy that gets the girl will be the one who can leave the other guy with no comeback. Better yet, leaving the other guy empty handed, not realizing what just happened.
Woggle Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 What kind of clubs do you go to? I have been in some pretty rough spots and I have never seen guns pulled. I have seen people having sex and doing drugs out in the open but not guns being pulled over a woman.
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 I'm sitting here a bit aghast that situations turn into physical fights with any confrontation. What kind of clubs do you guys frequent and what do you say to escalate the situation to physicality? The guy that gets the girl will be the one who can leave the other guy with no comeback. Better yet, leaving the other guy empty handed, not realizing what just happened. Last November I got in this guys face because he was being belligerent with someone I know. Maybe I was too confrontational... but he grabbed a bunch of friends and waited for us outside the bar. They rolled me from behind. There were too many so I just covered up while my friend and I got kicked. I hit one guy in the face really hard... but that's it. Before that my cousin and I got jumped by 6 black guys in an alley. One of the guys tried to grab my wallet. When I went to the police about it.. they threatened to arrest me because I'd been drinking. Still pissed about that. What kind of clubs do you go to? I have been in some pretty rough spots and I have never seen guns pulled. I have seen people having sex and doing drugs out in the open but not guns being pulled over a woman. Are you serious? Where I live is nothing compared to Jersey! You must be sheltered. I saw a guy pull a gun in the club. I don't know the situation that brought it on. Just a lot of yelling... then people trying to get out of the way.
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