Untouchable_Fire Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Ok, just got back from the bar with a few friends. I watched this girl go home with a guy that was an obvious pick-up artist. At first we kind of laughed about it... because they were sitting next to us and I could hear that the guy was just being a dick. I get home and the feeling of face palming is over. Who falls for that crap? Seriously? How can anyone be that bloody stupid? I figured maybe I was wrong and the guy just had charisma, he wasn't great looking at all. I looked up their tactics and this guy did it to a T. I've never actually watched a guy like this work. My friend who is better looking but takes a more respectful and honest approach got shut out by this guy. My question is this... How come these women can't see through it? and before someone chimes in that women prefer jerks... they don't. I just can't see why my friends more honest and respectful approach gets no play while captain PUA seems to do well?
TouchedByViolet Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 maybe she was looking for a ONS and said PUA seemed more keen on such practices
sally4sara Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 So the guy she went home with showed up and gave a BS seminar to the other guys at the bar?
starryeyed12 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Does a respectful and honest guy really just want play? If that's all he wants from a girl he meets then his approach of being respectful and honest is not the best tactic. Being honest about just wanting to bang someone is going to really turn a girl off! He should start learning the skills of picking up women if that is his intention. The pick-up guy has more confidence and probably initiated the conversation. He's able to pull the girl in and compliment her, get her comfortable and intrigued. Women love to be complimented in the right way at the right time. Nice guys seem to be in the shadow of this confidence. But let's face it, does a nice guy really just want play, or deep down does he want to find something a little more meaningful? When I think of a nice guy thats what comes to my mind. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to sleep around. Pick-up guy is picking up girls who probably aren't ready for someone to settle down with....that or they are a little loose... Is that what the nice guy secretly desires?
fishtaco Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Interesting. Watched the clip. Probably the second PUA "promo" clip I have ever watched. A lot of the basic "theory" that they talk about is already known. And I found them to be true. The 2nd clip that Mystery talked about how women are into men that other women appear to be interested in. That is a well known fact. Even women will tell their male friends... go get wingwomen when you go out. Because it works, period. And having been around the dating scene, I naturally do some of the stuff he talked about. But he takes it to the next level. Like that "locked in" position thing is interesting. They teach these "postures" to public speakers all the time too. It's not exclusive to just dating. As far as I'm concerned, I don't see anything wrong with learning how to posture while you speak. If it works in corporate meetings and job interviews, then it's good enough for approaching women too. The the douchy speech about how the woman he's with should be happy that he's giving her attention, I don't know about that. But he's the expert, I only have average amount of success. I think the PUA life style sucks. But I think everyone have something to learn from listening to what PUA "experts" have to say but only retain what makes sense to you. But usually they'll also want you to pay for it... well, then depending on the price I guess. There's a point where it's not worth the money, because you can learn the same just by asking some questions, doing some research, and going out and do some social experimenting on your own.
somedude81 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 PU is a science. It is designed, tested and refined to accomplish the goal if getting a girl to sleep with somebody. If the guy has the confidence and poise to go through the motions, it's no surprise that he gets results.
dispatch3d Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 A lot of these guys do something like 20 approaches a week. Meaning they hit on 20 girls a week every week. Your good looking friend probably hits on 8 girls a month. Just from sheer practice he doesn't have a hope in hell. Another thing working against him is these guys all get together and talk. So a bunch of guys who spend all their time picking up, get together and talk about picking up. He'd have a hard time beating that. As far as women seeing through it? Blah.
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 So the guy she went home with showed up and gave a BS seminar to the other guys at the bar? Not really. We were sitting next to a fairly nice looking girl and one of her friends. My friend J started chatting with her for a while, but this douche came over and kind of just cut in. She ignored my friend J for the rest of the evening. The only thing I can think of is that he may have failed to show enough interest in her. I suppose she could have been just looking for a ONS... in which case she picked the walking STD type? Another facepalm. So here is my question. Is my BullSh** detector just that much better than most women? Is there just a small minority of women who are just partly retarded? Or do they actually want a guy to just hump and dump?
runner Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Or do they actually want a guy to just hump and dump? having been on the recieveing end, yes, there are girls out there who just want to hump and dump
ConflictedGuy27 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 My question is this... How come these women can't see through it? you're asking the wrong question. try this one, "why did it work on her?" want to improve your success with women? then don't waste time trying to figure out why the sky is blue. for better or worse, women are attracted to some of those tactics (for a reason), understand why and use what works for you.
welikeincrowds Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 (edited) It's hard to take this guy seriously when this clip opens up with him equating women with children. EDIT: This guy has much better technique. Edited March 14, 2011 by welikeincrowds
threebyfate Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Men see through male b/s better. Women see through female b/s better. While both are generalities, they are applicable to most. I can see a woman subtley making moves on a guy, even if she's not hitting on him directly. The signals are as clear as day. Even online. You can observe it happening on LS. I can't always see through a guy until I get to know him better. And even then, some guys are very good at deception, like my ex-husband. The best deceivers are the ones who've fooled themselves, believing their own b/s. In this scenario, looks like the girl was looking for an ONS. So, she and the guy had the same wants and made a connection. That's why PUA works so well on some. Because they were already attracted. I mean seriously. Look at Mystery. Consider his monologue that included the story about his ex-girlfriend. She was trailer trash, even if she was hot. Even he agrees with that. So that's what he gets. For some of you guys, perhaps that's what you're looking for. So target trashy looking women who have self-esteem problems and you too can get laid. But if you're looking for anything long-term or real, good luck with PUA. It might give you the false confidence to approach but it can't and doesn't teach you how to have a viable relationship. Back when, when LS was originally invaded by a PUA site, some older members from that site came to apologize for their younger members. They openly acknowledged that PUA wasn't intended to help guys with relationships. It's strictly...approach. Untouchable Fire. You say you have a girlfriend. Why are you promoting PUA? Something doesn't jive.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 There is no denying that Pick Up Artists learn stuff that is applicable to real life dating situations. That being said, 25% of the stuff said in those dating "manuals" is pure misogyny.
musemaj11 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Men see through male b/s better. Women see through female b/s better. While both are generalities, they are applicable to most. Yup this is it. If you wanna judge the character of a person, ask the opinion of the opposite gender regarding that person. I can tell whether a guy is a good apple or not from miles away.
Author Untouchable_Fire Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 Untouchable Fire. You say you have a girlfriend. Why are you promoting PUA? Something doesn't jive. Promoting? That guy was a douche. I can't imagine that what he does works all that often. I have no interest in being like that guy. First of all, I am absolutely not into one night stands. I can see why some people want them... but to me they just seem stupid. As for my GF, she is awesome! I don't really like to talk about her much on this site because so many of the female posters hate on women who choose more traditional roles. Though my GF is currently working to build a career with no intent to give it up. Personally, I think it's her choice and I'm happy to support her either way.
Taramere Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Ok, just got back from the bar with a few friends. I watched this girl go home with a guy that was an obvious pick-up artist. You watched her go home with him? Unless you followed them to his or her home, and played fly on the wall in the bedroom, you have no idea what happened when that girl (and presumably her friend, unless she left her friend sitting alone in the bar like a lemon - which I'm sure would mean the end of that friendship) left the bar in the company of the guy. They might have gone to a club, a party...whatever else, or to one of the girl's homes...and the guy might have ended the night going home alone without having had sex. It's hardly unusual for women to meet up with guys, go clubbing with them but not have sex with them at the end of it. That's just socialising with the opposite sex, and it's part of a night out. Now I guess it's over to you to add on to your anecdote whatever arms and legs are necessary to add credibility to the assumptions you made about how this girl ended her evening.
fishtaco Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 But if you're looking for anything long-term or real, good luck with PUA. It might give you the false confidence to approach but it can't and doesn't teach you how to have a viable relationship. I have to disagree with this partially. PUA seems to encompass attraction first, then getting women to put out. I'm not a PUA, so I don't know. But attraction is step one no matter if you want ONS or long term relationship. If you're invisible, you are not going to get anything going no matter how awesome you are in bed or in a relationship. Attraction/dating and relationships are completely different beasts anyway, even without taking PUA into account. I doubt any PUA will claim to help you with relationships. So I feel PUA is useful, even to men that are looking for long term relationships. I mean it's not like because you watched a PUA video, you HAVE to do everything the guy said. Take what you found valuable, and incorporate that into your own approach. Like from watching that little clip from Mystery, I don't care for "treating women like children" thing, I don't care for "the speech" that he tells women how lucky they are to have his attention. But, I found the posturing while speaking interesting, I may look further into that. And it validates the common theory of women paying more attention to men surrounded by other women, which is something I've been doing for awhile already.
Chicago_Guy Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Pick-up guy is picking up girls who probably aren't ready for someone to settle down with....that or they are a little loose... Is that what the nice guy secretly desires? I agree. For all the OP knows, that girl could be a total slut who simply looking for a ONS with an a-hole.
Mrlonelyone Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I agree. For all the OP knows, that girl could be a total slut who simply looking for a ONS with an a-hole. The woman is not necessarily a "slut". You need to know someone for a while to know they are a slut/tramp.... know their history. Any woman can go out and look just to hump on a given night. Honest respectful men aren't who they want then. True life long sluts know they aren't relationship minded, don't care, and look for men of a similar persuasion. They too don't want honest respectful men.
jlola Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Women have their version of this too. It's called pick a man with low self esteem and then play up being a damsel. make him feel you are helpless and need him. Make him feel macho and strong. But then mess with his head by being completely unreliable when not around. cancel dates,don't answer phone all the time. So you dangle the carrot and show him you need him and flatter him when he is around. take carrot away and give him intermittent attention when you are not around. Both sexes can be played with games. I have seenmen I know to be highly intelligent get played by damsels they need to save. I lose all respect. Most times, the girl is not much to look at. That is why it stands out so much. Average girl,crazy games=PUA women's style. There was a book called "The Rules" which most guys called crazy and said it would never work. But those rules suck. Me, I can never lower myself to play damsel. Nope,I am not one of these tough women either. But I think a happy medium. Never would want a man who cannot see through these pathetic tactics.
Cee Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I've wanted to be hit on via classic PUA moves simply to see what it is like. But I'm not a 10-type woman so I doubt it would ever happen. I was in a situation once where it felt PUA-like. I sat down next to a guy at a bar. We were at a table where my friend was celebrating her birthday. Admittedly, he was good looking so I was intrigued. He talked me up in an aggressively, confident way. He was focused on me like a laser beam and didn't talk to the rest of the table. He wasn't capable of even the slightest bit of emotional depth. After 15 minutes of this, I felt suffocated and stopped talking to him. Maybe I would be duped by a person who had better finesse with PUA. But I don't think so. The approach sounds vapid to me. I prefer to get a glimpse of the inner life of a man rather than the shiny surface.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I have to disagree with this partially. PUA seems to encompass attraction first, then getting women to put out. I'm not a PUA, so I don't know. But attraction is step one no matter if you want ONS or long term relationship. If you're invisible, you are not going to get anything going no matter how awesome you are in bed or in a relationship. Attraction/dating and relationships are completely different beasts anyway, even without taking PUA into account. I doubt any PUA will claim to help you with relationships. So I feel PUA is useful, even to men that are looking for long term relationships. I mean it's not like because you watched a PUA video, you HAVE to do everything the guy said. Take what you found valuable, and incorporate that into your own approach. Like from watching that little clip from Mystery, I don't care for "treating women like children" thing, I don't care for "the speech" that he tells women how lucky they are to have his attention. But, I found the posturing while speaking interesting, I may look further into that. And it validates the common theory of women paying more attention to men surrounded by other women, which is something I've been doing for awhile already. bingo. I am not a PUA either; however I have read several attraction books, including Double Your Dates, by David DeAngelo. The literature is an impressive read, by and large. Does some of it qualify as misogynistic? Well maybe; but a lot of it is so spot on, its way more qualified as social science. The guys who know the mechanics of attraction, whether they're PUA's or not, are the guys who are successful with women and their behavior should be modeled by guys that need to improve. That said, I am no where near advocating that somebody practice that YouTube video initially posted; instead, I am merely supporting what fishtaco is saying - understanding attraction is the first step, regardless of your romantic intent. I learned much of my game from other guy friends of mine. In these books, there is a lot of universal cross over. bottom line: if you suck with women, you're an idiot if you write off all attraction techniques because of some lame video.
donnamaybe Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 maybe she was looking for a ONS and said PUA seemed more keen on such practices That's exactly what I was going to say!
GivenUp0083 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I sense jealousy from the OP....who cares what other women do? If she's so stupid, you sound like you'd never be interested in her, so why does it matter what she falls for? I think you're just upset that a guy you don't have much respect for is getting laid and you aren't.
betterdeal Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I tend to go with the have-a-good-time-doing-what-I-like-doing and if someone else likes doing it too and at some point we get naked and twiddle each other's knobs then that's fun too. We might even connect on a personal level and have sexy times some more. There are no rules.
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