kaysun Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 My STBX-W had a 14 month affair. The MM ended up testing positive for HIV. That's how I found out about the affair. It took three days for me to find out the results. In those three days, I spent most of the time wondering if my young kids, now 6 & 4, were going to be positive. I did find out that the first time they had sex, she barely knew him. Her words. She talked to him sparingly over the phone, for work purposes, and spent about 45 minutes talking to him the night they had sex. They never used protection that night. They never used protection in 14 months. My STBX-W has said that she never would put the kids in harm's way. The unprotected sex doesn't affect them. Thoughts?? Any other thoughts in regards to the kids that are unknowingly in the affair's wake?
Carrot2000 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 My brother and his wife died of HIV and left 4 kids behind; your STBX's actions could have cost the kids both of their parents. Yet she doesn't see how having unprotected sex affects them. Is she serious? Your STBX is bat**** crazy.
WorldIsYours Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 My STBX-W had a 14 month affair. The MM ended up testing positive for HIV. That's how I found out about the affair. It took three days for me to find out the results. In those three days, I spent most of the time wondering if my young kids, now 6 & 4, were going to be positive. I did find out that the first time they had sex, she barely knew him. Her words. She talked to him sparingly over the phone, for work purposes, and spent about 45 minutes talking to him the night they had sex. They never used protection that night. They never used protection in 14 months. My STBX-W has said that she never would put the kids in harm's way. The unprotected sex doesn't affect them. Thoughts?? Any other thoughts in regards to the kids that are unknowingly in the affair's wake? I'm so sorry for everything you went through. I read all of your threads and it's safe to say that your wife never was and never will be remorseful for her actions. She'll never be remorseful for hurting herself, and putting you at risk for STDs. She's a changed woman and I'm glad you're being a man and divorcing her. People get so offended on an internet site yet they do behavior as sick as your wife's actions. Disgusting. She sounds like she has some mental issues. Fourteen months of unprotected sex and no pregnancy? You sure she never took money out for an abortion or something during her affair?
whichwayisup Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 My brother and his wife died of HIV and left 4 kids behind; your STBX's actions could have cost the kids both of their parents. Yet she doesn't see how having unprotected sex affects them. Is she serious? Your STBX is bat**** crazy. I thought the same thing. Death affects the kids. Her having HIV WILL affect the kids, her suffering and other illnesses/ailments that go with it, getting sick and weak. Take care of you and your kids.
Author kaysun Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 I'm so sorry for everything you went through. I read all of your threads and it's safe to say that your wife never was and never will be remorseful for her actions. She'll never be remorseful for hurting herself, and putting you at risk for STDs. She's a changed woman and I'm glad you're being a man and divorcing her. People get so offended on an internet site yet they do behavior as sick as your wife's actions. Disgusting. She sounds like she has some mental issues. Fourteen months of unprotected sex and no pregnancy? You sure she never took money out for an abortion or something during her affair? I can't say 100% but I don't think so. I also don't know if he paid for it. She just said she was confident in her birth control. She was on birth control because we weren't sure if we wanted another child. I had a consultation about a vasectomy but we didn't want to make that big of a decision. In April of 2010 she asked if we could try for another baby. In May of 2010 I found out about the affair.
What_Next Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Her actions were absoutely, without a shadow of a doubt reckless, stupid, selfish, and any other adjective you could label them with. I assume you are 100% sure you are OK correct? How are things progressing with the divorce?
WorldIsYours Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I can't say 100% but I don't think so. I also don't know if he paid for it. She just said she was confident in her birth control. She was on birth control because we weren't sure if we wanted another child. I had a consultation about a vasectomy but we didn't want to make that big of a decision. In April of 2010 she asked if we could try for another baby. In May of 2010 I found out about the affair. She got some nerve talking to you about more kids while she's cheating. Yuck.:sick:
Author kaysun Posted March 17, 2011 Author Posted March 17, 2011 Her actions were absoutely, without a shadow of a doubt reckless, stupid, selfish, and any other adjective you could label them with. I assume you are 100% sure you are OK correct? How are things progressing with the divorce? For a divorce, things are progressing as well as they can. The kids make it very, very hard. My little girl keeps asking why we can't be a family. Both my kids keep talking about doing things this summer as a family. They both cry about us not being together. Very tough in that regard.
WorldIsYours Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 For a divorce, things are progressing as well as they can. The kids make it very, very hard. My little girl keeps asking why we can't be a family. Both my kids keep talking about doing things this summer as a family. They both cry about us not being together. Very tough in that regard. I know it is hard for them, but you guys'll make it. Hang in there.
jnj express Posted March 17, 2011 Posted March 17, 2011 Your wife really is an idiot----she put her own flesh and blood kids in harms way when she had sex with a man she knew nothing about---HIV is passed thru body fluids---she could easily pass it if she had contacted it Does your wife think seeing the kids passed back and forth from you to her, after you are finally divorced, is not hurtful to them Does your wife think that they won't have psych problems based on what she has caused to happen Your wife kept her job cuz she probably knew all along this would go to divorce and she needed her job for her own future She wrecked 2 families, and hurt innocent people all over the place---and she can forgive herself---your wife is a pathetic POS---sorry but its true
Binster Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Sorry things are still bad for you, do her family know the full story surley they must be shocked at such stupid behaviour.
ver13 Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 Sorry for your troubles bro as long as U tested NEG for HIV at least the kids have someone that they can rely on in the future to help them along the way. IMO the D is a good thing for all and it will be a struggle to have to deal with your xW but no worries U can do bad by yourself you don't need any help from someone like her. Just keep your kids in mind in all things that you do and it will work out for the best. U have already taken the first step in insuring that they will be happy your moving on to a better life.
Author kaysun Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 Sorry things are still bad for you, do her family know the full story surley they must be shocked at such stupid behaviour. Her immediate family has the "cliff notes" version of the story. She told them, with me there, the next morning. Her mom about passed out when she heard it. The first thing out of her mom's mouth was, "how could you"? She immediately looked at me and asked if I could ever forgive her. My STBX-W hasn't yet told her grandparents, or even close friends, yet of why we're divorcing. She doesn't want anyone to know. Her own mom has told me that she looks at her daughter differently now. She said she never thought that was possible. Her parents and I were real close. They have told me, after we signed divorce papers, that I'll always be their son-in-law even if I'm not married to their daughter. Her mom has tried to talk me into reconciling a few times. I've told her I can't and out of respect for her, I won't tell her everything she did. She's first and foremost a parent to her daughter. I don't want to change their relationship anymore than it already has.
Author kaysun Posted March 18, 2011 Author Posted March 18, 2011 ya, well your STBX put the kids in harms way whether she wants to admit it or not. If I am understanding you correctly, did she give you HIV? If so, I am so sorry this has happened to you and I think your wife and this MM should be tried for manslaughter and put in prison. how is it you think they may be infected? Did all this happen before she got pregnant? well how is it that Thankfully, I'm negative.
WorldIsYours Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Her mom has tried to talk me into reconciling a few times. I've told her I can't and out of respect for her, I won't tell her everything she did. She needs to give her daughter a butt-kicking instead of trying to convince you to reconcile with someone who put her own family at risk for death. She's first and foremost a parent to her daughter. I don't want to change their relationship anymore than it already has. True. Hang in there, buddy. We know it's hard for you, but keep on living by any means.
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