tincanman99 Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 No offense to the men on the board as I am a guy but what is up with the constant analyzing of these so-called dating imbalances? I continually read these posts from guys talking about women having the following: *More options *Their power *Why do they have to pursue them *Why do they have to be ones to open their mouth *On and on... I am not saying I am perfect and dont have some issues of my own but why even bother analyzing this? Its not productive and gets you no where. Its like asking why is the sky blue? Can you do anything about it? No. This is the dynamics of how it is. If you want the girl, you open your mouth. You dont want to open your mouth, well than you are alone. Trust me about this as I know a lot about the not opening your mouth part . Buck up and time to get down to business... not much else to say.
carhill Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Yeah, where are all the sexless marriage guys? Now that's some serious shyte to be whining about
depplover_1980 Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Well it is a relationship forum hey hey...
fishtaco Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 That's an interesting point. But you know what I always wonder about? Why women have more options, and their power, and why I have to pursue them. Well, you're right in the sense that these are interesting sociological debates, but they are useless when it comes to practical application. Knowing why women do certain things won't help you one bit. The only thing that counts is being able to detecting it, and knowing what you're supposed to to respond to it. Hence I always say pattern recognition. And for every pattern that you recognize, have an answer for it. The "why" is interesting, but won't provide anything other than an interesting theoretical debate. But I think if that's what people want to do, that's perfectly fine. Although I have a suspicion the threads were started as more than just purely theoretical debates.
somedude81 Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Boredom and it lets me vent about my frustrations. Every now and then a poster, usually a woman, has an issue with something I said because my complaining has somehow offended her. The little back and forth is usually fun, and it feels nice to know that somebody noticed me, even if all they want to do is argue.
Titania22 Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Boredom and it lets me vent about my frustrations. Every now and then a poster, usually a woman, has an issue with something I said because my complaining has somehow offended her. The little back and forth is usually fun, and it feels nice to know that somebody noticed me, even if all they want to do is argue. I notice you somedude.
Mark11 Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Like Somedude said, it lets us vent our frustrations. Because it's not in our best interests to do it in person in real life. Although you don't empathize with us, and not saying you have to or you should. You have to admit that those are some good points and that they are unfair to men in the dating game. It's not rocket science.
Author tincanman99 Posted March 13, 2011 Author Posted March 13, 2011 Its not that I dont hear what the men are saying, I do hear it. But its not productive to even think about it. It just builds angst and anger. And this rattles around in your brain. Sooner or later you will verbalize it at the wrong time. Its like everything else in life - is the glass 1/2 empty or 1/2 full. How you approach it will determine how you feel about it. If you view it negatively or dwell on imbalances it will influence you. I look at it a bit differently - its the law of supply and demand. Women are the supply and men are the demand. Women are very much in demand and the supply is limited so it essentially forces prices up (or gives them options as you like to say). What thing in life is not like this? Nothing I can think of. I think you all will be better off figuring out how to get the girl than worrying about the imbalances. That means working on your body, your personality and your communication skills. The rest will fall in line by itself many times. I highly recommend that you 1. you stop putting women on a pedestal and 2. view them as people. I have some very close female friends, I have never slept with them nor hit them. I am just their friend but by being close friends with them you get to see them when they are up/down, horny, happy, sad, etc... you will realize they are people like everyone else and you will relax in their presence. Women find this very attractive especially if you work on improving yourself. Now go do it.
GooseChaser Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 How are women supposed to empathize and understand men's emotions when men keep their emotions secret in public?
threebyfate Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Women have dating challenges and so do men. Attraction isn't based on equity and I've yet to meet anyone who's willing to mercy date.
irc333 Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 You're missing the point in the function and the sole purpose that this forum provides.....it provides people to post about these VERY things you just listed (and then some). To not post it, would defeat the purpose of even having a dating/relationshp forum. Its not that I dont hear what the men are saying, I do hear it. But its not productive to even think about it. It just builds angst and anger. And this rattles around in your brain. Sooner or later you will verbalize it at the wrong time. Its like everything else in life - is the glass 1/2 empty or 1/2 full. How you approach it will determine how you feel about it. If you view it negatively or dwell on imbalances it will influence you. I look at it a bit differently - its the law of supply and demand. Women are the supply and men are the demand. Women are very much in demand and the supply is limited so it essentially forces prices up (or gives them options as you like to say). What thing in life is not like this? Nothing I can think of. I think you all will be better off figuring out how to get the girl than worrying about the imbalances. That means working on your body, your personality and your communication skills. The rest will fall in line by itself many times. I highly recommend that you 1. you stop putting women on a pedestal and 2. view them as people. I have some very close female friends, I have never slept with them nor hit them. I am just their friend but by being close friends with them you get to see them when they are up/down, horny, happy, sad, etc... you will realize they are people like everyone else and you will relax in their presence. Women find this very attractive especially if you work on improving yourself. Now go do it.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Well it is a relationship forum hey hey... This^. But whining has become the new American national pastime. When I watch TV I have to keep the remote in my hand and my finger on the mute button to silence the droning of the pissing and moaning. Ever see that commercial done in that special animation technique where the middle aged geezer starts off with "..these financial services companies blah, blah, blah.." and then he whines "..a vineyard? Gimme a break." Christ I'm so tired of hearing people whine like that. Whine, whine, whine. The American way. Knock, knock. Who's there? Whine.
Kamille Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 I highly recommend that you 1. you stop putting women on a pedestal and 2. view them as people. Hear hear! I have some very close female friends, I have never slept with them nor hit them. Ooooh! My grandma would deem you to be great marriage material! :laugh: Women have dating challenges and so do men. Attraction isn't based on equity and I've yet to meet anyone who's willing to mercy date. I was thinking of saving this one for the next nice guy thread, but here it goes: A women's job when dating isn't to reward or punish men for being naughty or nice. We're not your mother, your teacher or Santa Claus. Dating (or hooking up with) someone shouldn't seen as some prize. Life isn't an action movie. Whether you date or hook up, what you're doing is merely interacting with another human being. Treat them as such.
somedude81 Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Dating (or hooking up with) someone shouldn't seen as some prize. Life isn't an action movie. Whether you date or hook up, what you're doing is merely interacting with another human being. Treat them as such. It's easy to say that when you've been winning. For the guys who do poorly with women, it's impossible to not see them or the things they give as prizes. Heck, a guy who does really bad with women, often thinks of himself as a loser.
GoodOnPaper Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Dating (or hooking up with) someone shouldn't seen as some prize. True, but don't think it's simply an ego-boost thing -- at least for some of us, it's deeper than that. This "prize" notion is not easy to rid yourself of if your path to acceptance and validation comes from sex/intimacy/relationships. We all have a weakness when it comes to validation -- for some people, it could be money or professional status or material things or something else that means the most. On a relationship forum, I would expect to have a lot of people whose self worth stems largely from attracting partners and/or their intimate relationships. When you are unsuccessful at attraction and that's your validation trigger, you constantly question your value even when other parts of your life are "successful". Whether you date or hook up, what you're doing is merely interacting with another human being. Treat them as such. This is going to sound dense, but this advice has become so cliched that I'm not sure that I know exactly what it means. I understand the idea of not putting a woman on a pedestal. How else are we not treating women like human beings?
threebyfate Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I was thinking of saving this one for the next nice guy thread, but here it goes: A women's job when dating isn't to reward or punish men for being naughty or nice. We're not your mother, your teacher or Santa Claus. Dating (or hooking up with) someone shouldn't seen as some prize. Life isn't an action movie. Whether you date or hook up, what you're doing is merely interacting with another human being. Treat them as such.Love...it!!!
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