lulu2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Is there anyone out there that has forgiven and accepted their spouse again after their spouse has had a love affair? I just found out this week that my husband has been having a long distance love affair with another woman for a little less than a year. We have been separated for 2 months but I didn’t know he had this relationship. He got caught red handed and now our separation quickly turned into a divorce. We have started the divorce already, and it has been very ugly. He is going to suffer financially, professionally, and personally with his child. He is very remorseful and in a lot of pain and guilt for what he has become. I am angry and very betrayed. Anyone out there ever give their spouse a second chance like this? How did you do it, and why did you do it?
WorldIsYours Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Is there anyone out there that has forgiven and accepted their spouse again after their spouse has had a love affair? I just found out this week that my husband has been having a long distance love affair with another woman for a little less than a year. We have been separated for 2 months but I didn’t know he had this relationship. He got caught red handed and now our separation quickly turned into a divorce. We have started the divorce already, and it has been very ugly. He is going to suffer financially, professionally, and personally with his child. He is very remorseful and in a lot of pain and guilt for what he has become. I am angry and very betrayed. Anyone out there ever give their spouse a second chance like this? How did you do it, and why did you do it? I take it you're having small thoughts of reconciliation?
Author lulu2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Author Posted March 14, 2011 Yes I am. Not sure if I want to open that door.
Dad_of_3 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I honestly think give yourself some time to think this through. Where's the fire? I dont think you can make a best decision if you are still reelimg from the anger and hurt. Is the marriage worth saving? Well ultimately only youncan answer that question. For me I walked away from the marriage knowing i had done everything in my power to fix things up. No we didnt end up patching things up, but i could walk away knowing in myslef that i had honestly done my bit. I had no control over my ex and what she thought and felt. But no 2 people are alike but i must say if you even have a inkling of it working, seek counselling. Seek professional help, look within yourself for what you wish and what your happiness entails as well. My best wishes to you! Keep posting
PegNosePete Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 Why did you separate, if not because of the affair?
Linda9999 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I found out exactly one year ago yesterday that my husband was cheating. We are in the process of reconciling. It is a long and rocky road, but worth it if both parties are willing. I could not do it if he wasn't remorseful and wasn't able to put up with the damage it caused to me. One year later and we are nowhere near over the devastation. I have done a lot of reading, and 2 years seems to be the minimum amount of time it takes for a betrayed spouse to heal. When I found out, I kicked him out and we lived apart for 5 months. Right now is no time for you or he to be jumping into a divorce. You cannot make a decision like that right now. Get yourself into some counseling and find clarity - it took me 3 months after I kicked him out and some intense counseling sessions before I knew I wanted to try and recover with him instead of without him. You also need to realize that your marriage will never be the same. Hopefully it will be better, but it won't be the same. Ours is better overall, in no small part because of the work he is doing, but it's not the same at all.
rugbyplayer1990 Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 It's hard but it can be done with love and respect.. How are things going Lulu?
Roadlesstaken Posted March 20, 2011 Posted March 20, 2011 Is there anyone out there that has forgiven and accepted their spouse again after their spouse has had a love affair? I just found out this week that my husband has been having a long distance love affair with another woman for a little less than a year. We have been separated for 2 months but I didn’t know he had this relationship. He got caught red handed and now our separation quickly turned into a divorce. We have started the divorce already, and it has been very ugly. He is going to suffer financially, professionally, and personally with his child. He is very remorseful and in a lot of pain and guilt for what he has become. I am angry and very betrayed. Anyone out there ever give their spouse a second chance like this? How did you do it, and why did you do it? I would never have given my ex husband a second chance because he was very ugly with me when I found out about his affair. It's good that your husband is remorseful. My ex has never been remorseful and I doubt he feels guilty because he is very selfish. Just take things slow.
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