Mrlonelyone Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 In times past I have had a profile on Adult Friend Finder and was able to get lots of interest from men and women. Without sending out a message I would get a dozen or so messages. Yet now on Eharmony, and plenty of fish, I have sent out hundreds of messages and only gotten a handful of replies. In real life it seems the only people who have any mutual interest in me are in relationships already. While those who are not are never interested. My question: Are some people just pegged as being good material for a fling or affair and nothing more?
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 13, 2011 Author Posted March 13, 2011 No one has any idea why this is going on?
fishtaco Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 (edited) My question: Are some people just pegged as being good material for a fling or affair and nothing more? I believe, just my personal belief, that instead of certain people being pegged as a type, we sort of have a... fate, or destiny. That's kind of over dramatic way of saying it, but I don't know what words to use. Sort of like in the path of your life, you'll tend to encounter these sort of things more than others. Almost like predestination, except without all the god stuff. Like if our lives were infinite, then we will eventually experience all facets of life equally. But our lives are short, so due to randomness, we end up having a bunch of these types of experiences, but not much of those other types of experiences, by the time we kick the bucket. Like you flip the coin 4 times, and you got 3 heads, and you go, "WTF! But when you flipped the coin 4 times, you got 3 tails. What gives!!" I'm the opposite compared to you. Only relationship minded women seem to be interested in me. I was never able to "play". And women tend to like me only after becoming friends with me. But, I don't like that. I intentionally don't become friends with women I'm interested in, because I don't believe in mixing the two. So you can say given the fact that I keep flipping tails, I act like I should be getting heads, so I'm making my life harder for myself. And no I was not making any sort of sexual innuendos. I'm sure our actions and our choices have something to do with it. But the whole thing is so complex, it just feels like there's something else way bigger than life driving. And even with the wiggle room our choices can control, you still can't really fight it. Since I'm agnostic, I call the driving force randomness/probability. I'm sure other people would use supernatural explanations. Something like that. This is something I've felt, but never had to put it to words, so my post was probably pretty confusing. Edited March 13, 2011 by fishtaco
eurogirlxl Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Well they want affair or fling because they are not satisfied to their partner.. just wait and someone single and ready to mingle will come your way By the way i am new to this forum and i came from Amsterdam 4 months ago looking for new friend
carhill Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 OP, do you see this same dynamic in real life encounters? I ask because online 'dating' or 'meeting' can generate different perceptions, expectations and stereotypes. Having seen pictures of you as a woman and a man, I could see how *some* women could stereotype you as a playa, when viewing your profile online. Those same women might react completely differently if meeting you for the first time in real life, with no prior interaction or knowledge. Perhaps your 'aura' doesn't translate well to online dating, at least for the purposes you wish it for. Is that a life sentence? I doubt it. Myself, women end up vomiting out their life stories on first dates or meetings or 'whatever' (the married ones), so my aura must appear to be that of a gentle and accepting receptacle for their stuff. Whenever I've used it, I've always had good luck with online dating, as far as meeting people that way, going all the way back to the mid-90's. That hasn't translated well into relationship or marital success (met my exW online) but that isn't an indictment of the process; it did its job. I personally think you'll have more success in real life, if you come across IRL the way you do through your postings. If you ever want a 'fling', AFF will always be there
fishtaco Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 So AFF actually works? I've always thought that was just a scam site.
Newwaveofgoodtidings Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 So AFF actually works? I've always thought that was just a scam site. That is what is actually going on! AFF, Horneymatches, sexsearch are all quite quite fake. My husband who would've generated very low results on either dating or sex sites got a huge amount of response without so much as a picture. There are plenty of BS profiles and contacts to give a guy tons of hope, keep that membership going and just fork it over. There are also plenty of scammer women who message for a casual encounter and then get a guy to pay upfront for one of send money to get country to help get her over here for some "fun." so many guys looking for hookups only think with one part of their anatomy. Many of the men using the sex sites have socially isolated themselves so they are willing to take almost any hope to get themselves laid, even if it proves to be a dire longshot. Many of the women's profiles are gorgeous as well, that right there should tell you something. If a girl like that wants to have a cheap fling, she would only have to go for a short walk in the park, start a random conversation and then perhaps smile, she isn't going to go online for hours and chat with a guy that is sitting in his apartment wanking, unless there is something seriously wrong with her. In that case, you probably don't want her in your apartment. It floors me how many guys get taken by thus kind of stuff. Eharmony etc. guarantees to match you better with a potential mate, there aren't going to be as many out there as there are scammers in sex sites. Be bloody careful online!
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 13, 2011 Author Posted March 13, 2011 @carhill Yes I have seen this dynamic in real life. When I meet a woman who's available they never seem to have any interest. The women who show any interest are always taken. It's enough to make me drop being free and available as criteria for pursuing a woman. @fishtaco AFF does work not everyone there is a scammer. Eharmony, match, etc all of them have some scammers on them too. In years past I did meet a couple women off of there. I was living in a small town going to college and did not have the inclination to have a relationship. @newwaveofgoodtidings I have been matched by them with about 400 women. I archived about 1/3 of them due to incompatibilities I saw in their profiles. Of the hundreds of women I have messaged only a handful have replied. This is with a number of those women looking at my profile day after day but never replying to my communication. Either they are terminally timid, or I don't know what.
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