livingmylife Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Hey, I'm new here but, I could use some opinions and advice. I'm a 19 year old girl & there's this guy who is also 19. We both went to high school together. We never acknowledged one another though because I've always been and still am the shy, quiet, type & he is loud, friendly, and outgoing. Back when I first created a facebook profile during my first year in college, he was one of the first people to add me. Anyway, with time he would end up "liking" a lot of my statuses & I "liked" a lot of his. We would also have a lot of comments on each other's statuses. One time, I sent him a message on the facebook chat & we talked for about 3 hours straight. Then, we exchanged numbers & texted all through the night till about 4 in the morning. We wouldn't talk often more like every now & then but, usually when we did, it'd be for hours. With time, I learned that he wasn't just the loud, funny, guy who was always making sexual jokes but, he showed me that he could talk about serious stuff too & that he's smart & intellectual. We talked about almost anything from school, music, sports, to more serious things like our career goals. What sucked was that I was always the one initiating the conversation. If I didn't initiate it, then I didn't hear from him. Anyway, some time went by & we didn't talk for a long time. Then, one day he asked me for my number on facebook because he had just gotten a new phone & didn't have his contacts. I jokingly told him that I had forgetten that I had his number & he jokingly prentended to be hurt because there had been various times when we talked for hours & he couldn't understand how I could "forget" that. We talked for a bit that day & then months went by & we didn't talk at all. Now, recently (about a month ago) he asked for my number again (he had a new phone number) & we exchanged a few text messages. After that, we didn't talk at all. Then, just a couple of days ago...I texted him. We texted practically the whole day from about 7:30 in the morning to like 5:30 pm. He told me that I'm someone who's cool enough to get intimate with (in other words, have sex with). I asked if this was a joke & he said "No" & that he was just "putting it out there". What I find odd about this is that he is known for flirting with girls in a sexual manner & telling sexual jokes but he never directed them at me. I thought he saw me as just plain ol' me. The other thing is, we live in the same neighborhood but haven't seen each other in a LONG time (about a year, maybe more). All we see of each other is pictures on facebook. During, this conversation he also mentioned that he wants me to text him every morning and that he'll try not to distract me while I'm in class. He also said that he fits the description of the type of guys I like (since I told him what it was after he asked). I texted him the next day and he still kept joking about us having sex. In the past though, he has told me that he loves how I always get his jokes, that he thinks I'm a genuine person, that I'm a cool person, that I'm smart and have potential. Problem is, there are times when he'll leave me hanging in the conversation & not reply back to last message I send him for whatever reason. A friend of mine seems to think that he has a crush on me & that he likes me. She thinks it's all been there but, he's just now showing it or saying it. Before her, this other girl also thought he "liked" me but, they don't know him personally so they don't know how flirtatious he is with females. I texted him on Monday morning but we didn't talk much because he had to work. So, on Tuesday...I'll admit, I had the urge to text him but, I didn't. Turns out that just as I was done with class, he texted me. We talked for about 3 hours & in that conversation he didn't make any sexual jokes at all but at one point he admitted that at times he does try to get into my head. Not in the sense where he tries to manipulate me but more like he tries to figure out what I'm thinking or feeling. I asked him why & he said "It's complicated" I said "please elaborate" & he said "it's too much too explain" I said "Well make it short" & he said "no lol". On Wednesday, I texted him. We talked and I told him I was feeling sick and he said I needed some TLC. I also asked him about the question he wouldn't answer for me the day before and he said that just because I wanted an answer it didn't mean I was going to get one. So, I asked more nicely saying "please" and stuff like that & all he said was "Can we drop it?" So, I said "fine ok" and he told me not to take it personal because once he felt like he could put it into words without sounding weird or crazy, he'd tell me. (Who knows when that'll be or what it means). Then, I joked about how I'm kind of like his "wake up call" since I always text him in the morning and he said that I pretty much was. I told him I'd stop doing that but all he said "Lol its alright. I don't mind" Later on, he started telling me how he was in the "mood" (for lack of a better word lol) and he said that he could have me for breakfast. I told him to stop playing and to go eat his real breakfast and all he said was "but a regular breakfast will be no fun". Then for the rest of the conversation we just joked back and forth. I also told him that I'm going to stop being his "wake up" call but, I don't think he took me seriously. We also texted a bit on Thursday and on Friday I texted him but we didn't talk much. Hardly at all. I sent him a last message after my last class & he never replied. I went to bed early on Friday (like around 9:30) because I wasn't feeling well and then at like 11:30 I was awakened by a text message. I thought it was my friend (who's a girl) but it was him. We talked for about an hour (about sports) and then I fell asleep. It's funny because in the past if I sent him a text message there were often times when he wouldn't reply at all and just leave me hanging but now it seems like he's replying more often even if it does take him a while to get back to me. I'm not saying that means anything but it's something I've noticed. As I mentioned before, a friend of mine seems to think that he likes me but is just confused about what he wants. What do you guys think is going on with him? Is he looking at me as nothing but a friend?
ReturnToSender Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Im really only responding cause I know it sucks to not get a reply, but to be honest, I have no clue. Without really knowing this guy, its all speculation what hes thinking or feeling or whats going on with him...know what I mean? Maybe hes shy, maybe hes persuing someone else, maybe he likes you but has reservations for whatever reason, maybe he sees you as a friend and can tell youre interested in more than that so keeping it cool, I could go on for awhile..point is, it could be anything. Sorries....totally clueless here.
MarlyStar Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 What do you want from him? Do you want him as a boyfriend, a committed relationship, a friend, what are you looking for. Start there and see if he fits in. Texting is not a relationship. It's not even really a friendship. It's nothing but a time killer and maybe an ego stroker. You live in the same neighborhood and haven't even seen each other in a year or so? You don't chat on the phone voice to voice. No face to face, no voice to voice, no give and take. People aren't responding because there's nothing here of meaning. It's hard enough to know what people mean when you see them regularly face to face, but when interaction is purely through texting it's impossible because there is no meaning. Texting has it's place, but it tells you nothing. I doubt he has a crush on you because he hasn't seen or spoken with you. What's there to crush on? I doubt he finds you mysterious and unfathomable and is compelled to figure you out because why at this point would he care. Texting is not a relationship. I think he's just killing time and enjoying the attention he gets from receiving your texts. And he's 19, sex talk is what 19 year old males do. Probably doing sexting with as many girls as will text back. So ask yourself what you want from him. And then put it out there. You apparently know him well enough to suggest meeting in real life or moving to real talk on the phone. If he doesn't want to do that, there's your answer. Or are you okay texting endlessly? WHat do you want from him?
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