heartbrokengrl Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 I posted here a week ago, here's the old thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t268302/ Basically, he broke up with me a week ago saying he got out of a 8 year relationship and was still in a mess and doesn't think he has any love to give. We've been together for over 2 months. I did NC for 5 days when he sent me an e-card that said he missed me which I ignored. The day after that sent me an e-mail saying how he was scared and how everyone was right that he wasn't ready to move on but that he misses me and can see us together for a long time and hope it's not too late. I ended up calling him right after I read it and that night (night of the earthquake in Japan and there was a tsunami warning here in Hawaii). He contacted me that night saying how he was worried about me and if he could pick me up so I was safe, etc..I ended up staying at home with my roommate but I asked him to see him the next day which was last night. So last night we hung out and he twirled me around like he always does and kissed me and told me how he's missed me and that the 6 days NC, he had written so many e-mails to me saying how much he missed me but never sent them and wrote out all the things he likes about me and all the things he misses which I never will get to read lol. He had a keepsafe box I gave him opened up with our photo in it on his desk that he never used to leave open before. When he started to kiss me more I asked "what are we doing" and then he looked sad saying he wished he was sober to have this conversation and said that he was scared and he hasn't been single and even thought about seeing other people but nobody in mind. I didn't cry or beg, but I told him how I felt about us and how we're so good together and neither of us are trying to rush anything but that we can simply enjoy being together. He said how weird it'd be when we end up sitting across the bar from each other with our new lives and I told him how awful that thought was and told him I want to be the girl sitting next to him. He then said he wanted us to stay together. (it's hard to have these conversation when he's drinking, but I understand since he worked all week and likes to relax on the weekends). Anyway, I know he truly cares about me, but I think he's scared. I don't want to pressure him in anyway, and I want to let him take his time for his heart to grow again. We don't fight at all, he says im perfect and sweet, but that he doesn't want to hurt me and panicked when things started to get serious. I just want to enjoy being with him, I know people have breaking points and doubts, but I wish there was some way he wouldn't be so scared in being with me. I told him it's confusing to me to break up with me and then send me an e-mail that says he hopes it's not too late, which he said he should have never sent. Right now, we're still together, but I feel so lost I guess. We truly care about each other, maybe timing is off, and it's been over 5 months since their break-up, he's still in angry about what happened between them, but I wish he would open his heart to me. I know it's a risk to stay with him, that it's just prolonging the hurt, but I want to wait and give him a chance to grow naturally with me within time. Am I being stupid? I've written an e-mail but it's only saved as a draft, was thinking about sending it to him in a couple days basically saying how I felt and if he wanted this to work, should I not, and just spend the days we have together enjoying ourselves and not pressuring? Today is Saturday and he finds lots of things to do during the weekends as he has many roommates to hang out with and projects he works on like fixing up cars, and likes his space, etc..as for me, I have a lot of time on my hands lol He can go days without calling me, he's not much of a phone talker tho, so I may not even see him this entire weekend and if he doesn't reach out to me, I may send that e-mail on Monday? Sorry this is so long, I'm just confused but hopeful.
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