Views on my situation. am i wrong or was he

[Lionblue92]

I pretty much just want some general views about my situation. Ive asked a few friends their views:

 

 

Heres the background information- Im 18, my ex is turning 19 in May. Anyway we were dating for about two months, in those two months we were very serious. He has an ex girlfriend that he dated for about two years. She currently lives in California for college. They broke up because she had sex with someonelse while they were together. He says because he had emotionally left her previously in the relationship. (still n excuse to cheat) anyway, that was in may. I guess they eventually decided to still be cool. I just got with him in Janurary. I dont think they talked often, as a matter of fact I know they didnt talk at all while him and I were dating, until recently when he wished her a happy birthday.

 

He knew that I would never be comfortable with him talking to her on a regular basis, or other girls,as a matter of fact. an ex is an ex for a reason. And he respected that and didnt have much desire to talk to her. Now dont get me wrong, she is a very pretty girl, quite narcissitic, but I am also a pretty gir.

 

The past week before last friday, we werent really getting along that well. reasons were because I was starting to get upset for small reasons, because i thought i could. lol. but by this time the control had switched anyway and all he'd do is become annoyed with me, where as before hed beg for my attenton etc. anyway, last friday we were on the phone and i happened to goto his ex's page (we arent friends on the book, it was just open) and she posted a status. saying "all stalkers, get the **** on" and he commented

 

"stop talking about yourself." from there on, she commented back "*GASP* shuttt uppp dont put me on blasstt! And sorry about thee ovoo date . I`ve been sleepin n workin . We can do it tomorrow when im off . I think i can do it off my Ipod :-)"

 

him- "Too late! N its kool I wasn't trippin, but yeah you actually can do it on the pod."

 

she replies- "ok text it soon cuz we gotta talk=p"

and he replied, will do.

 

Ok so after readng this i obviously was disturbed an I strongly feel like, why r u tryin to ovo (skype) your ex all of a sudden? WHO cheated on u? she lives all the way in cali!! i mean really, that makes no sense. Who in their right mind would risk their relationship like that.

 

anyway, as much as i wanted to go offright there, i waited. i decided id do it in person when i saw him the next day. unfortunately i couldnt holdit in. so, hewas at work that night so i knew i could not call, or text him, soooo i posted on his facebook wall. he needed to be put on blast about his behavior. i said:

 

"I see you feel its necessary to start OoVoo 'ing your ex girlfriend, whose ALL the way in California. lmao. Commenting, and liking her pictures and status's.. oh and texting watever it is you two have to 'talk about.' And now she got the nerve to send ME a friend request...no. I hope the whole thing was worth it. You think you slick cuz its on her page and i couldnt see it. i guess you thought you had this all together..but you slipped. Well guess what. You showed your true character and how much you valued our relationship. Am i angry...naw. Just dissappointed."

 

i posted that at about 1 a.m. he gets off work at 2. idk when exactly he checked his fb, but i doknow i texted him at about 130 am to say, when u get a chance, u should check ur fb.

 

expecting a long, text, call of an explanation didntexactly happen. instead his ex decided to butt in and comment. it was none of her business but she did and we went back in forth for a few posts. anyway,

the next morning i recieved atext from him saying "(my name) i cant believe you right now. dont talk to me for awhile. bye"

 

i was in shock, in shock that he had the nerve to be upset...at ME. anyway, i didnt reply. and i havent contacted him since last friday, and he hast contacted me. today is friday. the most remorse ive seen from him was the night after we broke up. he posted a status that said "Didnt wanna cry. ****!" ..and thats it. (dont know why he was crying, he did this)

 

I just wants some opinions on the way I Handled it, the way he did, and why he reacted the way he did. thanks

[welikeincrowds]

So, let me get this straight:

 

1. You snoop on his communications on Facebook

2. You see an interaction between him and ex, and you interpret it negatively

3. You get so mad at him that you decide that this could end the relationship

4. You publicly defame him (and her) on his Facebook wall

5. You think that it's not his ex's business, when your issue with him is a) about her and b) public

6. You are surprised when he gets mad at you

 

Whatever you suspect he did, what you actually did was way worse. You made yourself look very petty and controlling. You embarrassed him. Most of all, you made him embarrassed to be with you.

 

Best case scenario, you all walk away from this with respect somehow intact.

 

Next time you're feeling threatened and you want to have a fight: whatever you do, don't make it public. The fight may or may not be a good idea, but in this case it's immaterial. It's never a good idea to fight in public. Never do that again!

[sniffys]

well i could be wrong, but he feels that he isnt really alone right now, or that the ex might be leading him on so he thinks if he loses u its not a big deal. either way this is a bad thing, ive been through this before and if i were you, hold your head up and just suggest to him maybe u guys should break up. dont break up on him though, make him do it.

 

although i can safely say that you shouldnt have made a scandal and posted it on his wall for everyone to see.

[Lionblue92]

Sniffy.... i dont now about the firs part, i dont think it was his intention to necessarily cheat but my point is that if your "video-chatting" with an ex, its really not necessary. he knew that wouldnt be comfortablkle with that. We live in michigan. and his ex is someone who lives all te way in californina, and she cheated on him...i mean really. lol thats not someone who is going to be supporting you too tough. and your the first person on a forum to actually agree with me. looking back i think hst i handled it in the wrong way, but i def think i should have approached it.

 

By the way, we technically arebroken up. cause after he sent me that text, i went single on the book. and he didnt go single until wayyyy later. weird right? no one actually said break up but thats pretty much what it was and we havent spoke since.

 

ANd to the first commenter, well honestly in my opinion it was thoughtless of him to speak to someone when he knew it would upset me. I cannot *force* him not to speak to her, but he should understand how you feel about it. I think the problem is that the way i reacted overshadows it...

[Lionblue92]

does anyone think this is worth me trying to talk to him about, or should i wait it out and ket him contact me. its been a week