Does anyone feel like they are lost & going through midlife crisis...and I'm only 37

[Ckooplost]

Feeling Lost!

I am 37 years old and going through early mid-life crisis, I just feel so lost and I don't know what I want to do! Or what I like, How do you get through this part of your life?

I have 3 teenagers and one graduating and the other two are going to be driving and one is driving.

Now I feel as though they don't need me, so I am kind of lost right now.

My husband and I have been married for 18 years and he is going through his thing now too.

Where do you go from here? How do you get through this? Does anyone know?

I guess I am just looking to see if anyone else feels the way that I do.

[Darkangelism]

Well im probably not the most qualified person to answer, but i will give it ago, from my understanding of Mid life crisis, then you are looking for a change, something to get you out of the daily grind of life. First and formost think everything through, no rash choices, two talk with your husband, find out things that you both want to do to make yourselves or each other happy and do those things.

[look forward]

My mum went through the same thing when I moved out and my sister went away to university.. she didn't know what to do with herself and became miserable.. so she decided to do something she had never got the chance to do while we were young.. she enrolled at college and did a night course and is now studying a part time degree.. she is so busy she barely has time to sit down for five mins..

 

My point is find something that interests you.. You invest so mush of yourself into bringing up your children you kind of forget what to do when they grow up and aren't so dependant on you.. Find out what things you enjoy for you.. it may be joining a gym, going to a dance class, gardening, studying...

 

Your life isn't ending its just moving on and changing to the next phase.. use it to your advantage and embrace it rather than fear it...

 

[fredrolin]

My wife and I are 40, we have an 8 year old daughter.

 

My wife has a 23 year old son, so I watched her go through the pain of getting over her son becoming an adult. But having a young child helped.

 

Yes, I know that 10-15 years from now I will miss having my daughter be a little kid, but on the other hand I will get my life and freedom back!!!

[Ckooplost]

Thanks so much for all of the advice you gave.

I guess I am just in a time of my life when I don't feel very needed or wanted.

My husband is very independent and does not understand what that feels like.

It's really hard to get what I need from him, and the kids don't need me anymore.

So I had better start learning to love myself!

Maybe that is where my journey begins!

Thanks so much for all of the support.

[reasontosigh]

One of the things that helped me when my midlife crisis started was reading "Passages" by Gail Sheehy.

 

It answered a lot of questions for me - the only ones that were left were the ones only I myself could answer.

[caseyandkoyuk]

I am 37 and too many skelatons and loves gone astray, I am tired and I feel like there is no reason. I am not depressed, I am just tired! I am educated and professional, who cares, it is all meaningless. The heart will stop beating sooner or later!

 

Casey

[moimeme]

Hey, Casey!

 

There is a reason - it's 'you're not there yet'. It can seem that some of us have 'way more lessons to learn than others do. It can be exhausting to follow the trail down one more rabbit hole, only to find you're no farther than you were when you set out - you think. Without your realizing it, you are still progressing along your path.

 

Some of us just have different lessons to learn. There are the folks whose lessons come in the form of family and career and others who need to forge their paths alone during many segments of their lives.

 

We will arrive where we are meant to be; it's just that sometimes that's hard to believe.

[sportsloving]

My mom had a mid life crisis (in a matter of speaking). She started line dancing (oh my the jokes we told), she started working on her masters degree, and she joined a group called Recycled Teenagers who did a lot of neat stuff and fun things ... I wish I had been in the group when they all went to the Bahamas for a week

 

I know she loved it and had a great time. For awhile there it was pretty difficult to get a hold of her because she was never home, LOL.

 

There are hobbies you can take up, there are classes you can take, groups you can join... you are free now to do things for yourself (moreso than when you were so busy taking care of your children). The world is huge and your possiblities are endless.

 

I wish you the best and hope you find something that interests you You are at the time of life I can only dream of, lol, I still have to make it through the teenage years (ugh)

[Thinkalot]

I can understand what you are saying...but you are on the path you are meant to be on, and who knows what exciting chapter is around the corner! Things never usually go as we plan them.

Best thoughts to you

[Thinkalot]

Originally posted by moimeme

 

Some of us just have different lessons to learn. There are the folks whose lessons come in the form of family and career and others who need to forge their paths alone during many segments of their lives.

 

We will arrive where we are meant to be; it's just that sometimes that's hard to believe.

 

I really like these words Merry, and I try to remember them if I am feeling down, or doubting choices I have made. I try not to have regrets in life, and to accept all my choices, and see how they have helped lead me to where I am. Sometimes, I start to wallow in my insecurities, and compare myself so much to others, that it is hard to stand strong and believe in my life. I will become so focussed on things I HAVEN'T DONE, compared to others, and forget the things I HAVE done, which they haven't. Or I will worry, because I haven't had a certain experience in my life, or whatever.

 

I guess this is a bit of a different direction to the mid-life crisis angle, but I think accepting choices, and being happy with your life, helps you get through any stage.

 

Some days it something I struggle with, but mostly I am happy and proud of the things I have achieved, and am learning not to worry about the things which I havent done.