Here's a Depressing Stat for Women who Supposedly Have 'Options'

[fortyninethousand322]

Here's what I want to know: How is it that there are so many guys saying that they have few options and yet so many women who report the same exact thing? Are all the single people existing in parallel universes where they can't meet each other?

[threebyfate]

Here's what I want to know: How is it that there are so many guys saying that they have few options and yet so many women who report the same exact thing? Are all the single people existing in parallel universes where they can't meet each other?

 

Considering how many people use Internet dating, why aren't these parallel universes meeting?

 

It floors me how people can complain and complain about their place in life when they do barely anything or nothing to alleviate their situation. Worse yet, the ones who sabotage themselves, while whining and complaining. Or the ones who pursue the ones everyone else is pursuing, when it's obvious it's not going to happen for them and then they complain that no one wants them.

 

If you're picky, then stop complaining by projecting the problem onto everyone else. Be patient and wait it out knowing full well that it might never happen for you. Actions to consequences.

 

If you're impatient, then stop being so picky. Actions to consequences.

[fishtaco]

Here's what I want to know: How is it that there are so many guys saying that they have few options and yet so many women who report the same exact thing? Are all the single people existing in parallel universes where they can't meet each other?

 

They meet each other. But they don't want each other.

[fortyninethousand322]

 

Considering how many people use Internet dating, why aren't these parallel universes meeting?

 

It floors me how people can complain and complain about their place in life when they do barely anything or nothing to alleviate their situation. Worse yet, the ones who sabotage themselves, while whining and complaining. Or the ones who pursue the ones everyone else is pursuing, when it's obvious it's not going to happen for them and then they complain that no one wants them.

 

If you're picky, then stop complaining by projecting the problem onto everyone else. Be patient and wait it out knowing full well that it might never happen for you. Actions to consequences.

 

If you're impatient, then stop being so picky. Actions to consequences.

 

It was kind of a rhetorical comment. I don't think it's necessarily pickiness and impatience. I honestly think these people are not interacting with each other. The single men and the single women are rarely meeting. There are sociological reasons for this that I won't get into (unless someone really wants me to). But it's really not due to one sex or the other having more options.

[welikeincrowds]

It was kind of a rhetorical comment. I don't think it's necessarily pickiness and impatience. I honestly think these people are not interacting with each other. The single men and the single women are rarely meeting. There are sociological reasons for this that I won't get into (unless someone really wants me to). But it's really not due to one sex or the other having more options.

 

Please. I'm all ears.

[MarlyStar]

. The single men and the single women are rarely meeting. There are sociological reasons for this that I won't get into (unless someone really wants me to). But it's really not due to one sex or the other having more options.

 

I'm interested.

[threebyfate]

It was kind of a rhetorical comment. I don't think it's necessarily pickiness and impatience. I honestly think these people are not interacting with each other. The single men and the single women are rarely meeting. There are sociological reasons for this that I won't get into (unless someone really wants me to). But it's really not due to one sex or the other having more options.

Oh do explain!

[somedude81]

Here's what I want to know: How is it that there are so many guys saying that they have few options and yet so many women who report the same exact thing? Are all the single people existing in parallel universes where they can't meet each other?

Did you pay attention to the ages in this thread?

 

The men who have few options are around 30 or below. The woman they want to date, are too busy messing with jerks and badboys or are simply uninterested in mr. average.

 

The women who are saying they have few options are around 40 and up.

 

Which basically means, the men in their late 30's who haven't had any options, finally got married. If they are 40 and unmarried they are most likely; in jail, homeless, playboys or dead.

 

So for whatever reason a woman a woman is 40 and unmarried, the amount of eligible bachelors for her is very limted.

 

BTW the only reason that the men who got married in their late 30's actually got married, was because the woman who became their wives decided it was time to settle down and stopped messing with bad boys.

 

I'd seriously question why a 40 year old woman hasn't married any one yet.

 

If she's been divorced, then that's a completely different issue.

[alphamale]

My friend works for the 3rd largest defense contractor in the world. In her physical work location there are 584 men, all educated, most are engineers (ie nerdy). Of the 584 men only THREE are her age or older and single. And of the three one is gay, and one is in a longterm relationship with a woman he's crazy about. She has no idea about the other guy, she doesn't know who he is.

 

When she expanded the database search to include men 5 years younger than her, she got 3 more.

 

Options? Four guys out of 584? If she looked like Christy Brinkly she still wouldn't have a chance.

wait until she hits her 50s

[fortyninethousand322]

Oh do explain!

 

Alright then. Basically it's all of the technological progress we've made in the last 10-15 or even 20 years. I have no hard data to prove this so you're welcome to dismiss or critique my theory.

 

But all of the technological progress has essentially made almost all of our daily lives cut off from what was previously "normal" levels of social interaction. On the extreme end we can now do most of our shopping and working on the internet, meaning the bulk of someone's life can be lived without even stepping outside their home. Now, most people don't live on this extreme, most people do actually leave their houses. But other subtle effects are still felt.

 

If you go to the grocery store, ride the subway (or metro as it's called where I live) etc., you have all kinds of distractions/entertainment that can occupy your time: ipods, blackberries, iphones, regular cell phones, etc. Making you less open social interaction. 15 or 20 years ago, if you were a video game geek you had to go to the local arcade to play video games, now you can play xbox online against people you've never met. You want to watch the big Lakers-Celtics game? 20 years ago people went to a bar. Now? Turn on TNT and you're good to go. And so on and so on.

 

Remember, socializing was not just for the sake of meeting people. It was also for entertainment. Now with a million TV channels, wide access to VHS, DVD and Bluray players, huge music collections that fit in the palm of your hand, there's less motivation to go out. Again, most people aren't turning into home bodies, but chances are there is more staying in than there used to be.

 

Some people overcome the temptation to be isolated either because they are naturally social or because they have made a conscious effort. And, to be honest some of this may also be attributable to the parental psychology that emerged in the 1990s around such shows like America's Most Wanted, and Unsolved Mysteries where kids were raised to be suspicious of strangers (understandably so) which can put a damper on socializing.

 

There are holes in my theory of course, but the gist of it is people are less social than they were before. No wonder single men and single women are having a tough time finding each other and more particularly finding people that are a right fit.

[MarlyStar]

I'd seriously question why a 40 year old woman hasn't married any one yet.

 

If she's been divorced, then that's a completely different issue.

 

I question how a guy gets to be 50 or 60 and never married, particularly if he's sort of good looking and financially stable with a good career. Match has tons of these guys.

 

Are these the left over bad boys that women in their 30's gave up on?

 

Oh joy...

[fortyninethousand322]

Did you pay attention to the ages in this thread?

 

The men who have few options are around 30 or below. The woman they want to date, are too busy messing with jerks and badboys or are simply uninterested in mr. average.

 

The women who are saying they have few options are around 40 and up.

 

Which basically means, the men in their late 30's who haven't had any options, finally got married. If they are 40 and unmarried they are most likely; in jail, homeless, playboys or dead.

 

So for whatever reason a woman a woman is 40 and unmarried, the amount of eligible bachelors for her is very limted.

 

BTW the only reason that the men who got married in their late 30's actually got married, was because the woman who became their wives decided it was time to settle down and stopped messing with bad boys.

 

I'd seriously question why a 40 year old woman hasn't married any one yet.

 

If she's been divorced, then that's a completely different issue.

 

The only way that works out is if masses of women in their 20s are dating men who are already dating other women. Unless of course we're going back to the idea that a lot of women in their 20s aren't interested in dating.

 

If all the heterosexual people are split roughly 50-50 between males and females your math doesn't work.

[Kamille]

 

 

Now with a million TV channels, wide access to VHS, DVD and Bluray players, huge music collections that fit in the palm of your hand and Loveshack, there's less motivation to go out.

 

Amended to portray our reality .

[welikeincrowds]

Alright then. Basically it's all of the technological progress we've made in the last 10-15 or even 20 years. I have no hard data to prove this so you're welcome to dismiss or critique my theory.

 

But all of the technological progress has essentially made almost all of our daily lives cut off from what was previously "normal" levels of social interaction. On the extreme end we can now do most of our shopping and working on the internet, meaning the bulk of someone's life can be lived without even stepping outside their home. Now, most people don't live on this extreme, most people do actually leave their houses. But other subtle effects are still felt.

 

If you go to the grocery store, ride the subway (or metro as it's called where I live) etc., you have all kinds of distractions/entertainment that can occupy your time: ipods, blackberries, iphones, regular cell phones, etc. Making you less open social interaction. 15 or 20 years ago, if you were a video game geek you had to go to the local arcade to play video games, now you can play xbox online against people you've never met. You want to watch the big Lakers-Celtics game? 20 years ago people went to a bar. Now? Turn on TNT and you're good to go. And so on and so on.

 

Remember, socializing was not just for the sake of meeting people. It was also for entertainment. Now with a million TV channels, wide access to VHS, DVD and Bluray players, huge music collections that fit in the palm of your hand, there's less motivation to go out. Again, most people aren't turning into home bodies, but chances are there is more staying in than there used to be.

 

Some people overcome the temptation to be isolated either because they are naturally social or because they have made a conscious effort. And, to be honest some of this may also be attributable to the parental psychology that emerged in the 1990s around such shows like America's Most Wanted, and Unsolved Mysteries where kids were raised to be suspicious of strangers (understandably so) which can put a damper on socializing.

 

There are holes in my theory of course, but the gist of it is people are less social than they were before. No wonder single men and single women are having a tough time finding each other and more particularly finding people that are a right fit.

 

Ah yes, the "people don't go to church anymore" theory.

 

I don't know, I think you should read McLuhan. It's interesting when you equate socializing with entertainment, because I do think there's a problem with our Roman Empire-tier entertainment fetish, but the inclusion of technology really complicates your idea.

[threebyfate]

Alright then. Basically it's all of the technological progress we've made in the last 10-15 or even 20 years. I have no hard data to prove this so you're welcome to dismiss or critique my theory.

 

But all of the technological progress has essentially made almost all of our daily lives cut off from what was previously "normal" levels of social interaction. On the extreme end we can now do most of our shopping and working on the internet, meaning the bulk of someone's life can be lived without even stepping outside their home. Now, most people don't live on this extreme, most people do actually leave their houses. But other subtle effects are still felt.

 

If you go to the grocery store, ride the subway (or metro as it's called where I live) etc., you have all kinds of distractions/entertainment that can occupy your time: ipods, blackberries, iphones, regular cell phones, etc. Making you less open social interaction. 15 or 20 years ago, if you were a video game geek you had to go to the local arcade to play video games, now you can play xbox online against people you've never met. You want to watch the big Lakers-Celtics game? 20 years ago people went to a bar. Now? Turn on TNT and you're good to go. And so on and so on.

 

Remember, socializing was not just for the sake of meeting people. It was also for entertainment. Now with a million TV channels, wide access to VHS, DVD and Bluray players, huge music collections that fit in the palm of your hand, there's less motivation to go out. Again, most people aren't turning into home bodies, but chances are there is more staying in than there used to be.

 

Some people overcome the temptation to be isolated either because they are naturally social or because they have made a conscious effort. And, to be honest some of this may also be attributable to the parental psychology that emerged in the 1990s around such shows like America's Most Wanted, and Unsolved Mysteries where kids were raised to be suspicious of strangers (understandably so) which can put a damper on socializing.

 

There are holes in my theory of course, but the gist of it is people are less social than they were before. No wonder single men and single women are having a tough time finding each other and more particularly finding people that are a right fit.

Instead of knocking your theory, I'm going to build on it.

 

Since people are so tuned into mass media, images of perfection have become the norm whether through fashion or porn, reliant on what cranks them. Add in happy endings to these perfect superficial images and you have the perfect storm of unhappy endings.

 

Oh and before I forget, the continuous entertainment bombardment has created the "me generation" of what will YOU do for ME, instead of what will we create together.

 

People are looking for proof for relationships, rather than showing each other they care. It's a bad power dynamic.

[MarlyStar]

... the "me generation" of what will YOU do for ME, instead of what will we create together.

 

People are looking for proof for relationships, rather than showing each other they care.

 

That's very interesting thought.

[welikeincrowds]

That's the same brainstorm somebody once had when planning to open the famed Mustang Ranch to women-seeking-men (in addition to the regular fare).

 

 

Common sense likely kicked-in before too long.

 

Isn't that why pretty girls get into clubs for free?

[somedude81]

I question how a guy gets to be 50 or 60 and never married, particularly if he's sort of good looking and financially stable with a good career. Match has tons of these guys.

 

Are these the left over bad boys that women in their 30's gave up on?

 

Oh joy...

Yup.

 

They'd be the playboys I mentioned. Forever the bachelor but that doesn't mean they aren't getting any action.

 

Here's a of picture of one. Of course there's no ring on his finger.

 

The only way that works out is if masses of women in their 20s are dating men who are already dating other women. Unless of course we're going back to the idea that a lot of women in their 20s aren't interested in dating.

You got it.

 

The men who are desired by women are desired by a lot of women. And it's in a mans nature to sleep with as many women as possible.

 

These men are the minority but they get enough women for 3-4 men. Which means there are a bunch of guys out there who aren't getting their share.

Edited March 12, 2011 by somedude81

[fishtaco]

Alright then. Basically it's all of the technological progress we've made in the last 10-15 or even 20 years. I have no hard data to prove this so you're welcome to dismiss or critique my theory.

 

Fishtaco approves of this theory.

 

I think it makes sense. Before, when people are waiting around some place at a public place, and they get bored, they talk to the person next to them. Now, they poke at their iPhones.

 

I'm making a conscious effort to go out and socialize. That's how I'm able to maintain a social network where before all these fancy technology, probably took less effort to do.

[amymarieca]

I just went out to dinner with 6 other friends. All of us are single and never been married and we are all in our 30s. It really depends on what group of people you are talking about. I live in a big city and there are loads of single people.

[somedude81]

First of all, do any of you want to be married.

 

If so, why do you think you aren't?

 

Any of this apply to you?

[Mrlonelyone]

They meet each other. But they don't want each other.

 

Not true in my case. I haven't met a single and available graduate student at either of the two universities I have attended in the last six years. They were all taken as in engaged or married, and we were in our mid-late 20's.

 

It's like I will have to go after a much much younger woman if I am to have a chance of finding someone who's not taken.

 

My problem for many many years yet has not be a lack of interest.... or a lack of interesting candidates... A lack of that mutual interest from people who weren't taken.

[threebyfate]

First of all, do any of you want to be married.

 

If so, why do you think you aren't?

 

Any of this apply to you?

 

The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don't deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway -- because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self -- you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:

Love.

Ugh. How absolutely pathetic that any woman would believe that's all there is to marriage.

 

"Men are slobs and unable to feel. So it's up to you to take care of this moron and love him dearly for his retarded nature."

[carhill]

Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to.

 

LOL, I thought that article was funny. Add in 'beer swilling, cigarette sucking, knuckle-draggin, womanizing loser' and it pretty much describes what I've heard from MW's over the years, but still they stay

[jlola]

Did you pay attention to the ages in this thread?

 

The men who have few options are around 30 or below. The woman they want to date, are too busy messing with jerks and badboys or are simply uninterested in mr. average.

 

The women who are saying they have few options are around 40 and up.

 

Which basically means, the men in their late 30's who haven't had any options, finally got married. If they are 40 and unmarried they are most likely; in jail, homeless, playboys or dead.

 

So for whatever reason a woman a woman is 40 and unmarried, the amount of eligible bachelors for her is very limted.

 

BTW the only reason that the men who got married in their late 30's actually got married, was because the woman who became their wives decided it was time to settle down and stopped messing with bad boys.

 

I'd seriously question why a 40 year old woman hasn't married any one yet.

 

If she's been divorced, then that's a completely different issue.

 

I believe if a woman is attractive after 40 ,she will have choices. Most people male and female are looking to date the top 20% of people in their dating range.

 

Unfortunately,top 20% of men and woman have abundance of dates.

 

Now for the theory that though the ratio of men and women are equal, but you haver guys in jail,addicts etc.

 

I can say the same for women.

There are woman out there who have numerous children with numerous men. I know men who have a smaller dating pool because they do not want to play stepfather to women whith children since they feel they can not discipline and eventually be raising a "teenager" who will constanly remind him he is not their father.

 

There are women drug addicts,golddiggers,prostitutes,obese women,bi-polar women,women in jail , Women sitting home waiting on gov check. So for every undatable man, there are plenty of undatable women too.

 

I can never believe there are so few options only for women. My sister is getting married for the 5th time. Every single man she has married has been educated and decent(except for husband #2 who was her affair partner).

 

There must be pretty slim picking on the men's end to choose her. But she has beauty and they all ignore red flags on account of that. Her marriages all last no more than 2-3 years. First marriage was at 20.

 

I do not see a shortage of men . I also do not believe all the good ones are taken. I very rarely see a married man I think is actually a "prize". I think society is a mess and it is dificult to meet a potential spouse with integrity,heart,emotionally aware,values,charisma and one who takes good physical care ,excersice,no substance abuse.. Health of body and mind is very important. Too few possess these traits anymore. But everyone wants someone who does.