charly26 Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 Hi: Would you have sex with you ex if after some time, there are no more hurt feelings involved? Obviuosly, in a situation in which none of you is dating someone else, and are just looking for fun since you both have been intimate before
WorldIsYours Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 Hi: Would you have sex with you ex if after some time, there are no more hurt feelings involved? Obviuosly, in a situation in which none of you is dating someone else, and are just looking for fun since you both have been intimate before Nope. I would find someone else to have sex with. An ex is an ex for a reason.
carhill Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 IMO, it could work if casual sex is a healthy style for you. I had this thought, briefly, after seeing my exW for the first time in a long time yesterday, since I've read threads about 'sex with the ex' on LS, and got this shivering feeling. That's because, for me, sex and intimacy and love all go together and there was none of that between her and I for a long time. I couldn't imagine having sex with her. That aligns with lack of interest in casual sex. Your style and perspective may differ. History should indicate to you what is healthy for you. Since you're asking the question, examine it, and yourself, carefully. The answers will come. Good luck
ate_the_paint Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 Nope, but that's because she's had waaaaay too much sex in her life...
Cassandra92 Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 My ex and I were intimate with each other after we broke up. We actually did a lot of things that we used to do when we were together... Only without the label of being 'together' (this was his decision, not mine). Stupidly, I was so in love with him I would just take whatever I could get. But whenever we would hold hands, or kiss, or do anything sexual, it would just get all my hopes up, only to have them dashed and my heart broken all over again. As much as I tried to tell myself it didn't have to mean anything, to me it still did. Somebody always gets hurt in a situation like that. I still can't imagine being with anybody else. I suppose if I had the option now to have sex with him without any strings attached and no feelings getting hurt, I would take it. But realistically, by the time I was in a place where I wouldn't get hurt, I probably wouldn't want to have sex with him anymore. The attraction would be gone. I don't really believe you can revert from loving and caring for somebody so much, to just liking them enough to have sex with them. Eh, it's complicated. /end rant.
depplover_1980 Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 I had sizzling sex with my commitment phobe ex last night including our usual Master/sub play, went out for dinner too - had a great night. I've been ill for weeks (long term stuff) and feel energised and healed today. I am actually attempting my own psychological experiment on myself to see if I can revert to such an arrangement once a month, whilst processing various emotions and attempting to divert them/ignore them. Not something I'd recommend to everyone though, you have to be a seasoned veteran in handling pain I reckon!
Tarn Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 There is LOADS wrong with having sex with ex but in saying that LOADS better than getting new sexual partners. I have been with my ex for 16yrs 3kids and if it were not daily it was 2nd day.... Im dying here Im used to having the constant sex now nada... having withdrawls but still luring him to the room.
Anna86 Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 I recently made the stupid mistake of having sex with an ex. I guess it all depends on the situation. If you feel over him fully and you know he is too then I don't see the harm. But if the breakup is fresh, and you still have feelings for him then I would say no way! It is like playing with fire. After sex, most couples spend time together and bask in each others company. The next day you still feel all happy and loved up. If he is not there the next day you can end up feeling so low. There can be a crash and burn period after a massive high. We are all human and make terrible mistakes. We learn from them. I wish you luck with it.
ReturnToSender Posted March 14, 2011 Posted March 14, 2011 If I was completely and totally over him with absolutely zero feelings, and felt zilch towards him...then Id be all over that a million times over in a heart beat. I dont know what it is about him, but its so inside out, upside down, boy you turn me...round..and round lol So often Ive wished I could get over the emotional thing and freely enjoy sex with him, but no...after the euphoria wears off, the emotions set in. Blah. So best left avoided at all costs. But dang man...wish I knew what it was so I could just bottle it up, give it to some other guy and make him my sex slave or something. Id be so down with that.
name witheld Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 For me it depends on the ex. There is only one that I really stay in contact with and could consider a friend. So I suppose I could with her, but she has put on a bit of weight and is not as attractive as she used to be. Sure the blowjobs and sex would still be as good as they ued to be! Another one it wouldn't be worth it. Too many issues in her life and I'm not getting involved. The last one no, because I don't trust that I'm not fully over her yet. But she is the one out of the bunch! We did have sex a few times after breaking up, when it was still fresh and it was amazing but probably contributed to the breakup being permanent. Other exes, well I dunno. Too long ago now, no idea what they look like or who they are. There are one or two girls I've dated that I'd like to be with again just cos it was so good!
Lemontang Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 Yes it does depend on the ex. I've hooked up with a few but only after a few years had passed. One I'd hook up with regularly between dating (never during) and another I hooked up with a few times before it became apparent she was falling for me again. One thing about the 1st ex was we understood boundary's fairly well. And are comfortable both just being friends, especially since I'm now in a relationship. She her self just came out of one, but knew since I'm seeing someone the best she could hope for was friends only and no benefits.
Troubled Heart Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 I had sex with an ex. It worked out well for me but I was completely over the relationship and didn't want the anxiety of finding a new partner. My ex however, got too attached again (psychotic after I started seeing someone new) that it ended it. Sex with the new guys was much better without the guilt!
depplover_1980 Posted March 15, 2011 Posted March 15, 2011 I had sizzling sex with my commitment phobe ex last night including our usual Master/sub play, went out for dinner too - had a great night. I've been ill for weeks (long term stuff) and feel energised and healed today. I am actually attempting my own psychological experiment on myself to see if I can revert to such an arrangement once a month, whilst processing various emotions and attempting to divert them/ignore them. Not something I'd recommend to everyone though, you have to be a seasoned veteran in handling pain I reckon! Update. Well it's been 4 days since the hook up and I am pretty much back to a neutral mindset on him, so I do believe what I am trying to do may be possible. I am still not recommending it for most people though.
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