Author mizliz Posted March 13, 2011 Author Posted March 13, 2011 No, it is because he kept his wife's pregnancy a secret from her during their affair and it has repulsed her to know he is such a liar and cake eater! I am sorry you are going through this! And I think you have realized the length and depth of his deception to you and to her. That is some life-altering fact to "forget" to disclose: I am to be a father. Do not beat yourself up. Obviously having this information would have changed your view of him and the realtionship, and he had very vested reasons for not telling you: his own personal, selfish ones. fBS here.....and I really, really know the pain of this. Please take care of yourself! Yes. thank you Spark. That is exactly what has me so angered. And, replusion is an appropriate word here. The worst part of this now, is that he is trying to turn it around. The last email he sent (just a couple hours ago), he wrote that: "I guess it would seem to be a lie when you don't speak up when not asked about your home life" - Huh? I didn't realize that I was to question him everyday about whether or not he was planning a family???? My jaw just dropped when I read that. Thank you for your kind words. And, I am so sorry for your own pain. What a mess these A's cause. I've never felt like this before, and I can only imagine how she would feel if she knew (the reason I will not contact her). I'm not sure how to take care of myself, right now. I have at least substituted ice cream for the wine.
Author mizliz Posted March 13, 2011 Author Posted March 13, 2011 Quite honestly, nothing these slime bags do surprises me anymore. They lie about their marital status to trick unsuspecting women into seeing them, or they lie about the status of their marriage claiming they're separated but still living under the same roof, or they lie about their marriage being for 'convenience' only when none of it is true. But the bottom-feeders that cheat on their pregnant wives are in a class all by themselves. Lower than pond scum. I really hope you don't let this scum bucket convince you to start up with him again. The only thing he deserves is to be shot at dawn. Thank you. That gave me my first giggle of the day. No worries about starting up again as I shiver at the thought.
Author mizliz Posted March 13, 2011 Author Posted March 13, 2011 I feel for you, and totally understand how bad it's made you feel, it was always the one thing I was really scared of having to deal with. The MM I was involved with had no kids, but wanted them, he made out his wife didn't, who knows the truth of that. I would never have got involved if there'd been kids already. You sound like you're doing well considering, all the best. And that's exactly how I felt, too. I made a point of saying so. He knew that and that's why he didn't have the balls to tell me. I mean, he had at least 9 months to tell me, if not more. For all I know, they could have been planning for months. Thank you.
Emme Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Emme - Not that this makes anything better, but part of the reason I allowed myself to get involved with him was because he didn't have any children. He knew how I felt about it, and although his reasons for hiding it may have been logical, he is a selfish coward for not coming clean on this. I realize that I shouldn't have ever trusted him, but I did. I think right now you learned a lot about yourself. You know what you won't tolerate in life or accept from anyone. We are all learning something I hope from these circumstances, so there is the postive side to all of this. Sorry you found out he was an ass... I'm happy it was sooner rather than later.
Author mizliz Posted March 13, 2011 Author Posted March 13, 2011 Good for you! If he tries to contact you again just ignore it or better yet, block and walk. You have nothing to lose right? You are in charge of your life and what he is thinking or trying to do should be of no consequence to you. BLOCK AND WALK and don't look back. Silence is the loudest message he can hear. Good luck and wish you the best. I should block, especially now that he seems to be backpeddling and not admitting accountability for his deception. I will get there. Thank you.
callsign Posted March 13, 2011 Posted March 13, 2011 Hello everyone. I've been lurking for awhile, but haven't been compelled to post until now. My apologies for the title, but I am sick to my stomach over what has just happened and I desperately need some perspective. I won't get into the details of my A with MM, other than to say that it lasted almost 18 months (I now regret every minute). I just discovered that MM's wife gave birth to their first baby and I had no idea she was pregnant. Not only did he hide the pregnancy from me the entire time, he even texted me the day after baby was born asking: "Why haven't you contacted me all day? I'm going crazy missing you". It took me a couple of days to stop shaking long enough to reply. In those days he texted several times, wondering where I was and why I wasn't responding to him. What kind of man keeps his wife's pregnancy a secret, and attempts to continue an A days after his wife has given birth? His response? "I didn't want to lose you. If I had told you, I knew you'd be gone". Well. no. kidding. Selfish A** I'm so angry right now. I so badly want to forward all his emails to her, but I wouldn't given the circumstances. I'm all over the place with this. I guess I don't really have a question, but needed to get that out. Thank you for reading. You know, I am never surprised at how selfish and callous men and women can be to each other. I relate to your pain. It happens to us guys too. You give and give, you're always there and then suddenly find out you've been replaced. It hurts, I know. Didn't even see it coming. One day you're the center of someone elses world. Someone you love a lot, and then the next day you're just a place to store her extra furniture. Ii'm sorry, but I know that sick to the stomach feeling when the floor has been kicked out from under you. Good luck to you, we both know there are others out there, even if we don't believe just this moment.
Author mizliz Posted March 13, 2011 Author Posted March 13, 2011 You know, I am never surprised at how selfish and callous men and women can be to each other. I relate to your pain. It happens to us guys too. You give and give, you're always there and then suddenly find out you've been replaced. It hurts, I know. Didn't even see it coming. One day you're the center of someone elses world. Someone you love a lot, and then the next day you're just a place to store her extra furniture. Ii'm sorry, but I know that sick to the stomach feeling when the floor has been kicked out from under you. Good luck to you, we both know there are others out there, even if we don't believe just this moment. Thank you. I'm sorry you feel the same. And, I hope you're right - good things on the horizon. Blessings.
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