MissVegas Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 So my friends and I were talking about how society is very superficial etc after watching little couple *I LOVE THAT SHOW BTW* anyways I'm curious as to what the general consensus is but lets say the person had a good personality and was attractive in all other aspects and it wasn't very noticeable but they had a slight physical malformation from a disability or syndrome they couldn't change maybe a scar on the face, a lazy/funny eye, big crooked nose, missing teeth or something like that. Would you automatically turn them down? Would it change if they were born like that and it was unchangeable?? What aspects would effect your decision if any at all??
Intricategirl Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 It depends for me. If it was something cosmetic only, yeah. Even with something mild, yeah. My sister is dating a guy that has mild cerebral palsy, and most of the time, you can't tell that something's even different. There's a cute guy working at a pizza place where I ate today, and everytime I see him, I'm tempted to give him my phone number- he also has CP. And you bring up the show Little People- I LOOOVE little people. Not the show, but the actual people. lol Now, if there was going to be significantly more care, probably not. And it's from a very realistic standpoint. I'm currently in school, raising two kids by myself, and my mom is extremely ill. I wouldn't date him because I couldn't give him the time his care would need. And with the career I hope to go into, my life isn't likely to get any less busy. On that note: I had an ex-boyfriend that I was dating when my doctor found what might be cancer. I went for an MRI, and this guy went to the doctor with me where he heard that it was NOT cancer. He cited that as one of the reasons for breaking up. Called it baggage. And you know what, I could almost see it if I actually had cancer. It's a lot to go through with someone. But I didn't, and I sincerely apologize for briefly thinking that I might have a really treatable form of the disease. Quite sorry that's too much to deal with. 'Cause not having cancer really puts a strain on a relationship. Yeah, I'm kinda glad that one's gone.
stepka Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 So my friends and I were talking about how society is very superficial etc after watching little couple *I LOVE THAT SHOW BTW* anyways I'm curious as to what the general consensus is but lets say the person had a good personality and was attractive in all other aspects and it wasn't very noticeable but they had a slight physical malformation from a disability or syndrome they couldn't change maybe a scar on the face, a lazy/funny eye, big crooked nose, missing teeth or something like that. Would you automatically turn them down? Would it change if they were born like that and it was unchangeable?? What aspects would effect your decision if any at all?? I fell in love with a man who was a paraplegic once. I got to know him when he was a patient at the hospital I worked at and I had to go back to his room for a few minutes every day and he would talk to me and told me practically his life story. I totally fell for him but he rejected me, partly because he was moving to another state and I guess he wasn't feeling it as strong as I was. He was very handsome and very intelligent and I doubt he ever had trouble finding a partner.
Stung Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 If I felt attracted to them and liked them, sure. I don't think I'd find somebody missing teeth attractive, but it's not like that's something he couldn't get fixed. If he had a seriously messed up eye, maybe he could pull off the sexy pirate look. Interestingly, like the poster above, I had a little crush on a guy in a wheelchair once. He was cute, and tremendously charismatic and funny and really impressive in the way he just kept moving forward in his life with strength and confidence. I dated a deaf man for about six months, part of the reason I ended up getting interested in and studying ASL--good thing I did as I have a deaf family member now. I've dated men with scars from accidents and surgeries etc., my husband happens to have a fair-sized scar on his head although it's not really visible as he's got a full head of hair, you can feel it and it will be very visible if he loses his hair as he ages, oh well. I also dated a man who had had an organ transplant in his late teens and always had to take immunosuppressants, if that counts. Several years ago I dated a gorgeous male model/actor. I was with him for about a year, and he turned out to be very seriously character-flawed and lacking in spine, sense, and morality. I'd take the smart, strong, honest guy in the wheelchair or with a few scars or a hearing problem or whatever over that, any day.
Banker Chick Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 A couple years ago I dated a guy that had lost a leg in a car accident when he was 18 (he was 40 when we dated). I didn't have issues with it, and considering we live in Florida and wear shorts most of the time ... well ... it's not something that was hidden He was very confident and active and I enjoyed hanging out with him. It didn't work out but for other reasons. We still keep in touch.
Linda9999 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 My husband has three slight physical malformations and they have never affected how I feel about him on iota. When we started dating he was very self conscious about them, now he isn't.
jane100 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 My husband has three slight physical malformations and they have never affected how I feel about him on iota. When we started dating he was very self conscious about them, now he isn't. The power of love?
OliveOyl Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Many years ago, I briefly dated a guy who had actually been struck by lightning - twice. He had horrible scars on his legs from the surgery to remove the burned tissue. It didn't bother me... I thought it was interesting.
HeavenOrHell Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 Yes I would, if we're compatible, personality is what counts for me. So my friends and I were talking about how society is very superficial etc after watching little couple *I LOVE THAT SHOW BTW* anyways I'm curious as to what the general consensus is but lets say the person had a good personality and was attractive in all other aspects and it wasn't very noticeable but they had a slight physical malformation from a disability or syndrome they couldn't change maybe a scar on the face, a lazy/funny eye, big crooked nose, missing teeth or something like that. Would you automatically turn them down? Would it change if they were born like that and it was unchangeable?? What aspects would effect your decision if any at all??
Eeyore79 Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 I once dated a guy because I liked his personality, but he had shocking teeth and I simply couldn't get over it. People used to do a double take whenever he opened his mouth; not only was it like kissing a horse, it was also embarassing. In the end I dumped him; not just for his teeth, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a factor. In general I don't mind if someone has a mild problem like a lazy eye or crooked teeth. My boyfriend has crooked teeth, hair in the wrong places, a few small scars and a bit of excess weight, but he still looks ok. But if I do a double take and go "Omg!" when I see someone, dating is out of the question. If I can't tell whether he's looking at me or watching tv, I wouldn't date him. Physical disability is an entirely different matter. I'm ashamed to admit that I wouldn't want to date someone in a wheelchair, or anyone with a disability or illness which might result in them being a burden on me, or which might affect our sex life, or which might be inherited by our children.
quietGuy13 Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 I myself have disabilities and i think that's why i never see any women be at tracted to me. mine are: -muscle bones damage -limp cause knees -sexual damage -and language cognitive damage well apparently I'm dateable because i went on a date with a girl and recently i also made some friends. But i think most women would not like me. Unless they accept someone who speaks like a child. cause i speak like a child and i make a bunch of mistakes and pauses when talking
angielove Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 I myself have disabilities and i think that's why i never see any women be at tracted to me. mine are: -muscle bones damage -limp cause knees -sexual damage -and language cognitive damage well apparently I'm dateable because i went on a date with a girl and recently i also made some friends. But i think most women would not like me. Unless they accept someone who speaks like a child. cause i speak like a child and i make a bunch of mistakes and pauses when talking Have you tried any speech therapy quietguy? Usually clinics at universities offer speech services for cheap (because the students are training) if you wanted to give it a go? And to stay on topic - I would date anyone regardless of disabilities, scars, teeth etc as long as I felt a connection with them and was attracted to them! It all depends on the individual.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 It depends on the circumstances, and how extreme. Certainly, I can't date someone I'm not physically attracted to. That's a given. That being said, people can't help what they look like.
cerridwen Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 I myself have disabilities and i think that's why i never see any women be at tracted to me. mine are: -muscle bones damage -limp cause knees -sexual damage -and language cognitive damage well apparently I'm dateable because i went on a date with a girl and recently i also made some friends. But i think most women would not like me. Unless they accept someone who speaks like a child. cause i speak like a child and i make a bunch of mistakes and pauses when talking ^^A speech therapist can a huge help to you, QuietGuy, AngieLove is right. My niece is one and has helped many adults. OP, I dated a guy in high school with a birth defect. He is missing the lower part of one arm. It was never an issue between us. Though somewhat self-conscious, he didn't let it stop him. He never had a shortage of girlfriends and is now married.
Disillusioned Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 Why not? About ten years ago, there was a well-known dating site for amputees. One of the women my mother used to work with had lost an arm in a car accident, and I thought her prosthetic arm was an engineering masterpiece (I was a tween who was into gadgets). The 2nd date I got last summer had arthritis in her knees, but I have it in my ankles, so we both undestood each other... what a shame she was so mean-spirited.
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