mmiller5373 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 It's been 7 months since my ex-gf of 2.5 years broke up with me via a text message. Yes, a text message. I've been NC for 3 months, though I haven't heard a peep out of her in 6 months. I have my days where I feel better, though, lately I'm feeling like I deserve an honest explanation from her, after everything I did for her. All the time, money, effort, favors, and romance I gave her should have been enough for her to respect me to tell me the truth. To those that don't know, I graduated college back in May and had no job hopes. Broke and unemployed, I moved in with my Mom about 3 hours away to try to look for work. My first month away, I went back to see my girlfriend two times and everything seemed fine, she even cried when I had to leave to go back to my mother's house. 3 weeks later, I get the text. No explanation, just, "It's over. Maybe it could work in the future. Just not now." She said she didn't want to talk to me or see me for a while. I couldn't understand her actions (man, she was so cold), so I did a lot of the things you're not supposed to do when you're dumped. Crying, begging, calling too much, showing up at her house. You name it. I asked her several times if there was another guy and she said no. I even downloaded several of those "How To Get Your Ex Back" e books, which all basically stated that you need to go NC for a month then initiate contact. I really thought I could get her back, then I found out some information. Everything changed. I knew I needed to go NC for good and move on. She changed her number. She was seeing another guy, a guy that had apparently been in her life months before our breakup. I never knew about him. I learned that things were pretty serious between them just 3 weeks after our breakup. My ex was a virgin waiting for marriage. We never did a sexual thing together during our 2 years. I respected her so much more than some of my other exes because she was willing to wait for something she believed in. Well, 3 months after our breakup, I find out she's knocked up by her new man and that he moved into her and her family's house; oh yeah, and they're getting married. Best part of all is that she is totally infatuated with this guy and her family doesn't like him at all. I've been feeling better, but like I stated before, I feel like she owes me something. Something much more than a text. She's a very prideful individual, and a bit selfish, so looking back, I see why she didn't want to talk to me in person. She knew what she was doing... she was leaving me for him. She couldn't face me.
GreenPolicy Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 She broke up with you by text for another guy waiting in the wings. Immaturity and lack of character: that's all the explanation you need. Nothing she'd say would make you feel better. You got to let it go. I know you're hurting, but you have to take the focus off of her and back onto yourself.
Leandro Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 She broke up with you by text for another guy waiting in the wings. Immaturity and lack of character: that's all the explanation you need. . ^^^^^ this right here. She's immature and has no character. Same as my ex.
valpre Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Miller, I'm sorry to hear what you went through. I think you already now the explanation.. ..so looking back, I see why she didn't want to talk to me in person. She knew what she was doing... she was leaving me for him. She couldn't face me. As hard as it is, just let the thought of "she owes me something" go.. and look towards a happier future for yourself. The past is the past, and there is no other explanation that will make how things ended different.
marqueemoon4 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I agree with you... i feel after everything I invested in my ex (far more than she did) I am owed a much better fate than I've gotten. She even had the NERVE to say *I* wasted 8yrs of her life. As if it was just so great for me, especially all the pain its caused since she left. Guess what? Your ex doesn't think they owe you anything and probably never will. Its selfish and heartless but unfortunately its the truth. I wish you the best.
Author mmiller5373 Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 She broke up with you by text for another guy waiting in the wings. Immaturity and lack of character: that's all the explanation you need. Nothing she'd say would make you feel better. You got to let it go. I know you're hurting, but you have to take the focus off of her and back onto yourself. Green, The hurt and pain seems to be going away, now I seem to be feeling the loneliness. And I feel a bit different about myself. If you were to see myself 3.5 years ago, you'd see a good looking, confident, and stable gentlemen. A ladies man, not some push-over wuss or womanizer. Flash-forward to now, I feel like I'm lost my mojo. I feel like she took a part of me when she left. I'm trying to get it back.
Author mmiller5373 Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 I agree with you... i feel after everything I invested in my ex (far more than she did) I am owed a much better fate than I've gotten. She even had the NERVE to say *I* wasted 8yrs of her life. As if it was just so great for me, especially all the pain its caused since she left. Guess what? Your ex doesn't think they owe you anything and probably never will. Its selfish and heartless but unfortunately its the truth. I wish you the best. Yeah, this is the way I feel. I feel like, you lied to me about everything and then you tried to hide everything... and make me out to be the bad guy. She is selfish and heartless. She just doesn't care that I was going through a rough time. All she had to do was tell me the truth. Sometimes I feel like she had been lying to me all along during our years together. 8 years is a long time. It's funny, my ex said something similar to me about it all being a waste.
BlindRage Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Hey Mmiller, I don't really have advice to give you but I thought I would comment because of the familiarity of your story to my own. Expect the pregnant part -as far as I know- but down to the changing her number, the 2.5 years together, and 7 month ago break-up, lets not forget the cold heart etc etc.. Well just wanted to tell you you're not alone in this struggle of pain but don't let it get you down. Don't contact her in anyway. You sound like a great guy you have to find yourself again -I know easier said than done- but theres a day when that will be a possibility. Don't expect anything from a women like her. I'm learning not to expect anything from a women like my ex. They both sound strangely alike.
GreenPolicy Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Green, The hurt and pain seems to be going away, now I seem to be feeling the loneliness. And I feel a bit different about myself. If you were to see myself 3.5 years ago, you'd see a good looking, confident, and stable gentlemen. A ladies man, not some push-over wuss or womanizer. Flash-forward to now, I feel like I'm lost my mojo. I feel like she took a part of me when she left. I'm trying to get it back. All I can tell you is that this person doesn't deserve to determine how you feel about yourself. You're a great guy and in time you'll find somebody who is more deserving of what you have to offer. You're hurting because you opened up your Real Self (your inner child/your soul/the part of you that is vulnerable) to her and she violated all of that. There's the feeling of unfairness too: she left behind a bunch of wreckage in her wake that you have to clean up and deal with, while she just gets to go on her merry way. I have to tell you, though, that you are going to be the long-term winner here. She's saddled with a kid with a guy she barely knows. Just wait until the honeymoon wears off and she's stuck in a marriage with him. Meanwhile, you get to go on with your life and you'll meet somebody better. If she didn't pull BS when she did, then it would have happened even later on down the road after you had even more invested with her. You got a last-minute stay of execution from the Governor, my friend. Take it and don't look back.
Author mmiller5373 Posted March 12, 2011 Author Posted March 12, 2011 All I can tell you is that this person doesn't deserve to determine how you feel about yourself. You're a great guy and in time you'll find somebody who is more deserving of what you have to offer. You're hurting because you opened up your Real Self (your inner child/your soul/the part of you that is vulnerable) to her and she violated all of that. There's the feeling of unfairness too: she left behind a bunch of wreckage in her wake that you have to clean up and deal with, while she just gets to go on her merry way. It is totally unfair, isn't it? The fact that she got to move on months before she broke up with me. That fact that she knew what she was doing, yet, despite all that I did for her and her family, she still lied to me. I gave this girl something I had never given another person before. Yes, I've had relationships and I've had my breakups... but I've never felt so deeply connected to somebody before in my life. I have to tell you, though, that you are going to be the long-term winner here. She's saddled with a kid with a guy she barely knows. Just wait until the honeymoon wears off and she's stuck in a marriage with him. Meanwhile, you get to go on with your life and you'll meet somebody better. Oh, I know I'm the winner here. I haven't been updated on her status in 2 months (and I've told everyone that's still connected to her to keep the information away from me), but the last I heard was that this guy wasn't so sure about getting married to her anymore. There was also some rumblings about him lying about where he works at and that he disappears for hours. Not my problem anymore. If she didn't pull BS when she did, then it would have happened even later on down the road after you had even more invested with her. You got a last-minute stay of execution from the Governor, my friend. Take it and don't look back. This is true, my friend. I should be happy that it was only a 2.5 year relationship, and not something longer... or worse, a marriage with kids.
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