LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Women could care less if a man dies a virgin. All they want to do is pay attention to the guys who are A.) good looking, B.) socially adept, and C.) rich. If you don't fit this criteria, you might as well just give up, because no woman will want to be with you. And she'll make fun of you for being a virgin, and the only way out is either through getting prostitutes, or suicide.
Sanman Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Why would anyone care how successful a stranger is at dating?
Pyro Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Women could care less if a man dies a virgin. All they want to do is pay attention to the guys who are A.) good looking, B.) socially adept, and C.) rich. If you don't fit this criteria, you might as well just give up, because no woman will want to be with you. And she'll make fun of you for being a virgin, and the only way out is either through getting prostitutes, or suicide. hmm lets see: I am average looking, shy at times, and a broke ass college student. I am getting married in June. Why are you so frustrated today?
tigressA Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Why would anyone care how successful a stranger is at dating? Exactly. If someone isn't interested in you, why would they care at all about how you fare in the dating world? Why SHOULD they care?
Intricategirl Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 To be fair, it's not my job to get you laid. It's my job to get ME laid. And I'm going to put that effort into me and MY own personal relationships and leave you to do the same. It's absurd to think that they should make it their responsibility to de-virginize you. As if that's their entire reason for living... Tell me, do you really want a woman who doesn't think you're special in any way, and just gives you a pity screw? If you do, you'll deserve exactly what you end up with.
Author LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 Exactly. If someone isn't interested in you, why would they care at all about how you fare in the dating world? Why SHOULD they care? Why should I care how you fare in dating, either? Why should I come here and offer advice, if I don't care what happens to you? Because...I care. I think everyone should have a partner. Does that make me delusional? Should I call up my local mental hospital and say, "Institutionalize me! I'm delusional for thinking everyone is entitled to love, sex, and intimacy in a relationship?" I am irritated, because a bunch of people had a go at virgins in another thread. Now, it was aimed at Wayne Brady, but I took offense to it. And the bottom line is, nobody bleeping cares if a guy gets to his late 20's and he's never kissed a girl. They just make a movie of the week out of it, and laugh their bleeping asses off.
Intricategirl Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Why should I care how you fare in dating, either? Why should I come here and offer advice, if I don't care what happens to you? Because...I care. I think everyone should have a partner. Does that make me delusional? Should I call up my local mental hospital and say, "Institutionalize me! I'm delusional for thinking everyone is entitled to love, sex, and intimacy in a relationship?" I know it wasn't directed to me, but you shouldn't care. We are all strangers, and it's not healthy to get caught up in other people's lives. I like the people here, I've read some wise things and I've read some stupid things. But I'm not invested in it. Somehow, you guys got along perfectly without me, and will manage to continue doing so if I am gone. The most helpful thing my therapist ever taught me is that it doesn't matter whether you are loved at that moment in time. Right now, I am REALLY alone, not just romantically, but in every aspect of my life. But it's not about being loved right that second. It's about believing you are lovable. It's about believing you are WORTHY of love. And that carries me through a lot of days. When my bed is empty, friends aren't available, and family is dying or moving away- I can do an internal check and know that I am worth being loved. And it's not because somebody else says so. The external validation is not what it's all about.
tigressA Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I know it wasn't directed to me, but you shouldn't care. We are all strangers, and it's not healthy to get caught up in other people's lives. I like the people here, I've read some wise things and I've read some stupid things. But I'm not invested in it. Somehow, you guys got along perfectly without me, and will manage to continue doing so if I am gone. The most helpful thing my therapist ever taught me is that it doesn't matter whether you are loved at that moment in time. Right now, I am REALLY alone, not just romantically, but in every aspect of my life. But it's not about being loved right that second. It's about believing you are lovable. It's about believing you are WORTHY of love. And that carries me through a lot of days. When my bed is empty, friends aren't available, and family is dying or moving away- I can do an internal check and know that I am worth being loved. And it's not because somebody else says so. The external validation is not what it's all about. Thank you for saying what I could not.
threebyfate Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 The entire framework of your premise is inaccurate. It's suggesting that women should be responsible for men and because they refuse to be responsible for men, that you're disillusioned. The last sentence is drama personified with "prostitutes or suicide". It sets up the false premise that life isn't worth living without sex. You're not a victim except within yourself. In attempting to adhere to PUA, you're going down a similar path as Mystery who attempted suicide after years of being the Maestro of Bang. He was getting laid more than regularly, was doing great financially, partied all the time and yet, it wasn't enough to keep him from wanting to end it. So why? Something to mull over since it should lead you to a more healthy conclusion of what life is all about.
sally4sara Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Don't be a panda. http://www.robotswithfeelings.com/2010-02-12/pandas
Author LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 Well, that makes this forum kind of pointless, doesn't it? A waste of time, if you ask me. The people on Social Anxiety Support were absolutely right. People don't care about each other. Someone can be bullied, or be physically assaulted, right in front of them, and they don't care. The only thing they care about is THEMSELVES. You're all a bunch of narcissists. If that is what being human is, then I'm not human.
Intricategirl Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Well, that makes this forum kind of pointless, doesn't it? A waste of time, if you ask me. The people on Social Anxiety Support were absolutely right. People don't care about each other. Someone can be bullied, or be physically assaulted, right in front of them, and they don't care. The only thing they care about is THEMSELVES. You're all a bunch of narcissists. If that is what being human is, then I'm not human. You're still not getting me. Not wanting to see someone hurt is different than actively assisting them in their goals. Their goals may or may not be healthy. Example: Charlie Sheen is losing his mind. He's made it his goal to surround himself with prostitutes and fool himself into thinking that they care about him. According to your logic, I should help him. According to my logic, he's on his own. Now, if the man OD'd in front of me, I'd do everything I could to save him because that's what being a human is about. But it's not up to me to make sure he hits every one of his life goals, whether I think they are healthy or not. By the same token, it's not a girl's job to date you and have sex with you because that's what you want. Or because it would help you out. Humanity has nothing to do with it. If she's not interested and goes along with it anyway, she's being fake to you and fake to herself. Not exactly the definition of a "nice" or "good" girl. She's started something with you on a false premise.
Author LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 You're still not getting me. Not wanting to see someone hurt is different than actively assisting them in their goals. Their goals may or may not be healthy. Example: Charlie Sheen is losing his mind. He's made it his goal to surround himself with prostitutes and fool himself into thinking that they care about him. According to your logic, I should help him. According to my logic, he's on his own. Now, if the man OD'd in front of me, I'd do everything I could to save him because that's what being a human is about. But it's not up to me to make sure he hits every one of his life goals, whether I think they are healthy or not. By the same token, it's not a girl's job to date you and have sex with you because that's what you want. Or because it would help you out. Humanity has nothing to do with it. If she's not interested and goes along with it anyway, she's being fake to you and fake to herself. Not exactly the definition of a "nice" or "good" girl. She's started something with you on a false premise. One date? Seriously, one date? What, am I forcing her to eat lunch as well? I'd pay for it! This is why men get bitter and hate women. It's because they're so goddamn picky. You have to have your own place, a job, a car, be rich, be good looking/have lots of muscles, and have lots of great social skills and confidence. The key to a man's heart? Show up naked, and bring beer. That's it. I know that's a running joke, but god, isn't it the truth! If I was able to be gay, like everyone assumes I am (everyone assumes that, since I've never had a girlfriend, I must be gay), I would be. It would save me trouble from dealing with women, who are shallow and vapid. But instead, I have to either hear all about her boyfriend, or her husband, or how she doesn't like me that way but she's sure I'll be a great catch! (hint: if I'm such a great catch, date me!) It makes me want to scream sometimes. I am not physically unattractive, I am a kind and generous person, but I don't A.) do drugs or drink alcohol, B.) party, C.) am introverted and not outgoing, and D.) I am skinny and wear glasses. 4 strikes against me. Most women don't like guys like me, and the ones that do are already married to guys like me!
threebyfate Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 "If you refuse to help me in the manner I want, at my convenience, you're a narcissist." Pure irony.
betterdeal Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Because...I care. No you don't. You're projecting your fears and desires onto the entire population of the world. I think everyone should have a partner. I don't want a partner right now. I'm happy improving, enjoying, living my life as it is. I am certainly not going to jump into a relationship right now. I am very unlikely to jump into bed with someone right now. Does that make me delusional? It makes you sound a touch interfering, which offends me. Should I call up my local mental hospital and say, "Institutionalize me! I'm delusional for thinking everyone is entitled to love, sex, and intimacy in a relationship?" What, everyone? What about paedophiles? Is there a child out there for them? Why don't they deserve your blessing? I am irritated, because a bunch of people had a go at virgins in another thread. Now, it was aimed at Wayne Brady, but I took offense to it. And the bottom line is, nobody bleeping cares if a guy gets to his late 20's and he's never kissed a girl. They just make a movie of the week out of it, and laugh their bleeping asses off. There are 6 billion people on Earth. Some will say and do bad things, be thoughtless, be offensive. Some will do and say good things. I have had the pleasure of having my virginity taken by a much more experienced woman, and the fortune of being guided and supported by two other much more experienced women through the emotional overdrive that I inevitably experienced. How dare you paint these women as heartless or uncaring. They'e done more for my growth, enjoyment, happiness than you have. Why weren't you there when I needed you to fix my life for me? Look, be true, speak from your heart, be enjoyable to be around and be open to new experiences, and I promise you, you will meet like-minded people, including women who will want to **** your brains in. The secret, the real trick to all this crazy sex, love, happiness, life thing is knowing when to say "yes".
Author LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 "If you refuse to help me in the manner I want, at my convenience, you're a narcissist." Pure irony. I said not caring about the welfare of others, only caring about yourself, makes you a narcissist. Isn't that the definition of a narcissist? Only caring about what happens to you?
threebyfate Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I said not caring about the welfare of others, only caring about yourself, makes you a narcissist. Isn't that the definition of a narcissist? Only caring about what happens to you?I see. So people giving advice on LS to you, are doing so because they're narcissistic? Take a look at the advice I gave you within this thread. I get nothing from it but gave it freely. Don't know you from a hole in the ground and at this point, don't care to know you from a hole in the ground if it means getting insulted for trying to help. Seriously, the irony is so thick in this thread, the Hope diamond would be guaranteed safe behind these walls.
betterdeal Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Isn't that the definition of a narcissist? Only caring about what happens to you? http://tinyurl.com/5r5jabv
Author LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 I see. So people giving advice on LS to you, are doing so because they're narcissistic? Take a look at the advice I gave you within this thread. I get nothing from it but gave it freely. Don't know you from a hole in the ground and at this point, don't care to know you from a hole in the ground if it means getting insulted for trying to help. Seriously, the irony is so thick in this thread, the Hope diamond would be guaranteed safe behind these walls. Your advice wasn't all that helpful. And I answered it. You didn't respond to my response. You know what? Screw it. I'm going to become a monk and go live in the woods or something. Women are too much trouble.
somedude81 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Leaning, People will try to help and give you advice, but they are not going to do it for you. Sex is usually very special to a woman and she's not going to give it away just because somebody asked. It's the same thing if a homeless guy walked up to you and asked you for $100. It doesn't matter how much he needs it, odds are you wouldn't give it to him. Yes it's often very hard to just get a date and it sucks. Women are often very picky and for the simple reason that they can be. Male humans are like the males of many other species. It's out job to impress the females to get them to want to mate with us. You only have two options, try to improve yourself so that female will consider you, or give up and die a virgin.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Look, I get it. You're frustrated that no one seems to even give you a chance. You don't necessarily think that any particular girl is obligated to be with you, but the odds are someone, somewhere has to be interested, right? Since I'm on the side of the fence that you're talking about (being a virgin) I can tell you that if you've made it through college (or the equivalent age, say 21-24) and you've never kissed a girl, likely something is wrong with you (confidence or other issues). And odds are that the delay in beginning to seriously date and have romantic relationships does negatively affect someone's personal growth and development, at least for most people. I can completely understand why no girl would want to deal with that. It's likely that if the roles were reversed that's what my position would be. I'd like to think otherwise, but I have to be reasonable. I'm not going to tell you to keep your chin up and stay happy etc. because that would be vague and crappy advice. I will however wish you luck, because honestly, that's what this is probably going to come down to.
Kamille Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 The key to a man's heart? Show up naked, and bring beer. That's it. I know that's a running joke, but god, isn't it the truth! (...) But instead, I have to either hear all about her boyfriend, or her husband, or how she doesn't like me that way but she's sure I'll be a great catch! (hint: if I'm such a great catch, date me!) Here's my take leaning. If that is you in your avatar, then you seem like a decent looking guy. Otherwise, I'll take your word for it. You say yourself you befriend women in the hopes of asking them out. You say yourself you seem to miss out on that window of opportunity before getting friend zoned. I think it isn't that you miss out on the window of opportunity, but perhaps don't know how to create it. I somehow get the impression that when you befriend a girl, you perhaps give a vibe of "I hope you like me", which really isn't that sexy in anyone, man or woman. I inserted the above quote because something dawned on me as I read it: you remind me of a female poster here who, for years, would consistently go after emotionally unavailable men. We would tell her not to get emotionally invested in someone who wasn't showing clear signs of interests, and then she would play the friend card: ah well, we can still be friends, I'm not that emotionally involved. Weeks later, she would come back with a series of events, trying to figure out whether or not her "friend" was into her. Listen, yes, men and women can be friends. They can be friends as long as they mostly tow the line of not wanting more than friendship. Otherwise, the "friendship" will be emotionally exhausting for the lusting party and will likely create/perpetuate self-esteem issues. I am friends in men I am not sexually interested in. I would never, however, befriend a guy in the hopes he'll eventually fall in love with me. What you need to learn how to do is how to flirt. You need to learn how to create excitement. I'm not talking PUA shanigans, but learning to be comfortable with the playfulness of seduction. You say you have many friends that are girl in real life, they, better than internet strangers, could tell you how you can spruce up your personality. I say this because I went through the same process. I had self-esteem issues and would actually try to play down the fact that I was a smart often opinionated women when I was meeting guys. I eventually learned how to harness the smarts and the opinions so that men who dug that in a woman would find me attractive. So figure out which of your traits you try to play down - and spend time brainstorming how you can actually play them up. Also, no one says you are doomed to wearing glasses - or being skinny for that matter. You think your glasses are a problem? Get a new pair, or chuck them altogether and get lenses. You think the fact you're scrawny is getting in your way? Start training to build muscle. My point is this: the answer to your problem won't result from a thorough analysis of the female gender and our psyche, cause, guess what, no two women are the same. Results will come from you taking actions to help yourself. Take power - stop giving it away and putting it in the hands of others.
HeavenOrHell Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I know you're upset but it's not fair to have a go at ALL women! We're not all shallow My partner is neither rich, socially adept (I LIKE his social awkwardness, it's cute and attrattive to me) or especially good looking (well he is to me, but probably not to everyone else). The key to my man's heart would not be to turn up naked with a beer, he doesn't drink for a start, nor do I, if I turned up naked on our first meet up he'd have thought I was a slut and run a mile. I am picky but not in the way you describe, picky as in I need a partner to be kind, caring, considerate, not loud, not a party or club goer, needs to be veggie (as animal welfare is a big part of who I am), unconventional, affectionate. I don't look for any of the things you describe. Oh and my partner is skinny, wears glasses, is introverted, is anti drink and drugs, perfect One date? Seriously, one date? What, am I forcing her to eat lunch as well? I'd pay for it! This is why men get bitter and hate women. It's because they're so goddamn picky. You have to have your own place, a job, a car, be rich, be good looking/have lots of muscles, and have lots of great social skills and confidence. The key to a man's heart? Show up naked, and bring beer. That's it. I know that's a running joke, but god, isn't it the truth! If I was able to be gay, like everyone assumes I am (everyone assumes that, since I've never had a girlfriend, I must be gay), I would be. It would save me trouble from dealing with women, who are shallow and vapid. But instead, I have to either hear all about her boyfriend, or her husband, or how she doesn't like me that way but she's sure I'll be a great catch! (hint: if I'm such a great catch, date me!) It makes me want to scream sometimes. I am not physically unattractive, I am a kind and generous person, but I don't A.) do drugs or drink alcohol, B.) party, C.) am introverted and not outgoing, and D.) I am skinny and wear glasses. 4 strikes against me. Most women don't like guys like me, and the ones that do are already married to guys like me!
Kamille Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 You say you have many friends that are girl in real life, they, better than internet strangers, could tell you how you can spruce up your personality. Didn't preview my post before submitting: I meant "spruce up your game by showcasing unique aspects of your personality".
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