london_gradstu Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I've come here to continue a debate I began last night with my best friend of a few years :-) We were out having a quick after work drink when she was approached by a guy in the bar who asked for her number. My friend is married so obviously said no! This is not the first time she has been approached whilst we have been out ( I can remember at least four) and she regularly gets guys who are interested when we attend work events such as conferences etc. I joked about the lack of guys who have ever approached me who I did not previously know in some capacity (e.g. friends, work colleges etc) which stands at a grand total of zero! She said it was because guys have 'no imagination when it comes to women.' When I asked her to explain this she said that the majority of guys only find one type of woman attractive. Here it would be helpful to explain some more about me and my friend! We are in the looks department complete opposites!! Not in the level of attractiveness per se but in our respective styles. My friend is dark, slim but curvy, very big fake boobs, lots of make-up, dressed rather 'glamourously', always in very high heeled shoes... (I've been on holiday with her and it takes about 2 hours to achieve her look in the morning whereas mine is about 30mins!) Me on the other hand...slim but not curvy! small boobs, blonde hair, petite (I have to buy children's sized clothes sometimes...) 'quirky' dress sense, inspired by trips to charity shops and what I can work up on my sewing machine, wear glasses (though they are quite funky glasses), prefer the natural make-up look etc. Now my friend thinks that guys only really go for her style as that what men tend to be into and that they don't have enough imagination and watch too much porn to appreciate anything else. I attempted to maintain this was not true and have faith that guys are not just interested in one 'type' of woman :-) But what do others think? Is it easier to attract a guys attention if you fit a particular stereotype? Do guy's have a similar problem? Let the debate continue...
Nexus One Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) I'm not sure if you mean that guys only fall for curvy girls/women or that you mean they just have one type. Personally I like slim/slender girls, that doesn't mean I don't like curvy girls/women, I just like slender girls more. Examples of the body types I like: http://bit.ly/dZC2Ss (a high res version this time) I'd say that's a pretty wide palette, except for perhaps the body types. Note though that none of those women are anorexic skinny, nor do they have fake boobs. I'd say only 3 girls of that list qualify as moderately curvy. Edited March 11, 2011 by Nexus One
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I would tend to disagree with your friend. Guys find a variety of women attractive. Same as women find a variety of guys attractive. The only cases that seem universally unattractive are those that are sloppy with their appearances. You know, the guy who goes out unshaven (unless he's growing a beard) and unclean (it takes 5-10 mins to jump in the shower, soap up, wash your hair, towel off, and get dressed.) Also, those that don't throw out clothes that are falling apart (unless it's a pair of jeans, which tends to be more "rockstar" than anything), and doesn't color code his wardrobe. And women that are the equivalent of that. Unless you're trying to turn off men, you'll dress sexy.
Author london_gradstu Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 To clarify: I don't think all guys have one type and I don't think that all guys who have a type have the same type if that makes sense!
Sanman Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 OP, I prefer your general style and if I were at a party I would most likely talk to you and ask you out (though I prefer brunettes). Now, if I were at a bar and buzzed, I may try and score a one night stand with your friend. Are you after more approaches or more guys who are relationship material?
Cee Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I agree with Sanman. You would be a hit at parties because men will not only want to look at you, but get to know you as a person. I think a woman could cultivate a certain "look" to get hit on by random guys in a bar. This isn't the universe of men out there, only the men who do a cold approach at a bar. I have a hunch that while your friend is getting hit on left and right, there are several men who have their eye on you. I suggest that you look around and make eye contact or make a little joke. Then, they'd have the go ahead to strike up a conversation. Personally, I think your sense of style is attractive. And my male friends prefer your look over your friend's. However, these guys aren't going to march up to you and get your number. They'd rather build a little rapport first, determine compatibility, and then ask for your number. Get out there and meet some men.
tigressA Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 OP, I prefer your general style and if I were at a party I would most likely talk to you and ask you out (though I prefer brunettes). Now, if I were at a bar and buzzed, I may try and score a one night stand with your friend. Are you after more approaches or more guys who are relationship material? This. Your friend gets approached more, and in the venues that you go to, because she makes herself look easy. Guys who go to bars to try to meet women are usually just looking to hook up, and when it comes to that they don't want much of a challenge. It's highly likely that they don't view your friend as relationship material so much as someone to do the f*ck-and-fade on.
fishtaco Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Well, I'm not into quirky women. I'm into women that know how to make themselves look good. Sometimes when I see a woman, I'd be like... too much blush. Or... foundation (or whatever it is that women use) is too pale for her skin type, she looks like a clown. If a guy can comment on her makeup technique, it's time to go to MAC and ask one of those transvestite sales people to show her a thing or two. They are surprisingly good at this make up business. She would catch my attention more than you. And doesn't matter if I want sex or relationship, I'll notice the ones that make me notice them first. It is what it is. Tall guys have it easier than short guys too. World is not fair.
SteveC80 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I think its the oppsoite i think Men are attracted to a more diverse group of women then vice versa
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I attempted to maintain this was not true and have faith that guys are not just interested in one 'type' of woman :-) But what do others think? Is it easier to attract a guys attention if you fit a particular stereotype? Do guy's have a similar problem? You are correct. So, why do you not get approached as often? More than likely men who are attracted to your style are less aggressive. More likely they tend to place a higher value on personality and less on boobs. I was just having drinks with a female friend yesterday who has gained a good chunk of weight over the last year and a half. As a result her bra size has gone up considerably... along with everything else. She was saying yesterday that the amount of overly aggressive male attention has more than tripled. I've seen this happen too. At a sales convention last year, I was on the same bus with her just in the seat behind her. She was reading a book and had her headphones in. The guy sitting next to her literally ripped the headphones out of her ear to strike up a conversation.
jane100 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) I'm attractive, I am very curvy, but I don't have men "hitting on me" on buses lol, and never have, even when I was younger. Mind you this is the UK, am I right in thinking American men seem more obsessed with being "stacked" (I dunno, just an impression I get, LOL) I think its little to do with breasts or beauty - but a certain kind of "look" that seems to invite men. Whether its glamour, or a porny look (eek!) I can't say. So, your friend could be right on the imagination front. But she sounds very "knowing" all the same since she appears to dress to appeal to that ... if thats what you're saying. But really, at the end of the day, does it matter? I think you have to feel beautiful as you genuinely are and that will shine through, regardless. You might not have men ripping out your earphones on buses, but perhaps that is not something a normal person would want happening in their day-to-day life! Edited March 11, 2011 by jane100
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I'm attractive, I am very curvy, but I don't have men "hitting on me" on buses lol, and never have, even when I was younger. Mind you this is the UK, am I right in thinking American men seem more obsessed with being "stacked" (I dunno, just an impression I get, LOL) I think its little to do with breasts or beauty - but a certain kind of "look" that seems to invite men. Whether its glamour, or a porny look (eek!) I can't say. So, your friend could be right on the imagination front. But she sounds very "knowing" all the same since she appears to dress to appeal to that ... if thats what you're saying. But really, at the end of the day, does it matter? I think you have to feel beautiful as you genuinely are and that will shine through, regardless. You might not have men ripping out your earphones on buses, but perhaps that is not something a normal person would want happening in their day-to-day life! No, if you look up the studies UK men are MORE interested in women with big boobs than US men, though not by a huge percentage. The defining difference is that some 60% of UK men liked the look of fake boobs vs. the womans before picture, whereas in the US it was about 50%. Part of that may be attributed to a cultural backlash against cosmetic surgery. To the point though... men like all types, but aggressive men tend to go after certain attributes and busty is one of those. I honestly believe its based more on the perception of sexual availability than than sexual attraction. BTW... my friend dresses very conservatively. Strong catholic girl with a pretty face and a job that requires her to dress professional... think Hillary Clinton style.
EasyHeart Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Your friend gets approached more, and in the venues that you go to, because she makes herself look easy. Guys who go to bars to try to meet women are usually just looking to hook up, and when it comes to that they don't want much of a challenge. It's highly likely that they don't view your friend as relationship material so much as someone to do the f*ck-and-fade on.Ditto. Your friend (whether intentionally or not) is cultivating a look that says "I am available for casual sex" and men are simply responding to the offer.
jane100 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 No, if you look up the studies UK men are MORE interested in women with big boobs than US men, though not by a huge percentage. The defining difference is that some 60% of UK men liked the look of fake boobs vs. the womans before picture, whereas in the US it was about 50%. Part of that may be attributed to a cultural backlash against cosmetic surgery. Is there a cultural backlash against cosmetic surgery in US? Personally, though I can see the temptation, ultimately I think it looks awful.
jane100 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Tall guys have it easier than short guys too. World is not fair. Some shorter guys are gorgeous, they get their fair share ...
EasyHeart Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 I don't know any men who are attracted to fake boobs and most find it repulsive. Would you really want the mother of your children to have fake boobs? I consider implants to be a red flag because they are generally a sign of insecurity.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Is there a cultural backlash against cosmetic surgery in US? Personally, though I can see the temptation, ultimately I think it looks awful. Yes. It has dramatically changed the type of breast implant women go for. In the past the high profile Pamela Anderson style boobs were the most popular. They look very fake, but women often liked the type of cleavage they presented. More natural looking implants were available, but often not chosen in the 80's and 90's... which is not true in the US today. Also, people like that cat lady, and Micheal Jackson who go crazy with it are looked down on. Many guys don't like Ashlee Simpson's nose job, although it has improved her appearance... many of us liked her more before.
fishtaco Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Some shorter guys are gorgeous, they get their fair share ... And some tall guys are total dorks and can't get anything. Of course. But generally speaking tall guys get more attention than short guys. Just like rich guys get more attention than poor guys. It's the way of the world. If you're not tall and not rich, it doesn't mean you're screwed, it just means you have to make up for it some other way, like being gorgeous for example.
welikeincrowds Posted March 12, 2011 Posted March 12, 2011 I consider implants to be a red flag because they are generally a sign of insecurity. It's hard being a woman, man. I might even go as far as to say that this thread is evidence of that. More people undertake those operations than you realize; it's not just the Housewives of Wherever. Don't hate.
willma Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 I LOVE women. Tall or short, thin or thick, big boobs or little boobs, it doesn't matter. What does matter is how a woman holds herself. An air of self confidence with a calm, assertive attitude towards life often projects to a man as sexy. Yes, men tend to be visual creatures and yes, the overdone make-up, attire, etc. will grab attention, but often it attracts the wrong kind of attention. Women who over or under do their look often suffer from low self-esteem and often unsuccessful in their relationships with a man. A little make-up goes a long way. Too much makes you look fake. Too little makes you look "dumpy" or plain. Dressing in cute outfits that flatter your body is nice. Dressing like a street walker, is not. Dressing in baggy, "dumpy" looking clothes, is not. The bottom line is that too much or too little of anything is going to project negatively to a man. All things in moderation. Be relaxed, calm, and have a positive, assertive attitude towards life.
djhall Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 My friend is dark, slim but curvy, very big fake boobs, lots of make-up, dressed rather 'glamourously', always in very high heeled shoes... (I've been on holiday with her and it takes about 2 hours to achieve her look in the morning whereas mine is about 30mins!) Me on the other hand...slim but not curvy! small boobs, blonde hair, petite (I have to buy children's sized clothes sometimes...) 'quirky' dress sense, inspired by trips to charity shops and what I can work up on my sewing machine, wear glasses (though they are quite funky glasses), prefer the natural make-up look etc. If it helps, from your descriptions I am fairly confident I would find you physically more attractive than your friend. The quirky dress sense could go either way... not sure less I saw it. That said, it is quite possible the attention difference is due to guys looking at the heavy makeup, fake breasts, dressing for attention, and body language and think she is more "available" sexually. Depending on what kind of guy and what kind of interest you are trying to attract, it may not be a bad thing these guys aren't hitting on you too.
Darren Taylor Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Of course. But generally speaking tall guys get more attention than short guys. Just like rich guys get more attention than poor guys. It's the way of the world. Yep. Take 2 guys that are the same in every category except height. Guy A is 6'0" and guy B is 5'9". Guy A will win. Just the way it is. If you're not tall and not rich, it doesn't mean you're screwed, it just means you have to make up for it some other way, like being gorgeous for example. That's one way, but not necessarily required. Good looking, freakishly talented in something, Chris Rock-esque funny. Those will trump any negative qualities.
musemaj11 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Your friend is right. Sexually men are attracted to porny looking women. But its pure sexual desire. Most men arent emotionally attracted to porny looking women.
SmileFace Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Yep. Take 2 guys that are the same in every category except height. Guy A is 6'0" and guy B is 5'9". Guy A will win. Just the way it is. . Haha this is such bull......... haha
SmileFace Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Your friend dress likes she is looking for a man. You dress like you have one. Point blank.
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