ice salamander Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Let's say your exclusive girlfriend of 7 months cooked some really great pot roast. However in the middle of your meal she takes a portion and puts it in some tupper-ware. Then she brings this portion to her best guy friend. Am I being sensitive to this issue? This kind of made me feel as if cooking for me wasn't as special. It's kind of like wtf? There are a couple of other things that she does, mainly with her guy friend like this situation that just bugs me. How many of you would keep dating a girl if you somehow felt undermined (not jealous, insecure) by her best guy friend that she's know for about 6 months before we started dating. I have talked to her about this, but then she thinks I'm simply overreacting or making a big deal out of nothing. FYI I only suggested that I found it to be very odd. Nothing more, nothing less. But in the back of my mind I don't like it.
Confusedalways Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Hmm... depends I guess. One of my best guy [straight] friends is single, lives alone, and lives on takeout. I do bring him some left overs from time to time when I cook for my boyfriend and I, although I have known my friend for almost my entire life, and i've only been dating my boyfriend for 6 or 7 months. I don't think it's a big deal inherently, if she's otherwise trustworthy. However, if it bothers you, it doesn't matter if people on a forum don't think it's a big deal. If it's going to bubble up and be more of an issue, best to just nip it in the bud. Maybe a compromise, like asking her to fill up the tupperware after the meal is over.
threebyfate Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Does she cook for you fairly regularly or was this for a special occasion? If it's the former, I agree with her. If it's the latter, I agree with you. In the situation where I agree with her, I'd say it's a matter of trust on your side. If you want to continue this relationship, best to learn how to trust or you might as well dump her now. That is, unless she's given you good reason not to trust her. And if so, why would you still be with her? In the situation where I agree with you, her actions were incredibly tasteless to parcel out a special meal to a third party. If anyone deserves a doggy bag, it's you, her guy, the one she made the special meal for.
Author ice salamander Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 Thanks for the responses. However, why is everything always about trust? In my mind it wasn't about trust. If I were to do something nice and cook dinner for my girlfriend, I wouldn't even think about cutting a portion to bring to another friend girl. The only person I'd have on my mind at the time would be my SO. I ask because stuff like this happens all the time. I've only had a few girlfriends in my life, yet all of them have had lots of close male friends. I also wanted to expose the implications when you date a girl with lots of male friends. I just seems like nobody has any common sense anymore.
Author ice salamander Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 So was this for a special occasion or not? It wasn't, but she rarely cooks. It was just a semi-romantic night in her condo.
threebyfate Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Step outside of the current situation. If she did this for a female friend, what do you think your reaction would be? Edit - I do agree that cutting off a slab in the middle of the meal was kind of tacky.
Author ice salamander Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 Step outside of the current situation. If she did this for a female friend, what do you think your reaction would be? Edit - I do agree that cutting off a slab in the middle of the meal was kind of tacky. Okay I'm going to be completely honest. I don't think I'd mind at all if it were a girl. However, I think the dynamics of a male to female relationship are completely different as opposed to a female to female. Whenever someone uses the what if it was a girl card, I don't think that fits in context. It's special because I'm the only male she's cooking for.
threebyfate Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 What if she gave a portion to a male family member of hers? A cousin?
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