CanadianGirl83 Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 BF and I have been together for just short of 9 months. I fell head over heals in love with him from the first moment I met him. BF assures me that I'm 'the girl that made him realize why it didn't work out with anyone else', but I know he's said that about other girlfriends. BF is 11 years older than I am. I'm 27 and he will be 39 soon. He has perfected the art of being self-sufficient. His whole life is set up to be completely independent of 'needing' someone else. I feel like I'm filling in the blanks: ie. get called while he's driving to the next activity. ( I should be happy that he makes the time) On top of that his sister doesn't like me so our first Christmas together she specifically asked that noone aside from immediate family members be invited. I was excluded even though my family was away leaving me completely alone on Christmas. I just fear that I am never going to be a priority and I'm not sure where I fit in after other commitments/family/activities. I don't like having to feel happy/grateful for getting the morsels of his time left over at the end of the day. I guess 'resentful'. I know his previous relationship didn't work out because his girlfriend complained that his activities took away from their relationship. So this happened before..she's described as clingy and controlling and he was out on 'parole' when he finally ended it. I want him to be happy and I love that he has his own thing going on. How do I deal with this? What should I do? Thank you for reading this far. I would very much appreciate any comments or insight.
MommyofThree Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 Hmmm. You kinda sound like me in a way. I have no family in the state where I live. My bf has family all around, but he gives me all his time and doesn't really hang out with them much anyway. But if he did, I would end up feeling like you. He excluded you because of his sister? Ouch! That must have been hard to deal with, being left all alone on Christmas. However, I'm pretty sure by next Christmas your bond will be a whole lot stronger so I don't think he would leave you by yourself again. What I recommend: Get a hobby. Fill your spare time with something else when he's off doing his own thing. - Take a college course. It doesn't have to be towards a degree, it can be for personal growth. - Volunteer somewhere like a local church, food pantry, pet store, etc. - Babysit for someone. - Take an extra curricular class like belly dancing, zumba, salsa, etc. - Join a gym. - Go to the library. - Make other female friends and go hang out with them. Good Luck, wish you the best
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