Keeping a promise or Dealing with reality

[Tayla]

Readers Digest version

1: Made plans to go away with an endearing friend.

2: Now I want to bag the whole idea and go on my own.

3: I struggle with making the "promise" to go away for two days.

4: The reality is he thinks I am just going to swoon all over him on this adventure , then after, he drops me like a hot potato. (thats been his MO for sooooo long)

5: So Now I have to "man up" so to speak and spell it out for him. I really care about him and know that we have some commonalities, but using a person isn't one of them.

6: So How do I tell him straight up that I cannot go with him based on his recent banter. Stuck between keeping a promise and dealing with reality on this one.....any thoughts?

[tfkizzle]

The Reader's Digest version is a little over my head I guess, because I'm confused. You think he's going away with you to use you? For sex? And he's a good, close friend you care about? That wants to use you for sex? But would "drop you" if you went away for the weekend with him?

 

It sounds like you both have very different ideas about the "friendship"...if you don't go away with him will you continue to be friends?

[Tayla]

jersey- not sure where your comment was coming from but it was a wee bit harsh. I'm of the opinion that the other poster was simply asking for clarification since it was less detailed to make a proper response.

 

tfkizzle- basically yes we are friends. This change of plans on my part will not go over well in the friend way.

[tfkizzle]

It sounds like his trying to use you for sex didn't go over so well with you either...

 

Did you make plans to go away together with the understanding that sex would happen, or is that something that he brought up since then?

[Tayla]

Today we spoke. He agrees to be a gent. He didnt realize his "suave" talk was uncomfortable. Luckily he does listen to my concerns as I do his when need be.