Abusive husband and pregnancy....

[infear]

Hello, I am new here. I have been married for 6 years, i am 7 month pregnant now. My husband has been emotionaly abusive since our first year of marriage. Sometimes i feell like i live on volcano i never know what is going to happen tomorrow. He always has mood swings, In every fight he tells me that he will throw me out, that i am not good enough for him, twists my words, tells me that everything is my fault, plus calles me name ( that hurt the most). I always stay callm or cry (what makes him laugh), because arguing with him, will make it worst. Plus another thing he is always going to online dating sites, for all this 6 years we have been married. I used to fight with him about that , but i got no results, he told me he is doing that because its my fault and i make him crazy. Now i just dont pay attention to that.

3 years ago we separated and filled divorse, 2 weeks after divorse he was calling me and asking me to come back ,he said that he went to therapist and he will treat me right. I got back with him, we got remarried and the same things started to happen again and again. Sometimes emotional pain gets me to the point when i think to hurt myself. I cant even enjoy my pregnancy, i am just horrifying to think how our relationships will be after our chield will be born.

[ShatteredReality]

It will get worse. Emotional abusers can stop and turn things around, but rarely do. They do need therapy, but not just some fly by night program that ends after three weeks and they are "cured". He will continue to abuse you this way for as long as you let him. He will turn the abuse, most likely, onto your children. If he doesn't abuse them directly he will abuse you in front of them and they will learn to disrespect you as he does. You should go to a meeting for at your local community center and speak with the women there...or listen to their stories. It will scare you...

 

I can completely relate and feel your pain...my H was terribly abuse for years. I won't tell you to leave - because I didn't. I have no room to talk. I will just tell you, like I said before, he will do it as long as you let him.

 

Beware - many verbal abusers also turn physical. Mine didn't, but most do.

[summerdowling87]

All I can say is please protect your self and unborn baby and if you can get out now so.You and your child will not suffer any longer in any shape or form.

[Eve]

Leave.

 

If you stay and anything happens to that child, you will jointly be to blame.

 

If you can't bring yourself to leave. Give up the child so he or she doesn't have to also live a pointless existence.

 

There are the choices. Find support today.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[sugarmomma]

He is emotionally abusive and you are emotionally dependent. Work on your dependency issues and the abuse will stop. You have a responsibility to your child.

[LittleTiger]

As sugamomma says, this is as much about your co-dependency as it is about your husband's abusive personality. Abusive men are usually narcissists or have narcissistic tendancies. Most people will say it's incurable and advise you to leave him. I believe it's possible for people like him to change but the hard work will need to be done by you. You change first and it's very likely he will change too. Once you are no longer co-dependent, he will begin to respect you and stop abusing you.

 

I'm not sure if we're allowed to recommend websites on here but I have no personal connection to these people so I can't see the harm. Visit www.narcissimcured.com. If anything you read there sounds similar to your relationship (even if it's only one small thing) then there is hope for your marriage. There are no guarantees of course but, if you don't want to leave him, it has to be worth a try - if only for the sake of your child.