iris219 Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 It’s not that I don’t feel sexual desire. I absolutely do, and a lot of sexual frustration right now! It’s that I’m rarely sexually attracted to other people. In fact, I’m often repulsed by others. I’ve read that some people who are asexual feel sexual desire, but are not sexually attracted to others. I’ve kissed guys I’ve found attractive and suddenly felt incredibly turned off (basically, I was turned on before the guy touched me, repulsed after. Or sometimes it’s not repulsion, it’s just nothing. I feel no sexual desire even though I did before kissing them). This is one of the reasons I haven’t dated anyone in awhile. I’ve even been nauseated by a guy handing my hand. I can remember going on a few dates with a very nice man about 5 years ago. Then one day he held my hand and immediately I freeze and start trying to talk myself out of feeling grossed out. He’s holding my hand and I’m saying to myself, “Calm down, this isn’t so bad, he’s just holding your hand.” But it was bad. I felt repulsion. I think I feel repulsed a lot more than the average person. I understand there are people we don’t want to have sex with, but how often have you been utterly repulsed? I had to end a 4 year relationship partly because it got to the point where sex with him made my skin crawl, and that clearly wasn’t fair to him. I did feel A LOT of sexual attraction for my most recent ex. Even after years, I would see him and feel the same level of physical/sexual attraction I felt for him when we first met. So, sexual attraction is possible for me, just improbable. And by the way, in case anyone wanted to suggest I date women, I’m in no way attracted to women sexually. And, no I’ve never been sexually abused. (Just trying to predict and dispel some of the possible responses). My friends tell me I’m just too picky, but is having an involuntary physical aversion to someone a matter of being picky? What should I do? Am I over-analyzing this? Thoughts?
purplepanda Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Isn't asexual when you reproduce without help from someone of the opposite sex?? o.O Lol, I just think you haven't kissed the right guy!
Author iris219 Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 Offcourse you're asexual, you are a woman. Most women are like you. What makes you say this?
Fondue Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I'm kind of the same as you, or at least, have been for the past couple of years. To me it's a little different though. I'll be horny enough to have sex, but RIGHT afterward, I have to leave. I feel repulsed by being with that person. The idea of laying next to them, sweaty, disgusting. It's awful. Then the possible conversation and/or cuddling that often women expect, I feel sick thinking about it. So I can have sex, but I can't maintain a sexual relationship afterwards. Simply cannot do so. That's exactly how I am. I HAVE to leave right after my climax. Regardless if it was sex, or oral sex. I just gotta bounce right then and there. I'm a male.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 There are just two things I suggest: be careful what you tell yourself, it is possible to draw an incorrect conclusion and then reinforce it as truth. Secondly, get professional help. Don't diagnose yourself. Be careful not to get a therapist who just wants to take your money and let you talk. Tell your potential therapist that you want to be seriously evaluate to see if there is a diagnosis so that you can at least start addressing your situation from some measure of fact. Sex and love and affection are good things. I hope you find whatever means you need to start valuing those things and getting them as well as giving them.
race_engine Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 To me it's a little different though. I'll be horny enough to have sex, but RIGHT afterward, I have to leave. I feel repulsed by being with that person. The idea of laying next to them, sweaty, disgusting. It's awful. Then the possible conversation and/or cuddling that often women expect, I feel sick thinking about it. So I can have sex, but I can't maintain a sexual relationship afterwards. Simply cannot do so. That's exactly how I am. I HAVE to leave right after my climax. Regardless if it was sex, or oral sex. I just gotta bounce right then and there. LOL dude you are awesome. this is how ALL males are haha, when it comes to females, dick em down and then bounce. seriously though, iris219, i think you just haven't met the right guy. you're just picky, and probably have high standards, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. you'll find someone eventually.
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