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Putting someone on a pedestal versus really liking them for who they are

watermelonjuice

By watermelonjuice
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watermelonjuice Established Member

watermelonjuice

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How do you differentiate your "love" for someone as 1. putting the person on a pedestal, imagining them to be the almost perfect person you think they are or 2. real liking for them for whoever they are?

 

I have had a crush on a guy but he's not available. There are things I don't like about him but I'm crushing hard. I'm also not sure whether it's because it's become a fact that he's not available that I feel the loss and am taking the lost crush so hard.

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watermelonjuice Established Member

watermelonjuice

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Anyone has an opinion to this question?

aisle_seat Established Member

aisle_seat

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I don't think you can love someone for who they are until you get to know them very well. The initial crush stage gets you close but that will wear off unless you truly fall in love the person they are inside.

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watermelonjuice Established Member

watermelonjuice

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I got to know a guy for only a few months. He has an SO. I think I like him but I'm not sure whether I'm putting him on a pedestal. I'm walking away but it's so difficult because I feel some kind of attachment to him.

 

How do I stop putting him on the pedestal and start seeing him for who he might really be? :confused::sick:

utterer of lies Established Member

utterer of lies

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I got to know a guy for only a few months. He has an SO. I think I like him but I'm not sure whether I'm putting him on a pedestal. I'm walking away but it's so difficult because I feel some kind of attachment to him.

 

How do I stop putting him on the pedestal and start seeing him for who he might really be? :confused::sick:

 

It's very simple. Try to have sex with him.

 

If he cheats on his SO with you, you know he's no good.

 

If he rejects you, you can continue to admire him from afar but you know you have no chance.

 

 

This might help you get over him. :)

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watermelonjuice Established Member

watermelonjuice

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It's very simple. Try to have sex with him.

 

If he cheats on his SO with you, you know he's no good.

 

If he rejects you, you can continue to admire him from afar but you know you have no chance.

 

 

This might help you get over him. :)

 

 

If the bold part happened, then I'll feel worse than what I'm already feeling.

 

I'm really at my wits end!

 

Has nobody else encountered such a situation before?

utterer of lies Established Member

utterer of lies

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If the bold part happened, then I'll feel worse than what I'm already feeling.

 

I'm really at my wits end!

 

Has nobody else encountered such a situation before?

 

Why would you feel worse? The situation would be essentially unchanged from the one right now, except you'd have a reason not to lose yourself in a fantasy anymore.

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watermelonjuice Established Member

watermelonjuice

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Why would you feel worse? The situation would be essentially unchanged from the one right now, except you'd have a reason not to lose yourself in a fantasy anymore.

 

That it would be interrupting my decision to stop seeing him and causing me to start from zero. So I would like to use other methods than having to see him again to stop my fantasy of him.

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