jaygirl Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 My bf and I have been dating for 8 months. I'm 25 and he's 26. We have known each other since we were 4. We haven't said "I love you" yet but I am feeling it, just have not verbalized it. BUT he makes my heart absolutely BREAK sometimes. He hates his job and I'm beginning to think he is depressed. He received a DUI a while back which I think really disappointed his family. He wants them to be proud. He is becoming such a negative person. He complains about things all the time. To get out of this negativity he turns to an alternate world and plays online video games. To the point in which he has chose them over me. It's so hurtful and he doesn't see it. When he is not playing we do have fun together. He has said I'm the only person he can be his "old self" around. He CAN be a lot of fun and a happy person, I don't know why he doesn't just choose this outlook ALL the time? We had a huge talk last night and I just want him to be happy. I don't know if it is worth continuing this relationship. I care SOO much about him and haven't felt like this before (even though I was in a 6.5 year relationship previously). I'm not ready for this to end...do you think he is?
Renewed Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Sometimes instead of talking about things people will escape to another world and slowly loose themselves. I have done it several times. Before I finally "woke up" I was a computer junkie. I work from home, I work all day and Im online all day long. This was a defense mechanism for me and it worked for a while until one day I looked up and saw how other people were enjoying life etc etc etc. I have just two bits of info for you. First why don't you play a game with him, you two can go to a game store pick out a computer game to play together or board game to play together since he seems to like games. Second let him have some me time sometimes. Now i'm not saying just let him play the games all the time and feel like you are second to the games. But let him do his thing every once and a while and you get a hobby to, something you like and while you are doing your hobbies he can do his. I think talking about it is a great idea just to let him know how you feel and where you stand and what kind of resolution you too will make.
sunsh1n3 Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Hi, this is a tricky one. Its very hard when theres feelings involved, but at the end of the day, his depression is his problem. I know i dnt want to see him go down this road, but being with someone who is feeling like this will only drag you down too. I have a friend who has been dating her boyfriend for 2 years and he sounds similar to your boyfriend. She has almost become a different person! Your boyfriend is obviously very thankful to have you around..... but he needs to deal with his own problem. All you can do is be there for him and support him all you can. But try to stay positive and maybe even suggest that he talks to sumone professional. A relationship shouldnt be this hard so soon! but dont give up.... hang in there!
Author jaygirl Posted March 10, 2011 Author Posted March 10, 2011 Thank you both for replying! And yeah I think he is escaping to an alternate reality with the game. He says it calms him down and I'm sure it does because it gets his mind of work but it seems unfair to have me over to only play the game. I don't even want to get a game or become involved in his online game, just because I don't want to encourage it. But honestly sometimes it seems like I should if I actually want to TALK to him some nights. I think I am going to get another hobby though too, I tutor some nights but I also want to start running or kickboxing. So I am going to look into that today I will try to stay positive and see what happens. I'd really like it to work out but I'll try not to get my hopes up. I know it shouldn't be this hard so soon into the relationship, it's the most challenging one I've ever been in, but also the one I've felt the most passionate about. I want it to work.
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