I Really Dont Know Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I never thought I'd say this, but I f---ing hate it!!! It wasn't so bad before. I had a pretty awesome life as a kid I must say. Things were good from.. around 6th grade until my early 20's. Which, I admit.. were the 'golden' years .. but now I'm almost 40. All these women my age.... I just feel a deep instinctual feeling that my dating life is over. But... if I go out, I still see girls in their early 20's, sometimes even teens, who probably think I'm some 20 something y.o. dude... it makes me feel "good" but I can't be with that no more. I feel old and boring... But, sometimes I see older girls my age... like tonight I saw one at the laundrimat, who was kinda, I dunno.. giving me looks. They smile, say hi.. but, even with that, just physically, I feel like their little brother. It's cause I'm short, like 5'4".. and have a really 'teen' looking body. And a babyface. I know some girls would give me a shot, but........ I kinda screwed myself by being so overly depressed about this that..... I kinda AM a bore now. So... the irony is, I was so depressed over looking so young, but really.. they didn't mind that. Now, it's the side effect of depression which is becoming a bore that I think is the problem. Well, I KNOW is the problem. I just want to look like a MAN!!!!!!! I'm so f---ing bored and tired of looking 23. If you think I"m complaining, let's trade. Seriously. You can have it. I'll take being 5'10" and bald and beer gut anyday.
Cee Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I believe that when we attribute lack of dating success to an physical characteristic that can't be changed, then we set ourselves up for hopelessness and depression. Women aren't passing you by for your height, build or babyface- well, maybe some are... but you don't need every woman to want you, only a few that you are into. Research shows that optimism can't hurt a person's chance of success. Whereas, negativity and cutting yourself down will create a self-fulfilling prophecy of women passing on you. I suggest that you hope for the best and proceed with the belief that you'll meet somebody eventually. It's not easy to meet a compatible mate, so slipping into depression seems pretty normal to me. I don't have any magic answers here. Keep posting and vent here, so you don't bring that energy in the dating arena. Hang in there.
Phateless Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 I know you're tired of hearing this but it's all in your head. Sack up, snap out of it, lift weights to get a little bigger if you think it'll help, and just be confident! Once women can tell how old you are (from talking to you) they'll be interested. If you think you're boring, do some fun stuff! Then you have interesting stories to tell. You know the solution to your problem, you just need to hear us tell you to sack up and get with the program. So... what are you going to do TODAY to make your life more interesting to YOU?
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 10, 2011 Posted March 10, 2011 Let me tell you, life's not any easier on the other side of the equation. I'm 23 and look like I'm 35. I have always looked older. I have yet to have any success in my efforts in dating. Trust me, it's not because you look young.
Author I Really Dont Know Posted March 11, 2011 Author Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) *edit* Ok.. you know my REAL reason?? Online dating sites totally sucks ass Edited March 11, 2011 by I Really Dont Know
Phateless Posted March 11, 2011 Posted March 11, 2011 *edit* Ok.. you know my REAL reason?? Online dating sites totally sucks ass Yes they do. I can honestly tell you I recently helped my friend revise his profile (honestly I just rearranged the info and added 1 or 2 sentences, and picked out better pics) and he's getting way better response! Make sure the interesting parts about WHO YOU ARE (not what you do) are up top. Then transition down to the details (name, rank, serial number) toward the bottom of the page. Ignore/repurpose the labels for the text fields if you have to. Make sense? WRONG: I'm John, I'm 38, I'm from here, bla bla blah. I want a girl who can keep up. For fun I like hiking and rock climbing because I like the feeling of adventure. RIGHT: I like the feeling of adventure. Rock climbing and hiking take up most of my time, otherwise I'm hanging with my friends who can keep up. I'd like a girl who is like my friends, can keep up with my lifestyle and can challenge me and have adventures together. I'm 38, from here, work at this job, and bla bla bla. You see the difference? Stats are BORING! Nobody will read stats until they feel a connection with who you are.
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